(no subject)

[empyrean_mirror]

Type: Video
Sender ID: paradisaea (Kaveh)
To: public
Subject: free book available!
Warnings: just a very, very poorly written book! Possible mild spoilers for genshin impact up to patch 4.8 in comments, but nothing huge.

[Oh, it's Kaveh, waving at the camera. He looks...slightly damp? And Shadowlily appears to have burrowed into his shirt and is still grumbling at him LOUDLY the entire video.]

So I don't suppose anyone would be interested in a one-of-a-kind, annotated copy of a novel from another world, would they?

[Please. Please dear god take it from him.]

Comments

NOT THOSE CRIMES

[astudyinviolet]

[ Nope. This makes three people he knows leave in recent memory. Even if he didn't realize they left in the first place and they came back, Sherlock does not like that. ]

I see.

are u sure

[empyrean_mirror]

Mr. Holmes?

[you okay there buddy?]

He's not ready for that

[astudyinviolet]

[ Just the ever present fear that he's going to end up alone again. Nothing new. ]

Hm?

he sure is not

[empyrean_mirror]

...Is everything alright?

He's still adjusting to having feels, the body can wait

[astudyinviolet]

Yes.

[ No.

Quick, distraction! Because what is dealing with emotions in a healthy manner when you are a Victorian raised by Mycroft? ]

What book are you trying to pass along to another?

can it

[empyrean_mirror]

It's called Reasoning Knows Not Time of Day, but Suspense Always Follows a Blizzard. It is...supposedly a mystery novel.

[He doesn't want to talk about the annotations.]

... yes...?

[astudyinviolet]

That is perhaps the longest title I have ever read for a book.

hmmmmm

[empyrean_mirror]

it might be the most notable thing about it.

something something Victorian views on certain things

[astudyinviolet]

The title seems mystery enough. What is the mystery? A murder?

it's time to see ankles, Sherry

[empyrean_mirror]

Supposedly murder.

He's not about to use his mind palace to imagine John's ankles!

[astudyinviolet]

Supposedly? Does the victim not stay dead?

and why not

[empyrean_mirror]

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, Mr. Holmes.

I was drunk when I read this.

because doing so would be immoral and possibly cause insanity

[astudyinviolet]

[ That hadn't been the answer he expected. ]

I certainly hope that is not a requirement for reading the book.

it's just a boner, sherry.

[empyrean_mirror]

Ask Alhaitham.

also the idea has not entered his head and wouldn't know what to do anyways

[astudyinviolet]

Alhaitham read this.

[ In which case, perhaps it is not as bad as Kaveh makes it out to be despite Sherlock's criticism of how detective work is carried out in fiction. ]

sorry can't help you there son

[empyrean_mirror]

At least twice.

Don't get too excited, he will read anything left out long enough.

Thus he deals with the feels but not the body, should probably work on being able to sleep first

[astudyinviolet]

You do realize that by saying all this, it is now more of a challenge to give away the book.

shrooms. the answer is shrooms.

[empyrean_mirror]

but I'd feel bad if I lied about it...

tripping out to Cthulhu and water trauma

[astudyinviolet]

Do the annotations bring some value to the text at least?

[empyrean_mirror]

...entertainment value?

[astudyinviolet]

So that is a no.

[ He's beginning to think that the book might serve best as a doorstop. ]

[empyrean_mirror]

if it helps, I initially thought they were spelling errors when I made the annotations...

[astudyinviolet]

[ Now, Sherlock is a little amused. He didn't realize Kaveh made the annotations himself. ]

In addition to being poorly written with a ridiculously long title, the text itself contains errors.

[empyrean_mirror]

It doesn't, actually. The names are...close to historical figures, but I realized after a while that the discrepancies were deliberate.

[astudyinviolet]

Like Watkinson and Holman.

[ Something that should not make sense and fit a pattern but does. ]