Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

[fatalism]

i think that is a terrible idea.

[catsgothistongue]

[Fyodor could see the teen harrumph and hang his head back.]

Can't people take a joke? Do you think I'm actually going to go purposely piss off the crab guy? No, only an idiot would do that.

[... Now accidentally, that's not off the table just yet.]

[fatalism]

i would hope not but i have seen people do very, very very stupid things.

[ admittedly, "accidentally" would be pretty amusing. ]

[catsgothistongue]

So have I. More than I'd like to have. [He could list off just about ten things from his father alone.] But I'm smarter than that!

[Anyone would be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Knowing his luck... Yeah, people might want to keep away from him just in the case the crabs actually try going after him.]

Though if it did, I could probably take it. [... Certainly not helping people think otherwise of him.]

[fatalism]

...i'm not sure we want to test that. but i am happy to play referee if it comes to that.

[ fyodor, cracking a joke? more likely than you think ]

[catsgothistongue]

Hey, if you feel like you can get up close enough without getting maimed, I won't stop you.

[See that joke? It's going right over Ranma's head.]

[fatalism]

oh no, i can referee from a safe enough distance. after all, it should be no match for you, yes?

[ lmao ]

[catsgothistongue]

Yeah, that's probably for the best for you. You look like you'll crumple over if someone blows on you too hard. [Plus they've got a camera system. That makes good protection.] Of course! I've dealt with worse than a giant crab! I can take it on, no problem!

[He says (at this moment) currently dealing with a broken arm in a sling around his shoulder.]

[fatalism]

[ oh my god this teenager is gonna get himself killed and fyodor isn't sure he's ready to be held accountable for encouraging Bad Things. not yet. ]

yes, i am an individual of unfortunately delicate constitution.

but can you really do this with just one arm?

[catsgothistongue]

[Hey, Ranma's the one who got himself into it. So... No teenager blood on Fyodor's hands today?]

This? This is nothing! I'll do it with one leg intact if I gotta!

[fatalism]

alright, when you inevitably have another broken limb, who should i contact?

[catsgothistongue]

[Kaveh.]

I don't know, why would you contact anyone?

[fatalism]

because my medical skills are basic.

[catsgothistongue]

Relax, I know how to treat myself. Who do you think got this taken care of? [Sure he had some help with it but he feels he did most of the work!] Plus I'm a fast healer? This? [He nodded to his broken arm.] It'll heal in four days.

[fatalism]

is that an ability you have? fast healing?

since none of the treatments i've looked at here seem to be miracle style cures.

[catsgothistongue]

Pretty much.

[He's walked off brutalities that would've rendered any other person's bones to saw dust.]

[fatalism]

allow me to be jealous for a moment.



alright

now, go on, fight the crab.

[catsgothistongue]

I'm only gonna fight it if it challenges me or if I have a reason to.

[He was only half serious about actually wanting to fight and or eat it.]

[fatalism]

well now i'll have to live with this disappointment