[VOICE] | un: hammertime

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice with Screencaps!
Sender ID: hammertime
To: Public
Subject: Shellphone Tech Support
Warnings: Stupidity

Okay, I admit I'm not the best when it comes to technology but I'm seriously running out of patience here! All I want to do is text someone! I was able to text them before but then I changed their name in my phone and now I can't AND IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I CAN'T GET NEAR CERTAIN PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THESE BRANDS BUT IF I CAN'T TEXT SOMEONE NOW EXPLODING PRISONS ARE GONNA BE THE LEAST OF THEIR WORRIES.

[Darin takes a deep, steadying breath. Normally, the person he would go to for tech support is Zelda. A person he cannot presently go anywhere near. So now he's the network's problem.]

Look. Okay. I just. I need someone to look at my contacts and tell me if I screwed something up. Because I don't know what I did. I just changed one contact. I change contact names all the time! All the time!

LOOK. HERE.



CAN ANYONE SEE THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO TEXT SOMEONE AND EVERY TEXT I [Sounds of fingers furiously tapping] TRY [More tapping] I GET [TAPPING]

... ... ...

"MESSAGE CANNOT BE DELIVERED" MY BRIGHT, BLUE ASS!!! WHO THE HELL MADE THESE PIECES OF—

[Darin is drowned out by the sound of wind because he did, in fact, throw his phone.]

[He will retrieve it shortly once it lands.]

Comments

Or kill Darin. Or both.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What? No, they're literally perfect.

[headhunt]

But you wouldn't say her tits are the best? She's going to be heart broken.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, but what if I make a public declaration like that and it embarrasses her.

[headhunt]

I'll help her get revenge by embarrassing you back.

( obviously. )

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Hah! Joke's on you, I'm not embarrassed so easily!

[headhunt]

But you've never had Mama K in your life before.

( there's a smile in her voice. )

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Fair point, but counterpoint!

You can't embarrass me because I have nothing to be embarrassed about!

[headhunt]

That's what you think, Blueberry boy.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh you're on! You damn well know I can't be embarrassed! You've got nothing! It's a bluff!

[headhunt]

Karlach doesn't have to bluff.

I'll have to start calling you Tomato Boy instead once I'm done with you.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh bring it! Bring it! Darin Altway doesn't back down from a challenge!

Do your absolute worst, Karlach!

[headhunt]

First—

( and most importantly. )

Captain girlfriend needs a reason for the revenge.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I don't think she's got a vengeful bone in her body.

[headhunt]

You sure?

It's the playful kind and she seems like she's got a wild streak in her.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Okay, maybe.

[No comment on that 'wild streak' comment though because.]

[Well]

[Because.]