shellphones | Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Entry tags:

Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Type: Video
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming

[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]

Attention fellow riftfarers!

I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.

I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!

And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!

[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]

These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!

Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.

And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~

[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at

bitterbearface]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And it's that annoying sense of compassion that seems to be at the root of all that ails you. Sonic spares me time and time again thanks to that compassion and yet the rest of you seem to have enough sense to question it. So why do you trust him?

You cannot admonish my methods in the same breath that you extol his. And if you seek to bring motivation into the equation, there here is a fun little thought experiment for you:

Do you believe Sonic to truly be as selfless as he acts? He could have allowed Shadow to end my threat once and for all like a true "hero." Perhaps his wish isn't that I be rehabilitated...

But that without me his life would be boring?

[ Wow. That's a lot to take in.

She sighs again, because, she's not surprised. ]

Sonic is good through and through. Yes, I do believe he is as selfless as he acts, because he is. Furthermore, even if you weren't around, you don't think there wouldn't be someone else to take your place? You're not the only big bad guy around, y'know. Believe me. He'd still have his plate full.

Don't give yourself too much credit, Eggman.

I don't need to give myself credit. You all do that for me by virtue of this very conversation! Though, you've stumbled upon yet another fallacy.

While I concede that the blue buffoon is "good" you must also acknowledge that his actions lack foresight. His desire to do good often outweighs the greater need. In that vein, is that truly selfless? Or is his desire to adhere to his unflinching principles cause for consternation?

You all operate on the assumption that he will be able to correct any tragedies his lapse in judgment might create. And on our world, he is given the benefit of the doubt simply because he has yet to properly fail.

I wonder if the people of this world will afford him the same courtesy?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

And I can also concede that sometimes his foresight is a little less than desirable. It's true, Sonic can be reckless at times, but he always has the best interest of everyone around him. He tries to do what's right.

You operate on the assumption that his friends all just go with the flow and agree with him all the time. Spoiler alert: we don't. We're not like your mindless robots. I believe in Sonic, I always have and I always will... you of all people already know that. But he doesn't always just jump into things. He does come to us, too, you know.

[ It's that last bit, though, that sparks her irritation. She doesn't let it show, though, instead flashing Eggman a bright smile. ]

If you so much as think about setting your little toys into chaos mode, I will personally find out where you are and destroy them all myself. And it would be a real shame if you came out of it with a concussion or three, too.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Threats of violence against my person and my work aside, you certainly have nothing to worry about, Miss Rose~!

After all, I have provided young Tails himself with one of my Radniks for him to examine thoroughly with the agreement that he and Sonic give my work a glowing endorsement when they find that there's nothing nefarious about them.

There will be no "chaos mode" I'm afraid. Just good, ol' fashioned, family fun!

They aren't threats, they're promises, Doctor~!

I'm sure you did. Let me guess, you gave him one without weapons? So when you get that glowing review you can launch a full on attack with the other ones that do have weapons, hm??

I'm not impressed. Sonic may believe in you, but I don't. You've proven time and time again that you can't be trusted, and you're going to flub up again. Just know that at least two of us are in the right mindset.

[ Read: She's Team Shadow when it comes to h i m. ]

Ohohoho! How quaint! Do you truly believe I would make such a basic mistake? That I wouldn't foresee that very line of thinking! Oh, Miss Rose you may profess to know me, but I would be devastated if you broke your neck jumping to conclusions!

But rest assured, I read you loud and clear. And I must say it's rather refreshing to hear that more than one of you has some sense.

[Read: This may have just gotten a little more interesting~]

I can see you making more than one basic mistake, so sure!

[ MmmMMMM that doesn't sound good. ]

I'll play nice for Sonic's sake. But the second you step out of line or do something incredibly stupid, just know that I'll be the first willing tribute to happily remind you of your little truce with Sonic. I'm sure, though, we won't have to worry about that, now will we~?

Oh, I've made plenty of mistakes! But the difference between myself and Sonic is that I happen to learn from them.

But your insistence on throwing yourself into the fire for his sake is noted!

In fact, why don't I oblige you? I've already provided Tails with my Radniks for his appraisal.

I would happily give one over to you as well, to do as you see fit.

If you've truly learned from them, then surely you've learned not to screw around and find out.

Well, aren't you sweet. You know, it's been a hot minute since the last time I was able to break anything of yours. But I think I'll pass. I don't exactly need something of yours spying on me for you, thanks. You're far too eager to pass them out like candy.

Merely offering them as reparations for past wrong doings. I have ever confidence that Tails will clear them as merely toys and nothing else. Oh, but don't worry...I won't pass along your concerns to him. I wouldn't want the young boy to think that the faith of his friends is in question.

You don't have to pass anything along, because I'll be doing that myself the next time I see him, thanks. The faith of his friends is definitely not in question, though, silly. Just the faith in you.

While I find this circuitous banter adorable a thought occurs to me.

What is the last thing you remember before washing up in this world, exactly?

Why does that matter?

[ WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW... ]

Because I wish to understand the nature of these rifts better. Specifically, establishing a proper timeline would be beneficial don't you think?

Fine. Do the Starfall Isles ring a bell?

Only insomuch that they'd recently become of interest to me.

[Hm. Concerning.]

I can assure you, it didn't end well for you.

[ Well. Plans wise, it didn't, at least. ]

Yes, well...noted.

[There's precious little he can do about it now, though maybe he can divert precious resources to something else now that he knows.]

Regardless, I'm not exactly thrilled to know you come from some point in my future, but I suppose that's proof we find our way back.

Barring alternate and parallel universes, of course.

You know, I actually feel a lot better knowing that I come from your future. Thanks for that!

[ WOW she has some sort of minuscule leverage over Eggman!? It's kind of lame but also whatever, she'll take it. ]

If it makes you feel better, it doesn't sound like you're that far behind, regardless. Anything else you'd like to know about your future?

Absolutely not! Learning about a possible future taints the mind and raises the odds of that particular event coming to pass!

And besides, even if there was something I wanted to know, I wouldn't ask you!

[Because he's not interested! Specifically in a certain construct that he may or may not be developing!]

Are you suuuure about that? I still have to tell you how the whole of the Starfall Isles blew up and we were all warped into an alternate dimension! All your fault, too, by the way.

[ Is she making this up as she goes? She is. Does he know that? Probably not. But she's going to milk this and have some fun with it while she can. ]

We met our alternate dimension selves. I have to say, you make a really ugly woman, just FYI.

Edited (by the way by the way by the way) 2025-03-30 23:26 (UTC)

[Eggman sputters.]

I'll have you know that my feminine counterpart would be just as much of a genius as I am and would have no use for superficial quantifiers such as "beauty!" Intelligence if the most beautiful thing of all!

Regardless, I'll just have to see to it that the Starfall Isles don't explode! A triviality for one such as I!

[ Amy feigns a wince. ]

Ooo, yeah... I should probably warn you, she was not, in fact, intelligent at all. She was the exact opposite. But... something incredible happened.

[ She clasps her hands together now and closes her eyes, as if she's recalling the most amazing thing that she is most definitely NOT just making up as she goes. ]

You said that the only way you could ever fall in love was with yourself... and that's exactly what happened. You decided that you wanted to find a way to bring your female counterpart back with you so that you could settle down and start a little egg family with her...

Preposterous! That's impossible! I have no need for a family! If there is anything I need, I build it! And the only thing I need is for everyone to stop with all of this family nonsense!

Besides, I already adore myself as I am! I have no need for another me unless that other me is useful in my eternal machinations!

[He's sputtering so angrily he's practically red in the face.]

And another thing! Everyone knows that crossing paths with a parallel displaced duplicate is a recipe for a spatial paradox! And while I revel in wanton destruction, I only do so when it benefits me! Come back when you've learned the ins and outs of basic space-time you precocious pink prevaricator!

[He's. He's so angry. He's so angry that Amy is from the future and is clearly messing with him.]

Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

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