[VIDEO] TailsTube: Episode 1

[playertwotailed]

Type: Video
Sender ID: SkyPatrol
To: Public
Subject: TailsTube: Episode 01 [LIVE!]
Warnings: bullying foxes


[The feed opens up to Tails' cabin on the Stormbringer. He's spent a bit of time and effort on getting it ready for the camera: Tools put away neatly on a pegboard, a few potted plants over here, some hand-drawn blueprints over there... the space still looks lived in, but mindfully so. And on top of it all, there's a banner reading "TAILSTUBE" pinned up on the wall behind him.]

[There's a moment's hesitation as the fox double-checks his shellphone, sees that it's recording properly, then backs up to fit in the camera's frame:]

Hey guys! Welcome to the inaugural episode of... TailsTube: Sea Fox Edition! [A quick jazz-hands towards the banner behind him!] Back home, TailsTube was my streaming channel, where I brought on the coolest guests I could find to hang out, answer your questions, and have some fun! Now, unfortunately, my setup here still needs a few upgrades before it can hold a candle to my original lab...

So, u-uh... [He pauses, clears his throat — summons up some willpower to say this next part with a smile.] This is also the first episode with a paid sponsor. And it's none other than Dr. Eggman himself!

... no one's more surprised about this than I am, guys.

[Normally, this is about the point where he would pull up some stunning, HQ art and graphics to add some context and flavor to the topic of discussion. But low-tech is the name of the game, and luckily, he's a fairly good artist. So, instead, he's standing up a poster display with drawings of Eggman's notorious creations, including various badniks, some weapons and obstacles, and his villainous pièce de résistance, the Death Egg.]

Back on our home world, Eggman's name is synonymous with terror and disaster. He's invented countless dangerous weapons and built an entire robotic military, which he's used in his many ill-fated plots to conquer our world! So, even though he's making peace with us for now, I can't help but be skeptical...

But on the other hand, if it is true? I'm actually kinda excited. Because Dr. Eggman does his best work when he's not trying to kill us.

[And here comes a second poster display, featuring some of the doctor's lesser known creations. For example, there's the E-Gear and a few other models of Extreme Gear, as well as some of his communication tech.]

And after looking over his new Radniks, I can say they seem like a step in the right direction. None of them come with any weapons, no animals are harmed in their creation or operation... even the code is pretty straightforward assistant stuff. So, if that's what we can expect going forward—

And that's where you're wrong, you twin-tailed toddler!

[The feed goes dark for a moment and there's a...well, it's a ruckus. Because Eggman has crashed the set of TailsTube and he's decided that now is his time to make an entrance. When the feed comes back, Eggman's taken a seat next to Tails. One leg crossed over the other, hands steepled in his lap. Where did he get that egg-shaped chair? He brought it. Don't ask questions. Especially if they're stupid.]

Since when have I ever given you anything you all 'expected?' The true hallmark of a genius is to subvert expectations! To shift paradigms! To—

[He turns to look at Tails' display and huffs disapprovingly.]

What are these? They look like they were drawn by a child. If you're going to showcase my work, at least put in effort.

[And Tails' fuzzy cheeks puff in his own disapproval at the critique. He put plenty of effort into it! ... but before the fox can get a word in edgewise, Eggman spins back around, sneering.]

Now, as I was saying! Tails here has given his sidekick seal of approval on my Radniks! And while I am aware that several of you have questioned my motives, especially in light of certain Shadow-y warnings, you can rest assured my motivations are...pure.

[He's not lying. Though what his motivations are 'purely' about is anyone's guess.]

And just to prove to you I've turned over a new engine...

[He lifts his gloved hand and makes several keystroke-like gestures. From offscreen a Motobug wheels itself in and places a box in the center.]

I've come with my newest product.

[He lifts the box to reveal...a model kit? It sure looks like a model kit.]

You see, my Radniks were so successful, I thought "Why stop there?" Why not encourage others to unlock their own potential! Foster the next generation of geniuses! And so, I present to you...Build-a-Bot!

This kit comes with every part necessary for you to build your own toys, complete with rudimentary programming chips that will teach you the fun of coding your own robotic arr–assistant!

[And Tails' expression starts to light up with his original enthusiasm again.] ... Huh. A DIY kit should be pretty fun and educational. Even someone with more mechanical experience could probably use it to help jumpstart their work with the local technology. This is actually kind of a cool idea, Eggman.

[With another keystroke gestures, an overlay appears over the TailsTube feed that looks suspiciously like a Home Shopping Network style layout. Except it is positively branded with Eggman.]

Now, act now and order your own Build-a-Bot kit, and I'll even throw in some spare chips for additional behavioral programming! It's a deal so good, you'd think I was crazy much less evil! And all proceeds go to me and my research. You know. For the...good. Of everyone. [Bah.]

With...of course a small stipend to sponsor this show. Small.

Negligible really.

[Speaking of the sponsorship — by this point, Tails isn't hiding his cranky expression about this arrangement, and is quickly tapping away at his shellphone.] Seriously, Eggman? Come on! This is not that kind of show! [With a few more taps... bloop! The overlay disappears, block by block, scrubbing all the rotten eggman branding off the screen.] And I only agreed to let you be a guest, not take over hosting duties...

Yes, yes! Of course! How presumptuous of me! You have my sincerest apologies!

[With a quick few airborne keystrokes of Eggman's other hand, some text flashes rapidly across the bottom of the screen at a blink-and-you'll-miss-it speed.]

"Build-a-Bot is a licensed product. Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik does not bear any responsibility for any weapons, doomsday devices, or robotic armies constructed using this product. This product is fully and comprehensively endorsed by SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and MILES "TAILS" PROWER and responsibility for their use or misuse falls solely on their furry heads."

Anyway — please send us your questions, so we can read and answer them live on stream! Or if you'd like, call in to ask them yourself!

Comments

audio;

[stealthpun]

[he absolutely was able to read that quick flashing text thank you!]

Tails.

Really.

[Espio isn't even going to try to hide his disappointed tone.]

audio;

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh good! Our first call-in!

Greetings, and welcome to EggTube! How many Build-a-Bots shall I put you down for?

[playertwotailed]

[He sighs so deeply for such a little guy.]

Yes, really. We struck a deal so I could get more information on his Radniks, and...

Yeah. I don't think he even remembers what our deal was anymore. He's literally working off his own script now!

video; un: weishappened

[weisshappened]

Eggman?

[Sorry, hold on, local man needs a minute here.]

Serious?

video

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh here we go.

My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik. However, "Eggman" is a name I've been mocked by. I adopted it, thereby stealing all of its power.

Besides, I've grown rather accustomed to it. Any other questions?

video

[playertwotailed]

It's not that hard to see why that's his nickname, is it? I mean...

[He draws an egg-shape in the air with the tip of his finger. And it does sort of look like the doctor's silhouette, doesn't it? If the smaller end were his bald head, and the larger end were his gut.]

What would you nickname him?

audio;

[tenrectricity]

ENDORSED BY WHO?

video

[playertwotailed]

[P A N I C]

THIS IS SPONSORED CONTENT, THE VIEWS EXPRESSED HERE DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF THE HOST!!

video

[reneggadetinkerer]

You heard right, caller.

This is the start of a joyous and fruitful partnership!

Did I mention how none of this would have been made possible if not for the magnanimous and forgiving heart of one, Sonic the Hedgehog, and his stalwart companion Tails?

I believed it bears mentioning.

video; un: havenofear

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ Usually, Amy's all for this. All for supporting Tails and whatever it is that he's doing. Unfortunately, this time she's not really feeling it, and the look on her face screams of absolute d i s p l e a s u r e. ]

We need to talk.

video

[playertwotailed]

U-uh...

[Is she mad? Oh geez, she looks mad. Please be mad at Eggman only. Tails had a plan and you can kind of see it in there, okay??]

Of course, Amy! What's on your mind?

video

[reneggadetinkerer]

Well now, another friendly face!

It's...the er...

Pink one!

[un: kitsunami] | text

[tenrectricity]

DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU NOW THESE LOSERS HAVE BEAT THIS QUACK DOWN NUMEROUS OF TIMES SO HE'S SELLING YOU CRAPPY MATERIAL. IT'S JUNK. YOU'RE GETTING SCAMMED. HE HAS NO GREAT MIND. GIVE HIM YOUR RUPIES OR GOLDEN CIRCLES OR WHATEVER BUT YOU'LL BE PAYING FOR FAULTY EQUIPMENT AND IT'LL HAVE DISGUSTING FOX HAIR ALL IN IT AND THEN WHEN IT WORKS FOR ONLY ONE DAY THEY'LL SAY YOU CAN'T GET YOUR MONEY BACK THEY'RE CON MEN AND CON FOX. THEY'RE SCAM ARTISTS. THE LOWEST OF THE LOW.

ALSO THE FOX WAS PAID UNDER THE TABLE TO ENDORSE THIS WHEN KNOWING THAT IT'S USELESS PRODUCT DON'T TRUST THESE FOOLS.

voice

[reneggadetinkerer]

Now see here, if anyone is going to utilize spam bots to disrupt a stream, it's going to be me!

The nerve! Stay in your lane!

voice

[heyyourenotsonic]

Say [ Clap. ] it [ Clap. ] louder [ Clap. ] for [ Clap. ] the [ CLAP. ] ones [ CLAP! ] in [ CLAP!! ] the [ CLAP!!!! ] back! [ CLAP! ]

» voice | un: tilfrosset

[tilfrosset]

What's a streaming channel?

[Finally, someone who asks the important questions!]

video

[playertwotailed]

[Finally, someone he can answer important questions for!]

Oh! Sorry about that. It's become such a commonplace term for us that it sorta slipped my mind to explain it.

A streaming channel is a source of regularly scheduled shows. Specifically, it produces live streams, which are shows presented in one continuous video, recorded on the personal device of the host and sent immediately to its audience. It's commonly hosted by amateurs — though I like to think I'm a little above that level!

[Not that he can fully demonstrate that yet. Otherwise, he could probably add some graphics to accompany the explanation.]

There are streams for all kinds of different content. For example, a popular one is where the host plays a game and lets the audience watch their progress. [This woman probably won't think of a video game, but that's a whole other answer.] But mine is a little more like a talk show: I'll answer questions sent from the audience, usually with the help of a guest! ... and... usually a more helpful guest.

video

[reneggadetinkerer]

What my colleague here is trying to say is that this is not pre-recorded in the slightest! This content is brought to you live with all of the fun little asides and technical foibles in tact!

Now, were you perhaps interested in a Build-a-Bot?

TEXT

[spinsandneedles]

WHAT

WE DON'T ENDORSE ANYTHING TAILS IM COMING OVER

[are you TRYING to give Shadow more excuses to randomly punch Sonic in the back of the face COME ON]

[un: kitsunami] | text;

[tenrectricity]

YOU.

video

[playertwotailed]

[He reads the question aloud, and everyone can see in real time as his expression gets more confused and concerned.]

Uh... what are you talking about? I didn't endorse his work... I-I just inspected it for safety!

[Because he sure didn't see Eggman's last message on the screen. He was a little too busy hosting things from the other side of the camera!]

Yes, please come over, Sonic! Things have really gotten out of hand over here — I didn't even invite him for the first episode! [He just rolled with it. He's usually good at rolling with things!]

t e x t

[heyyourenotsonic]

There he isssss

I have questions for you Sonic :)

video; un:catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

[Soooooo Ranma tuned in to this broadcasting, and there's one itty-bitty detail he can't help but hone in on.]

Wait, hold on, hold on. That old geezer's name is actually Eggman??

[Excuse him for a moment, he's juggling his phone with his feet kicking in the air, too caught up laughing his ass off to hold it in his hand.]

And here I thought he couldn't come up with worse ones than Radniks, pffft--

[Expectations have been subverted, just like Eggman wanted!]

video

[reneggadetinkerer]

Can we focus on my product, please?

My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik! "Eggman" is an insulting moniker that I have adopted to steal its power! You may laugh at it all you want, but it hardly matters to me anymore. When my foes are defeated, knowing they fell to "Dr. Eggman" just adds insult to mortal injury!

[wherethereislight]

[They're beating your asses in the QRTs]

Video

[velocityraptor]

[ There's a lot going on here, least of all the fact that Eggman is a...reformed villain? It sounds like? Okay sure.

But more importantly- ]

What is this show actually about? [ Is it just a home shopping network? ]