shellphones | Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

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Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

Type: Video
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book2thehead (Shikanoin Heizou)
To: General Public
Subject: Drunk Detectives Dunk On Dumb Delusions
Warnings: beware of alcohol, kids

[It's that once in a blue moon time where Heizou makes a public appearance on the network. And it becomes quite clear why once the feed comes on: his face is quite pink and he has a big cheeky grin on his face and a bottle of wine in the hand that isn't holding the camera. So... Yeah, he appears to be drunk.

He also appears to be outside somewhere, despite how late it is. And he is also not alone! Beside him there appears to be one (1) Sherlock Holmes, currently laying down on his seat with his feet up in the air and his head dangling over the edge. He is also attempting to play his violin from this position, for.... some reason. Science? Science.

Either way, the video feed turns on to the sound of Heizou giggling and Sherlock's violin playing. And Heizou trying to figure out what position he needs to be sitting in to send out his Very Important Message. He finds it eventually, with the shellphone angled so that both he and Sherlock are in frame - or at least Sherlock's feet are - and he addresses his invisible audience with an even bigger grin.]

Ah-- Here! Helloooo one and all~! Your friendly local detective agency has decided to take on the mysteeeerious case of.... Sailor superstitions~! That is right my dear rift-jumping fellows, we've even decided to do this one pro bono! That means freeeee~

[There's a moment of fumbling the camera, and once it settles Heizou is holding the camera out at arm's length to reveal where he and Sherlock are: what appears to be a fake boat, crudely built and sitting on land (so to speak) like a playground for children. Did they find this? Did they drunkenly grab chairs and tables and bits of wood to build it themselves? Who knows. But it sure is... vaguely boat-shaped.]

Now as you can see here, the great Mr. Sherlock Holmes and yours truly are currently on board a boat! And as you can also see- [He tilts his head down slightly so that the camera gets a better angle on all his burgundy-colored hair.] -my hair is quite red! But have we run into any bad luck on our voyage? Nooope~! Aaaand POOF! Myth busted!

[At this point Sherlock chimes in drunkenly from off-screen:]

Heizou, did we test all the ways to swirl the alcohol? Did we forget one? [Since obviously up and down is an option-] The taste didn't change at all!

[Someone should... probably stop them. Or maybe join them! Decisions, decisions...]

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...If you want me to.

[Because as much as Freminet wants to go and keep his not brother in law safe, he won't go unless he said something.]

I want you to!

[Spending time with Fremi! How fun!]

You don't mind that Sherlock's here too, right?

If you say so...

[Was he going to regret this? He didn't know. But still, he gave a sigh.]

But I don't mind. I'll be there shortly...

[And with that, off he went! Looking around, he wanted to see where they were and that they were okay...]

Um...Heizou? Mr. Sherlock?

[Freminet will find that they have taken up housing on what basically appears to be a children's playground made to look like a ship. The angles from the shellphone camera may have made it look like their seat was quite a ways off the ground, but in actuality it's only elevated by a few steps. There's even a protective railing around the area where a ship wheel can be seen.

It's up there that Heizou and Sherlock can be found, on chairs that they have clearly brought over for their own comfort (or something). They're still discussing silly superstitions, Heizou being quite giggly about the whole thing. He also keeps making little glowy bursts of air pop up around them, just for fun.

He also perks up when he hears Freminet's voice, sitting up more in his chair and waving with a bright grin.]

Fremiiiii~ Over here!

[Meanwhile, all Freminet could do was give a sigh. He didn't really know what Heizou and Sherlock were up to but he just knew he had to keep his brother's boyfriend and friend safe. What a place to be in.

As he walked closer to Heizou and Sherlock, he just looked at them with worry.]

Hello, um...what are you two doing? Do you need some water or something to eat?

[And you know. To not be so drunk!]

Hello Freminet. We are still testing superstitions and proving them wrong. Did you want to help with some?

[ If he says it enough, maybe people will understand the important work they are doing that is not just Heizou keeping Sherlock company and busy to distract from sad thoughts. Sherlock finally uprights himself and starts flipping pages of his casebook for the list he and Heizou had devised while sober.

Maybe they should have saved the alcohol ones for last, but that is too late now. ]

There's the one about always needing to step on a ship with your right foot. There's also one about whistling.

[Heizou sways a little in his seat, as though to some tune only he can hear in his head. But it's also clear that he's immensely pleased to see that Freminet has joined them.]

Maybe you can do both! Make sure to plant your left foot when you step onto our chip while whistling loudly. If there's bad luck to be had from either, surely the effect will be unmistakable when performing them at the same time!

[Was he going to regret this? He didn't know but he just found himself hoping this was the right choice. He just had to find a way to make sure they weren't hurt all the while testing whatever they were doing. Looking at his right food, he stared at the both of them before giving a sigh.]

If you say so but...I hope they really aren't true.

[And with that, he stepped onto the ship with his right foot before stepping in with the other and trying to whistle. Granted, he can't do it too loudly but....!]

[ And absolutely nothing happens when Freminet steps on board. No phantom or ghost attacks. No sudden stroke of bad luck. Nothing. (Let's be real. Any potential spirit is probably enjoying the show of the two detectives lost in spirits to cause any harm or even mischief.) ]

That is why we are conducting these tests. The MANTA Board post served as a warning, but we aim to do the opposite. To prove that all these superstitions will do nothing and put those fears at ease.

[ Also to make sure that Heizou can get on a ship if needed and serve as a distraction for a sad Sherlock. Details. ]

[Heizou practically cheers, obviously pleased, as Freminet crosses the threshold and fully "boards" their "ship."]

Exactly~! Now- How do you feel, Fremi-chan? Are you suddenly feeling as though you may be struck by lightning?

[He would hop down from where he's perched to join Freminet where he's standing, but the best he can manage is to stop with his swaying. Give him a second. Maybe he'll find his sea legs soon enough.]

No, not really?

[But that made him stop in his tracks. While he might not feel anything, it doesn't stop him from feeling a sense of dread. Almost as if he was psyching himself out into thinking something would happen.]

....But I'm worried that I might be struck by one soon.

[ Sherlock starts to scribble down notes in his casebook, checking his pocket watch for the time and noting that down too. Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down. ]

I shall write that down, but given your usual disposition, I am not certain that is caused by the superstitions or you.

[ Teason the Tea Time Companion with his little pirate hat will gently bump into Freminet's ankle. Please remember to hydrate. ]

[Heizou leans over to peer at Sherlock's notes from over his shoulder, stifling another drunk giggle by biting down on his lip.]

Just try to relax, Fremi~ Nothing bad is gonna happen to you on our watch! These sailor's superstitions are all nonsense, after all.

Even so...

[He said with his head sinking further into his shoulders.]

I just hope I didn't convince myself that these superstitions are real.

You were here last year. None of these superstitions were making the news then, and while much as happened since now and then, I can think of nothing that would influence how one steps on a ship or hair color or bananas for this month only.

[ The conviction of which Sherlock says this is perhaps ruined by the redness in his cheeks from the singular glass of alcohol he has consumed. ]

[Heizou nods along sagely with what Sherlock says, sort of trying to look serious and convincing but definitely not succeeding when his cheeks are pink and he's struggling to stand from his seat. Time to get closer to Freminet so he can give him a comforting pat on the head!]

And that's exactly why we're doing this! One's anxiety should not be used to strengthen one's belief in any superstitions~

I'm not sure if that makes things better.

[Even now, he wasn't sure if he should take another step forward. All he could do was stand there as Heizou patted his head. He knew superstitions were probably fake, the idea of it was making him nervous.]

.... I'm just here to make sure you two are safe.

[ Sherlock puts a hand to his chin to think. Freminet is really anxious about this. Regardless of the superstition, they aren't going to get good data like this.

Maybe it is for the best, for Freminet's sake. ]

Perhaps you can sit on the railing then. You will not be fully on the boat, and I didn't hear any superstition about railings. Did you, Heizou?

[Heizou is enjoying giving Freminet head pats. He has soft floofy hair and it's fun to pat.

He does spare a second to flash a grin of approval at Sherlock and shrug one shoulder.]

None that I can remember!

[So he turns to Freminet with another friendly pat.]

You'll be nice and safe here on the rail, whatever happens. And you'll still be close enough for us to chat! That'll be nice, right~?

[At this point, he was just too embarrassed and lets Heizou continue patting his head.]

I suppose so. But you two will be safe, right? And that nothing bad will happen to you two?

Nothing has happened so far, and even if it did, I've died multiple times, so I will be fine. Let me handle the worse of it.

[ Sherlock, stop saying things like that so nonchalantly. You are worrying people more, not setting them at ease! ]

[Heizou will absolutely be the one to nudge Sherlock with his elbow, shushing him loudly.]

Sherry! You're gonna scare my cute little brother by bringing that up!

[He's still a bit too drunk for that to sound like a more serious scolding. And it probably doesn't help that he immediately switches from patting Freminet's head to pulling him into what's meant to be a comforting hug.]

Don't mind him, Fremi-chan~ Everything'll be just fine. All these silly superstitions are silly and that's that.

Heizou, you're squishing me...!

[All the while he said as he was hugged and flailed a bit!]

But I sure hope so. I don't want us to get into trouble. Especially with how intoxicated you two are.

"Little brother"?

[ Sherlock pauses, the silence heavy. For Heizou to call Freminet his little brother...

He then sputters and nearly yells in half surprise, half affront, ]

When did you and Lyney get married?! Why wasn't I invited? Was it because I'd cause a murder to happen?

[Fortunately, Heizou is too drunk to be flustered. He simply laughs the misunderstanding off, all while continuing to hold onto Freminet like he's a precious baby. ...And also not at all minding the way Freminet protests to it.]

Oh no-no-no, my dear Sherlock! We're not married, there's been no wedding~ [Yet.] But that doesn't mean Fremi-chan can't still be my little brother!

[At which point he finally turns to Freminet with a bright, happy smile.] Right~?

Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

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sorry, not sorry

>8D

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