[VOICE] | un: hammertime

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice with Screencaps!
Sender ID: hammertime
To: Public
Subject: Shellphone Tech Support
Warnings: Stupidity

Okay, I admit I'm not the best when it comes to technology but I'm seriously running out of patience here! All I want to do is text someone! I was able to text them before but then I changed their name in my phone and now I can't AND IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I CAN'T GET NEAR CERTAIN PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THESE BRANDS BUT IF I CAN'T TEXT SOMEONE NOW EXPLODING PRISONS ARE GONNA BE THE LEAST OF THEIR WORRIES.

[Darin takes a deep, steadying breath. Normally, the person he would go to for tech support is Zelda. A person he cannot presently go anywhere near. So now he's the network's problem.]

Look. Okay. I just. I need someone to look at my contacts and tell me if I screwed something up. Because I don't know what I did. I just changed one contact. I change contact names all the time! All the time!

LOOK. HERE.



CAN ANYONE SEE THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO TEXT SOMEONE AND EVERY TEXT I [Sounds of fingers furiously tapping] TRY [More tapping] I GET [TAPPING]

... ... ...

"MESSAGE CANNOT BE DELIVERED" MY BRIGHT, BLUE ASS!!! WHO THE HELL MADE THESE PIECES OF—

[Darin is drowned out by the sound of wind because he did, in fact, throw his phone.]

[He will retrieve it shortly once it lands.]

Comments

voice; thearchangel

[thearchangel]

[Oh he fuckin SEES that "girlfriend" right there, but more importantly--]

Where the hell did you get that picture of Shepard?

[... Garrus. Garrus did you not see your picture.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Garrus is that really the important thing right now?!

» voice | un: tilfrosset

[tilfrosset]

"Chilly Jilly"?

[Darin, why are you the way that you are?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

It's the first thing that came to mind. Also I wanted to give you a cute nickname.

Oh good the screen didn't crack.

video; un:catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

"Ranma-lama-ding-dong?" Really?

[Darin plz]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, that's what you are in my phone. The picture's funny too. Focusing on the wrong thing here.

Text, UN: 🖕nunya🖕

[telepathicignorance]

I don't know, I think it suits you.

voice; onebullet

[onebullet]

Where the hell did you get that picture of me?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

The camera?

video; un: paradisea

[empyrean_mirror]

...Are you sure you're actually connected to the network? Usually messages can't be delivered because of connectivity issues.

[He's not going to address...any of the rest of this.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I have to be! How else would I be talking to people right now???

voice; un: headhunt

[headhunt]

Hot and horny, Fairyhead?

( she clicks her tongue. )

Missed opportunity to use a photo of my tits. Or are you still frightened of them?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I don't have a picture of those AND I NEVER SAID I WAS FRIGHTENED OF THEM, KARLACH!!!

voice: un: reindered

[reindered]

I'm not a stuffed toy, you know.

[He assumes this is in reference to his appearance. That he looks like a stuffed toy. Which. Yes, he is hella cute. But still!!]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What? Oh! Yeah, I know that! You're just...y'know.

Absolutely adorable.

voice; id: ramuhs

[ramuhs]

[Well this was...something—]

Risky whatnow? And what picture are you even using for me?

[Or...all of the, wow those are very kind of frightening—]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Risky Cidness.

And...I don't know, just a picture I have. Hold on.

It's...oh. Here it is.

voice | un: netherese

[netherese]

[Gale is not the person to go to about technology, but:]

How do you keep track of everyone if you're constantly changing their names? Some of these pictures are...

[Hm.]

Well. Curious, shall we say?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I mean, they're nicknames I made up so obviously I know who they'd belong to.

Some of them are doodles I made on one of the weird drawing apps on the phone.

I don't think Karlach's eyes can get that big.

Text, UN: 🖕nunya🖕

[telepathicignorance]

(What's Darin posting now? Messaging problems... has someone left again?

Wait...

Okay, please understand, it's gonna take them a while to get to their picture, despite it being third in the list, because they're absolutely cracking up at what they're pretty sure is an accidental girlfriend reveal. Holy fucking shit, dude.

But when it does, the panic cuts through the humor like a knife. Shit! How many people have seen their face?

Their response is further delayed as they to stop hyperventilating.)

It's not funny to mock someone's addiction, you know.

(They're probably not being serious here.)

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I dont have an addiction what are you talking about the only thing I want is to TEXT SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO ME

Did you get this

CAN I TEXT YOU?! WHY CAN I TEXT YOU?!

voice | un: skypatrol

[playertwotailed]

[He sees "Tech Support" in the subject and he's all in — he's great at technology and supporting! What a great opportunity to lend a hand!]

[... and then he actually listens to the post and he regrets everything. Calm down! Don't throw it, or you'll make things worse!!]

H-hey, it's all right! Technology can be pretty tricky for some people. Any mistake should be pretty easy to fix, as long as it's still in one piece. [... so please, tell him you didn't pull a Knuckles and wreck it.]

So, you were editing their contact information?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, I was editing the contact info earlier and then I couldn't text after that.

Apparently hucking my phone into a tree didn't help.

You know, hand me a pile of elemental stones and some unrefined ore and I can build you a magnetic grappling hook. But this crap throws me for a damn loop!

text | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

My name is Sherlock, but I appreciate the reminder to not carry me around against my will.

[ "Sherry" is still a name with so many emotions and thoughts tied up with it. Wait for Heizou to break it in for usage by people once more. He's unknowingly doing work on it. And Sherlock's not even going to address being upside-down. He recognizes that image. However, there is something he will address. ]

You finally settled your relationship status with Miss Zelda.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Its the first thing that came to mind when I put your name in my phone. Honestly it made me laugh you used to hate me!

Wait what? What about Zelda?