shellphones | text | un: astudyinviolet

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text | un: astudyinviolet

Type:Text
Sender ID: astudyinviolet (Sherlock Holmes)
To: public
Subject: Magic: deciding, gaining, learning
Warnings: none atm

[ Perhaps this was inevitable given recent events and Sherlock's insecurities about his worth and ability to have purpose in this world. ]

I have a small series of questions to ask those who have gone from not having magic to having magic. Of particular interest are those who have only gained magic from this world, but I will not turn away answers from others either.

The reason I ask these questions is I come from a world where magic is usually a trick using sleight of hand and obfuscation. I inherited my brother's notebooks covering magical theories of this world, but they do not go into the more practical applications or personal aspects of magic. Surely the tattoo is only a single step among many.

How did you decide on what magic to learn?
How did you learn to control that magic?
Do you feel who you are fundamentally has changed? How so?
Have you created any contingency plans in case something goes wrong with your magic or yourself?

[ He... really hopes no one reads too deeply into that last one, but it is a worry Sherlock has given family history and having others within his head before.

And because he learned from Alhaitham's survey... ]

I understand that such a topic might be very personal. Respond anonymously if you desire and only what you are comfortable with sharing. If you'd rather meet in person, I can arrange that as well.

S.H.

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Greetings, Sherlock.

I was grafted with magical ability at an early age long before coming here, so my experience may not be as helpful.

The tattoo here was something I chose of my free will, though; that's always brought me some comfort.

[It's even a bird themed tattoo. Symbolism!]

Regardless of how useful you think it might be, I still welcome the input.

Did you match the element of your magic here with your abilities you already had?

No, they were too varied for that.

[This orphan can hold so many demon rocks.]

I wanted to choose something unlike them, but admittedly it has been...difficult to distinguish where my magic ends and this world's begins.

Which I suppose answers one of your questions. My magic has changed me, yes. But not all of me. I choose to wield it, and how. It does not wield me.

[Except for that time where it kind of did recently and she's desperately trying to keep that compartmentalized.]

I think you are the first to respond that you've chosen something contrary to the abilities you already had.

[ Given what had been implied, Sherlock can understand the desire to do something against what was forced upon her. ~~Hey, what's the complete opposite of water? Asking for a friend.~~ ]

The choice is important, and in this case, it appears you've used it to reclaim a part of yourself.

Thank you. I've thought so myself, but it's nice to hear it from another.

[...and finally addressing the elephant in the room:]

As for a...fallback plan, I'd rather not discuss such things here.

I will not ask you to reveal anything you do not want the public to know. As I stated before, this is all a very personal topic.

However, if you do wish to speak of such a thing, it need not be here. The shellphone is simply a convenient way to speak with multiple people.

Do you have time to meet somewhere? I believe I can still help.

[Just not in front of everyone on the internet.]

Of course. I can meet where you'd like. I'm currently out playing my violin between messages as it is.

[ He got yelled at by his neighbors for his playing again. ]

The Avalanche is docked at the moment, and I have a ring set to Eltrut. I can meet you there, at a park perhaps?

I am on Eltrut, so that can be easily arranged.

[Miriam replies with the address of one of the city-leviathan's many parks; this was one a bit away from the water's edge, more of a quiet botanical garden.]

If this is agreeable, I'll see you soon.

[It didn't take Miriam very long to make arrangements; simply confirming that the ship wouldn't be casting off soon was enough. Using the teleportation rings wasn't so different from a waystone, though Miriam likely wouldn't get used to the startled looks from passerby when she appeared from midair on a rooftop any time soon.

Once past the wrought iron park gates, the Shardbinder listened for the sound of violin music. Sherlock said he was playing one; there could be others doing the same, of course, but they wouldn't be pausing as much as he might be.

She's not wearing her usual blue scarf, though, and kept picking at the end of her sleeve in its absence. Miriam wasn't usually a very fidgety person, but she had a lot on her mind.]

[ And Sherlock is playing his violin. He has ceased aimless scraping or mindless connection of notes with no real concern for the tune. Instead, he has fallen back on some of John's favorites as if to keep his memory of it stronger, so he can still play them once he returns home. He'll finish up the piece before opening his eyes and looking at Miriam. ]

I see you were able to find me without issue. Would it help to continue playing while you talk, or would you like my undivided attention?

[ It's plain to see that she's uneasy, so perhaps not placing his full focus on her would help calm her. Or it could easily be unwelcomed. ]

[There's a new crystal petal joining the ones already on her collarbone and shoulder; it's a dull, sea-green sort of thing, and out of the bounds of the sealing circles around the others.]

It doesn't trouble me. Practice as you like.

[Miriam doubted there'd be any eavesdroppers, but it felt prudent to be cautious. This...concept was a bit personal.]

How have you been?

[ He'll play a simple, calm tune then. The extra sound will help mask their voices as any eavesdroppers will be drawn to the violin rather than the people speaking. ]

My thoughts have drifted towards what I'm able to do in this world. I am not content to exist in a dull routine, stagnate and rebelling against my nature. Yet, I cannot deny that I have concerns about granting myself access to magic.

I take it things have not been going well for you either.

[The tune was unfamiliar to her, but Miriam didn't find it overly distracting or difficult to listen to him.]

You're right to be cautious; magic can be a double-edged tool. Incredibly helpful, and yet...dreadful, when turned against you.

[The fidgeting got worse as she said that last part. Miriam only realized it belatedly, and stopped with a sigh, leaving her poor sleeve alone.]

Practice will make control easier, as it will with most things. But as for a containment measure...

[She almost started picking at her sleeve again, and forced herself to stop.]

Those which I know of aren't guaranteed to work.

[ Miriam's nerves show, which only makes makes him more concerned. She has proven herself reliable in the past, so what would make her like this? What happened? ]

What contingency plan didn't work and how? Even one failing to do its job could still provide useful data in creating others.

[ He could at least know what not to do, and there could be ways the plan could be improved upon. ]

[Miriam draws in a breath, releasing it in a sigh. It didn't quite help as much as she liked, but at least Sherlock's calm reaction helped. He wasn't responding with fear or revulsion, only an academic curiosity. A little concern, too.]

Some background may help; it's a little complicated.

[She pulled her sleeve back to reveal one of the rosettes of crystal on her arm; she taps it, and it rings hollow as glass.]

I'm what's called a Shardbinder; my power is derived from these crystals grafted to me. They themselves are fragments left behind from a fallen demon or supernal being that are drawn to the crystals already present.

The script around the largest of them was added later; it's meant to keep them sealed and prevent their further spread and corruption. Without them, the crystals would continue to grow until my body fossilizes. [Nevermind the mental toll they'd take.] And...for a time, the seals worked as they were written. Most of them still do.

[Here Miriam fell silent for awhile, steeling herself to proceed. The new crystal lay inert and dull on her collarbone, yet felt heavy and cold as a burdensome stone.]

But the demons within my crystal and those outside of them are always trying to claw control to themselves. For a moment, in the Abyss...one succeeded.

[She'd managed to wrestle it into its bindings in the end, but the damage had been done--to her psyche, and the friends who'd been hurt by her power.]

[ Sherlock listens, though his violin changes to a faster tune. He'll wave off any attention to it, but the increased pace is to help mask her voice when revealing more personal details. He slows as she finishes, back to that calmer, steady tune. ]

The Abyss seemed to be a demon of itself, to say little of what lived within it. I could make only as far as the fourth level before I had to return.

[ His body had really started to suffer under that extra strain. Sherlock can see how it could also overwhelm the seals on Miriam's body. ]

You had a plan to keep the demons within the crystals, but you did not have one for if that containment broke.

[ And that is a gap in Miriam's contingency plan. ]

I have thought of what might be done for myself should I lose control. I value the safety of those around me over my life, and I would welcome being sent to my death. I carry no illusion that it would be physically easy for someone to carry out, but I fear too many would let their feelings interfere.

[For a moment after the music intensified Miriam went quiet a moment, listening. But it didn't drown out what she had to say, entirely, and as she continued Sherlock responded like he could hear her just fine. So Miriam continued too.]

In a way, yes. Should the seals fail and never return, my curse will progress again. I once had a...resolution, for this eventuality. I no longer do.

[Her breath caught a moment as the memories of that horrible dark pulled older ones to the front of her mind. It took Miriam a moment to steady herself again, shear the emotion from her words. This wasn't the time. Like all the previous times weren't.]

My friend, Gebel, we had...an agreement of that nature. We were cursed with the same crystal, the same demons. But we could still choose how to use the power we were given. If...one of us lost the ability to choose, the other would intervene.

[With words ideally, but...she'd already endured the realistic outcome. The crystals' corrupting process wasn't something that could be undone. The magics of this world seemed more...tranquil, in comparison, but underestimating any kind of power was perilous.

This wasn't an offer to be made lightly. But it seemed a prudent one to make early, rather than too late.]

...I could offer you the same, if it would bring you reassurance.

[ This is not what Sherlock expected, and the next note screeches before he catches himself and returns to playing normally. ]

It would.

[ That removes a huge weight off Sherlock's shoulders. He has seen what became of someone close to him, and he has seen what became of Rochester. The combination of the two risks converging on him horrifies Sherlock. He would rather die than inflict that on others. ]

I do not know if I could offer the same in return. I can try. It is not a matter of will but a matter of strength.

[ Just like he may not be able to fight against a god, he doesn't think he could stand against a demon if all the human, with the fragility of their life, is gone. ]

I would try.

[The hitch in the music started Miriam out of the gloomy circle her thoughts had been travelling in--just as the counteroffer surprised her. She blinked a moment, and didn't smile--this was too solemn for smiles. But she does nod, and some of the tension wound into her shoulders relaxed.]

Ah--thank you. That means a great deal to me.

[Johannes was no great warrior either, but he was the one who'd been able to stop the worst of her curse's progression.]

Power isn't all flashy magic. The mind is a powerful thing too.

The mind is a double-edged sword capable of felling dragons and cutting its wielder into ribbons.

[ Sherlock doesn't elaborate, but perhaps he doesn't need to given that he's worried about losing control and hurting others. There's enough hinted in the shadows of his words. ]

Thank you for speaking with me about this. I feel like have a direction now.

[ Miriam's decision to chose an element that goes against her grafted powers will eventually give Sherlock the push he needs. Sherlock thinks himself as someone seeped in darkness, drowning in the Abyss, so he chooses light. ]

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