[VIDEO] TailsTube: Episode 1

[playertwotailed]

Type: Video
Sender ID: SkyPatrol
To: Public
Subject: TailsTube: Episode 01 [LIVE!]
Warnings: bullying foxes


[The feed opens up to Tails' cabin on the Stormbringer. He's spent a bit of time and effort on getting it ready for the camera: Tools put away neatly on a pegboard, a few potted plants over here, some hand-drawn blueprints over there... the space still looks lived in, but mindfully so. And on top of it all, there's a banner reading "TAILSTUBE" pinned up on the wall behind him.]

[There's a moment's hesitation as the fox double-checks his shellphone, sees that it's recording properly, then backs up to fit in the camera's frame:]

Hey guys! Welcome to the inaugural episode of... TailsTube: Sea Fox Edition! [A quick jazz-hands towards the banner behind him!] Back home, TailsTube was my streaming channel, where I brought on the coolest guests I could find to hang out, answer your questions, and have some fun! Now, unfortunately, my setup here still needs a few upgrades before it can hold a candle to my original lab...

So, u-uh... [He pauses, clears his throat — summons up some willpower to say this next part with a smile.] This is also the first episode with a paid sponsor. And it's none other than Dr. Eggman himself!

... no one's more surprised about this than I am, guys.

[Normally, this is about the point where he would pull up some stunning, HQ art and graphics to add some context and flavor to the topic of discussion. But low-tech is the name of the game, and luckily, he's a fairly good artist. So, instead, he's standing up a poster display with drawings of Eggman's notorious creations, including various badniks, some weapons and obstacles, and his villainous pièce de résistance, the Death Egg.]

Back on our home world, Eggman's name is synonymous with terror and disaster. He's invented countless dangerous weapons and built an entire robotic military, which he's used in his many ill-fated plots to conquer our world! So, even though he's making peace with us for now, I can't help but be skeptical...

But on the other hand, if it is true? I'm actually kinda excited. Because Dr. Eggman does his best work when he's not trying to kill us.

[And here comes a second poster display, featuring some of the doctor's lesser known creations. For example, there's the E-Gear and a few other models of Extreme Gear, as well as some of his communication tech.]

And after looking over his new Radniks, I can say they seem like a step in the right direction. None of them come with any weapons, no animals are harmed in their creation or operation... even the code is pretty straightforward assistant stuff. So, if that's what we can expect going forward—

And that's where you're wrong, you twin-tailed toddler!

[The feed goes dark for a moment and there's a...well, it's a ruckus. Because Eggman has crashed the set of TailsTube and he's decided that now is his time to make an entrance. When the feed comes back, Eggman's taken a seat next to Tails. One leg crossed over the other, hands steepled in his lap. Where did he get that egg-shaped chair? He brought it. Don't ask questions. Especially if they're stupid.]

Since when have I ever given you anything you all 'expected?' The true hallmark of a genius is to subvert expectations! To shift paradigms! To—

[He turns to look at Tails' display and huffs disapprovingly.]

What are these? They look like they were drawn by a child. If you're going to showcase my work, at least put in effort.

[And Tails' fuzzy cheeks puff in his own disapproval at the critique. He put plenty of effort into it! ... but before the fox can get a word in edgewise, Eggman spins back around, sneering.]

Now, as I was saying! Tails here has given his sidekick seal of approval on my Radniks! And while I am aware that several of you have questioned my motives, especially in light of certain Shadow-y warnings, you can rest assured my motivations are...pure.

[He's not lying. Though what his motivations are 'purely' about is anyone's guess.]

And just to prove to you I've turned over a new engine...

[He lifts his gloved hand and makes several keystroke-like gestures. From offscreen a Motobug wheels itself in and places a box in the center.]

I've come with my newest product.

[He lifts the box to reveal...a model kit? It sure looks like a model kit.]

You see, my Radniks were so successful, I thought "Why stop there?" Why not encourage others to unlock their own potential! Foster the next generation of geniuses! And so, I present to you...Build-a-Bot!

This kit comes with every part necessary for you to build your own toys, complete with rudimentary programming chips that will teach you the fun of coding your own robotic arr–assistant!

[And Tails' expression starts to light up with his original enthusiasm again.] ... Huh. A DIY kit should be pretty fun and educational. Even someone with more mechanical experience could probably use it to help jumpstart their work with the local technology. This is actually kind of a cool idea, Eggman.

[With another keystroke gestures, an overlay appears over the TailsTube feed that looks suspiciously like a Home Shopping Network style layout. Except it is positively branded with Eggman.]

Now, act now and order your own Build-a-Bot kit, and I'll even throw in some spare chips for additional behavioral programming! It's a deal so good, you'd think I was crazy much less evil! And all proceeds go to me and my research. You know. For the...good. Of everyone. [Bah.]

With...of course a small stipend to sponsor this show. Small.

Negligible really.

[Speaking of the sponsorship — by this point, Tails isn't hiding his cranky expression about this arrangement, and is quickly tapping away at his shellphone.] Seriously, Eggman? Come on! This is not that kind of show! [With a few more taps... bloop! The overlay disappears, block by block, scrubbing all the rotten eggman branding off the screen.] And I only agreed to let you be a guest, not take over hosting duties...

Yes, yes! Of course! How presumptuous of me! You have my sincerest apologies!

[With a quick few airborne keystrokes of Eggman's other hand, some text flashes rapidly across the bottom of the screen at a blink-and-you'll-miss-it speed.]

"Build-a-Bot is a licensed product. Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik does not bear any responsibility for any weapons, doomsday devices, or robotic armies constructed using this product. This product is fully and comprehensively endorsed by SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and MILES "TAILS" PROWER and responsibility for their use or misuse falls solely on their furry heads."

Anyway — please send us your questions, so we can read and answer them live on stream! Or if you'd like, call in to ask them yourself!

Comments

[reneggadetinkerer]

As much as I would love to watch you cripple them with your hammer, I ask you: What could I possibly do with toys that would menace you or the general populace?

I'm merely trying to fund my work. In fact, I've taken strides to align myself with some upstanding citizens.

What more would you need? Shall I submit a thesis for your approval?

[heyyourenotsonic]

I don't need my hammer to take those two out, thanks, but that's not the point. Here's the answer to your question: what COULDN'T you do? You're too smart for your own good, you'd figure something out, believe me. You always do.

Oh, there's something you could do, but you wouldn't like it. It includes taking all of those Radniks of yours and shoving them where the sun no longer shines.

If I see one near me, it's getting smashed. I don't care who owns it.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Your effusive praise is undercut by your threats of bodily harm, but I'll take what I can get.

Why don't you use your little playing cards to divine my intentions, hm? If you're just going to make up accusations, you may as well commit to the bit.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Once again I will reiterate, they aren't threats. They are absolutely promises. I'll be the first one to shove them right back where they belong too if you don't watch it.

[ Amy bristles, like you did not seriously just call her beloved cards PLAYING CARDS?? ]

It's not making up accusations when I've seen the destruction your creations bring on in person! I don't need any TAROT!! cards to tell me that.

[reneggadetinkerer]

And yet my resources are sparse. In fact, I haven't even gotten one of those ridiculous tattoos that allows me to wield magic. A power that I could, no doubt, use to wreak havoc on this world.

I'm starting to think your frustrations lie with a certain blue buffoon. I haven't done anything and you can't accept that as fact.

Now who are the aggressors, hm?

[heyyourenotsonic]

Your Eggman, your brain is all the resources you need and we both know that. Granted, you're right, I'll give you that much...

Oh, my frustrations right now lie with both Sonic and Tails, you're absolutely right. And I can't wait until I see them both in person again. You haven't done anything yet.

I'm absolutely going to be an aggressor when it comes to you and your idiot ideas and robots, so I will PROUDLY say that you're right, I'm the aggressor this time!

[reneggadetinkerer]

I kindly request you keep me appraised of how that 'discussion' goes. I'm sorely lacking for entertainment.

How does it feel? To be on the side with the superior firepower? To be the one poised to conquer?

I imagine it's fun isn't it?

[heyyourenotsonic]

I can find ways to keep you entertained, if that's what you want. You won't like them, though.

[ Does. Does he think she has a tattoo? She wants to tell him that NO, she hasn't... but she doesn't. Good. Let him think she's got what she doesn't have. ]

What's fun is ruining your plans. I've almost missed smashing your hard work to pieces.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Then you must be terribly bored.

I have no plans to speak of other than to work and understand this world.

I've even explored ruins with Shadow. A maze, to be exact. We were looking for relics.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Oh, boy. Exploring with Shadow. How'd that end, hm? Well enough I'd imagine, given you're still here having this delightful conversation.

[reneggadetinkerer]

We...had our differences. I'll have you know we endured each other's company.

It could have been worse. We even solved the maze and overcame deadly giant spiders together.

We were the picture of teamwork!

[heyyourenotsonic]

By 'we' do you mean 'he'? Also, it's hard to associate Shadow with the word 'teamwork' unless it involves Rouge and Omega.

How big were the spiders?

[reneggadetinkerer]

Distressingly big.

Not the point.

The point is, if you gave me a chance, I'm sure you can see that we can work together.

I won't even have any machines at my disposal, save for my custom-made gloves.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Sounds like fun.

I'm sorry, but how many chances have you had? And SUDDENLY you want to turn over a new leaf?

Hard pass.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Truthfully, I don't have much of a choice do I?

Admittedly, there have been some people I've found engaging here. It's nice to find people of some intellectual caliber rather than this...

Wonderful banter we find ourselves terminally locked in.

[heyyourenotsonic]

I'm happy for you, congratulations on making friends. Everyone should have at least one, even you. It's nice to know you're not limiting yourself to just talking to nuts and bolts all day.

Yes, well, after years of animosity between us, you'll have to forgive my skepticism.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh, of course I forgive you!

See how easy that was?

[heyyourenotsonic]

Too bad neither one of us is sincere~

[reneggadetinkerer]

Truly a shame! Why, if we weren't so hellbent on mutual destruction, perhaps we could even be friends!

[heyyourenotsonic]

Right? Well, you know what they say. It is what it is!

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh, is that what they say? I suppose settling for the status quo is all the Restoration is good for, anyway!

I prefer to build back better.

[heyyourenotsonic]

I know you do. Which is why I won't be swayed, and I am looking forward to telling Sonic and Tails I told you so when this all blows up.

[reneggadetinkerer]

I have to say, I can appreciate a well-founded and deep-seeded grudge. Your animosity and completely biased hatred has earned my respect!

I do enjoy our little chats. It's tiring putting on airs all the time.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Oh, don't get it twisted, Egghead. I don't hate you, I just hate the ridiculous things you do. Big difference. I'll take that respect though, thanks~

I'm sure it is, especially when you're not used to having to be so nice all the time. Legit question here, how have you kept it up so long, hm?

[reneggadetinkerer]

Wait, you don't hate me?

I don't understand. I've willingly tortured you for years.

That's our thing. I rise up and the rest of your fools thwart me. I come back with something bigger and more lethal.

You're telling me all of these years and you don't harbor any hatred?