Ranma Saotome (乱馬) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
catsgothistongue) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2024-03-17 12:46 pm
catsgothistongue) wrote in shellphones2024-03-17 12:46 pm
Entry tags:
Video || A Crabulous Query
Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy
[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]
Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!
[Ranma no.]
Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy
[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]
Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!
[Ranma no.]
Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]
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Anyone with dendro can react to make bloom cores. I'm just the only one who seems to be able to heal from them.
[Kaveh that's terrifying. But he blinks a little. Fremi...] Freminet?
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[They're even green like grenades!]
Yep, that's him. You know him?
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[You've been nice to the baby, right, Ranma?]
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[Yes?]
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[There are alarm bells going off in Kaveh's head.] Ranma, what kind of training did you do?
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Just the usual training?
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People on Teyvat cannot use ki to heal their own injuries and usually do not start combat training before they can walk.
Was this the usual training by those standards or by yours?
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Yyyyyes? [That was drawled on a lot longer than what he meant to with a sheepish smile, before holding his hands up defensively.]
Look, I didn't make him to anything insane! If I threw him at the heavy hitting stuff, he wouldn't survive. It's just the basic stuff, like hitting, punching, footing, all that.
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[Why is Kaveh smiling. Oh no. Oh no.]
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Yes? I mean after I healed him back to perfect health...
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[He hasn't stopped smiling. His tone hasn't changed. There is a distinct sensation of facing down a
lionsome other apex predator.]Tell me exactly what happened.
[This is not a request.]
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Well you see, what happened was...
[Ranma stood on his tiptoes to look over Kaveh's shoulder, his face contorting in confusing.]
... Did your roomie leave his fish statue outside on that giant plant? Weird...
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[Mehrak has now also turned to face him.
Oh also a plant vine wrapped around his ankle and just yanked him into the air to dangle from the oversized sumeru rose.]
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[HE IS NOW STRUGGLING AND DANGLING FROM THE AIR, TRYING TO YANK HIS FOOT FREE.]
N-NO SERIOUSLY, HIS FISH IS ON THAT TREE! JUST TURN AROUND AND GRAB IT BEFORE HE GETS UPSET!
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If you are going to lie to distract me, you'd have to pick something plausible.
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Okay, okay! It was an accident!
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[Your life may depend on the answer to this.]
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[KAVEH YOU WERE THE ONE WHO HEALED HIM, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HAVE WASTE A BLOOM CORE?]
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If you want me to keep this quiet from his older brother, who will shoot you and likely set you on fire, you will promise me two things right now.
First, your priority is to protect Freminet from harm over training him. Second, your homework is to research how people in other worlds conduct their training. Use that information to refine your approach to Freminet, and keep in mind you are uncommonly durable.
Am I clear?
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[Wait no, he should probably actually try pleading his case.]
It wasn't like I meant to actually hurt the kid! He froze my fist. My art is to use any and everything to my advantage and adapt. I thought it made a good club that I could hit him with! [Ooooooh yeah, even to someone as social daft as him, that didn't sound good out loud the second it left his mouth.] I just made a mistake, I regret it, and I tried fixing it. I'm sorry, I really am. But if it makes you feel any better to try putting me in a body bag or tell his brother so he can come after my head, then go ahead and do it.
[Honestly, Kaveh's earlier ultimatum is a lot more lenient than what usually happens when people are pissed at him.]
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[shaking the vines a little bit.]
I am telling you, as a man, to put in the time and work into improving yourself so you don't have these kind of regrets. Mistakes like these can be made up for, and you can. You already started to, so follow through.
...But there are mistakes you can never undo. It's important, right now, to learn all you can from the ones you can.
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... Okay.
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Alright.
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Thanks for the healing. I'll go throw these away. [He picked up the makeshift sling and the bloodied bandages off the ground.] Guessing I can't throw these away in your guys' trash?
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[What a weird thing to say?] Trashcan's in the kitchen. Alhaitham's probably still asleep, so he won't give you any grief.
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