video / it's snowing on mt. fuji

[tenrectricity]

Type: Video
Sender ID: tenrectricity (Surge)
To: Public
Subject: Hikes
Warnings: Trashing Espio's room

---

Okaaaaay! I know what you are all here for today, a bounty? A chance to beat someone's face in!? I want that too, but I'm bringing somethin' else to the table.

[ the camera shuffles, surge can be seen relaxing on someone's bed with her legs crossed, and what seems to be a small book in hand. the background suggests she's in a very tidy room which doesn't match her personality, however... in the corner of the video, a busted down door can be seen with the hinges broken off, and then the camera's readjusted to show only surge and that mischievous smile of hers. ]

So Chick had me thinkin' you know, everyone got a lil creative side, so I thought maybe revealing these techniques would lighten everything up.

[ leaning up, surge flips through the book in hand searching for something and... ]

Aha! So I'll start with someone I know who does this almost every day. Ahem! Here we have one that happens to the best of us. I feel as if this one needs a beat... DRIPPY, HAND ME THAT GUITAR....

[ with the guitar in hand, and the questionable pick is when surge begins to strum at the strings to find a beat. she's a little taken aback on how this works because this is different from what she's seen, but her beat is off-rhythm and she gives a little screamo action on this poetic piece of literature she memorized as another piece of art slides on screen. ]

MY WALLET IS SO EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I COULD USE A PENNYYYYYYYY OR TWENTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
THE STAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE OF MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNKKKKKKK SO UNKEMPTLYYYYYYYYYYYY
DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOO, DEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[ that one speaks for itself as surge finishes up her "technique" on the guitar, one of the strings snapping, and she throws it on the floor afterwards. with that done, surge flips to another page, squinting to look over at her camerafox picture he wants to use then down at the writing.

once found, the picture takes the entire view. ]

Bees buzzing so loud
Crocodiles full of sound
It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

[ as they prepare for the next one, surge is shuffling through pages unable to find what she wants... ] This next one gunna take a minute, Drippy do a commercial break or somethin' I need to find this one.

---

--COMMERCIAL BREAK STARTS--

[ kit and surge each leave from one side of the camera, going offscreen until...

a piece of paper is lifted in front of the camera, and slowly moved from one side to the other. behind it, some might recognize that they're hearing kitsunami's voice. ]


Do do do do doo, do do d-do do... Doo... Do not buy Build-A-Bot!

---

[ after this important message, the picture slides off camera, and now surge is somewhere else inside of the room, and there's a little quaint desk for calligraphy by her side. surge stands with sharktooth grin as another image comes from above, covering the camera. again, surge's voice can be heard as she reads off another hit. ] For the finale of Peaches' Hikes, we'll end it off on one that makes a lotta sense to me.

[ here comes the last image from below, covering the shellphone screen, and revealing... a masterpiece as surge reads off that little book she has. ]

Seashells on the sea shore
There is a very loud snore
Ignoring it is a chore
Would like to stop being poor
Waiting around is a bore

Well, there ya have it! All sorts of creative Hikes in this little book, now if anyone has any critiques or things they'd like to say. Love, love, looooooooooooooooooove to hear'em.

[ she throws the book onto the ground as she's done with it. ] Anyway, everyone say thank you to Della Duck for bringing us together as a community to showcase our talents. Remember to like and subscribe.

[ one last piece of paper comes on the screen. ]



[ then the video cuts off. ]

Comments

[ FLICKS HER VIDEO ON FOR SHOWDOWN #82983890 ]

[tenrectricity]

WHAT ATTORNEYS!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE A DAMN THING BUT THOSE STUPID BOTS AND THEY'RE BIASED SO YOU CAN'T USE'M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ SCRUB!!! ]

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

I'll have you know that this is a textbook case of slander! I'm an entrepreneur! A businessman! And I've been here long enough to make connections!

[Hang on a second, he's texting someone.]

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

No, it's givin' people a WARNING to what you're up to! I didn't forget what you stand for and I'm going to knock you down!

[ what lawyer he got, she wants to see them. ]

Let's do it baby, I know the law!

[VIDEO] 1/2

[reneggadetinkerer]

Fine! Then we'll add harassment to the list of—

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

NUH-UH! IT'S CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH. I KNOW MY AMENDABLES.

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Did Starline leave you in the pod too long?? I knew he was a failure but one would imagine that he'd at least give you a halfway decent vocabulary!

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

HE SUCKS AND MY GRAMMAR IS GOOD! I DUMB IT DOWN FOR DUMMIES LIKE YOU.

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Spell 'Disestablishmentarianism.'

[VIDEO] 1/3

[tenrectricity]

FINE! YOU'RE GUNNA EAT YOUR WORDS!

[VIDEO] 2/3

[tenrectricity]

Drippy, spell whatever it is he said.

[VIDEO] 3/3

[kitsunami]

Yes Ma'am!

[ give him a second. ]

D-I-S-E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-M-E-N-T-A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oho! I like the way you boss your lessers around! Maybe Starline didn't waste all of your potential!

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

[ ugh, don't give that guy any credit. ]

Starline wasted everything because he's dead and doesn't have us at all. Keep that in mind. He's the one who ran out of time.

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh yes, I was there. In fact, I would say I was rather instrumental in the poor quack's fate.

You might even say that you owe me.

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

What!?

[ call his bluff, there's no way he did anything. to be so confident to say it aloud where people can hear!?

...it's hard to take this seriously with whatever that is playing in the background.

her brow twitches at the lack of seriousness there is as she slams her hands down on espio's quaint table. ]

What are you trying to say!?

[ never gunna give you up ♪ never gunna let you down ♪ ]

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

I'm saying that I freed you.

If it weren't for my showdown with Starline, you wouldn't be where you are right now.

Do you believe Sonic has the quills to permanently take Starline off the board? If it were up to him, you'd still be under his pointy little shoe heel.

You're welcome, by the way.

[VIDEO] 2/2

[reneggadetinkerer]

I KNOW YOU SAW THAT MESSAGE YOU LITTLE TURBINE-TAILED TWIT!! NO ONE LEAVES ME ON READ!!!

[VIDEO]

[tenrectricity]

OH SO YOUR SELL OUT SOLD YOU OUT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HE LOVES TO DO!!!!!!!!!!! COWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Hold on, would you? I have something far more important than you to deal with.

[Currently sending Tails the equivalent of that awful frog ringtone in a message that auto-opens.]

[ON THE OTHER END]

[playertwotailed]

[Please, a trojan? What decade is this from, doc?

Speaking of decades... huh, that's weird. Is Surge playing some very catchy beats over at Espio's place? Because it's getting harder and harder to hear her! Until it becomes clear that Eggman's phone is playing audio from a different source...]

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

Oh what is this, amateur hour? You didn't even pick a good version!

Behold, the superior version!

[Anything that has a speaker in Tails' place is going to start playing this version. And if it has a screen? You better believe that it's Cubot singing. Eggman made this because he thought it was cute funny and good for leverage.]

[STILL ON THE OTHER END]

[playertwotailed]

[Eggman's shellphone locks itself. Hm, weird! At least the camera's still going, so other people can see what he's doing. And when he goes to unlock it...

He'll find that there's now a fun and not-at-all frustrating minigame waiting for him. He just has to beat to get in!]

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

What is this? Leave it to a child to design such 16-bit bile. I was completing games like this before I debugged my first doomsday protocol.

[Once he's in he begins furiously tapping away.]

Let me show you a real game.

[Tails' device will softlock, forcing a reboot. When it does, well, there's a cg-i animation of a fridge opening. A fridge full of eggs, each with letters and symbols on them.]

[All Tails has to do is decode the message to regain access!]

[STILL ON THE OTHER END]

[playertwotailed]

[Oh, this is a new low. This is evil, right down there with the Barrel of Doom in terms of Eggman's least fun plots. Ugh.

Fine. Eggman's getting a message. Followed by another. And another.]


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[And no, replying 'cancel' does not actually do anything.]

[VIDEO]

[reneggadetinkerer]

[Okay, his EggDHD is kicking in because he's hyperfocusing on torturing Surge.]

[He'll just set up a proxy number and forward these Fox Facts to a new recipient.]

[There's always unforeseen casualties in war, Tails. Remember that.]