Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

video.

[verboaten]

Could be a good meal, hypothetically, but just as hypothetically, it might make them and their leviathan make a meal out of you instead. All up to you if you really want to take that hypothetical risk for a couple crab legs.

[in other words, eizen's not actually saying DON'T but just if you do, you gotta be ready to accept consequences.]

CW to be safe: Small mention of animal death

[catsgothistongue]

[... You know, this is the most endorsement of his hypothetical he's gotten yet. You're already better than the last few people Eizen.]

I mean... [Oh gods, he's actually considering it now. But then he quickly shook his head.] Nah, it wouldn't be worth it. You'd need something big enough to even cook just the leg in. Not to mention the fact that you've gotta cook crab almost immediately after killing one or cook them alive, cause bacteria'd quickly break down the meats and pose a health risk or even death if someone ate it.

[That's the only reason why he's not planning on going through with it, and not the reason of 'being the size of a shrimp to the goliath of a crab'.]

[verboaten]

[eizen is more than happy to be the supportive big bro type. if someone wants to do something, let them make their own choice. if someone wants to try to fry up this leviathan for some crab legs, power to them. eizen'd actually be impressed if they tried.]

That just about sums things up. Even if there's some challenge to it, all the little parts that go with along it just make this more of a pain in the ass than a meal worth savoring. You're better off making a meal out of something you can properly preserve and season it to perfection instead.

[catsgothistongue]

[Eizen is quickly becoming his favorite person here. Because he believes in his dreams!]

Yeah, you're right. [Ironic that the one that wasn't immediately opposed to the idea is the one he buckled down on the quickest.] Crab doesn't even taste all that good anyway.

[verboaten]

[chase those dreams, ranma! eizen will not stop you from following them! ...for better or worse.]

I can’t argue with you there. Crab might not be the worst meal, but even the best crab can’t hold a candle to a moderately decent steak.

[nothing against crab, but there's nothing it can do to stand up to an opponent like good steak.]

[catsgothistongue]

[You won't regret this. Yes you will what have you done eizen?]

Eh, I'm not partial to either one, both are pretty good.

[Being picky and stubborn with what you eat doesn't help you survive in the wilderness.]

[verboaten]

[be the best big bro type ever, that's what.]

That just sounds like you've never had a top-class steak before. You get yourself the best cut of meat, prep and cook it with some high quality utensils and you'll find yourself with a meal worth savoring.

[but it's not an easy meal to come by and eizen knows as much. honestly, one can call it more of an event as opposed to a mere meal. on the rare chance that one can come across that level of meat, however, it hits the spot like little else.]

[catsgothistongue]

[The martial artist gave a shrug and relaxed back in the sand he was in.]

In my defense, that stuff's usually super expensive and pricy that only rich folk can afford. Last time I was able to eat something of that class, I was basically in a glorified eating contest. But I'm pretty sure I'll live without this fabled 'top-class steak'.

[verboaten]

Who said any thing about being rich? There's ways to get your hands on good quality stuff without hurting your own wallet.

[in other words, by using less than wholesome ways. eizen isn't the best influence.]

[catsgothistongue]

... So by stealing?

[Cause to be honest Eizen, you're sounding like his old man right now.]

[verboaten]

Stealing's one option, sure. There's also making deals and knowing the right people. You want good quality meat, find the people who can make that happen and figure out how.

[...he is really suggesting blackmarket deals for wagyu level steak.]