Text;

[thearchangel]

Type: Text
Sender ID: thearchangel (Garrus Vakarian)
To: Everyone
Subject: Help Wanted
Warnings: N/A

All right, I cave.

Help wanted for someone who can engineer a way to keep someone from sinking the second they set foot in a body of water.




And please don't say "swimming lessons" - that's not physically possible without a lot of flotation assistance.

Comments

[thearchangel]

Uh huh.

And how much of this testing is survivable by the average guy?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Garrus Garrus Garrus...

I'm not gonna bog you down with things like facts and statistics...

Specifically because none of those things play any part in what I do.

I think you need to ask yourself one very important thing:

"Do you believe in magic?"

[thearchangel]

[The silence is long.]

[Kind of judgmental.]




No.

I do not.

[You asshole.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Then pretend to be surprised when magitech keeps you from drowning

[thearchangel]

I'll be stunned.

Just try not to murder me in the process. I have appointments to keep.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh come on, Garrus. You know me! You think I can't handle rigging up a simple flotation device?

[thearchangel]

I think you'd take any opportunity to launch me into the ocean.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Excuse you, you act like I wouldn't also save you.

[thearchangel]

No offense, but I don't think you know how to give CPR to a turian.

So I'd rather avoid it altogether.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, how does that work, you don't even have any lips.

What, do I hook a plunger to your face and attach the other end to hose or something?

[thearchangel]

... No.

No you don't. It's complicated.