Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

[telepathicignorance]

So can fighting, extreme sports, some non extreme sports...

(All things that kids do, are allowed to do, and occasionally even encouraged to do?

Consider: Ranma might have honor but someone who doesn't might kill him!

Humans are weird about what they restrict, is what they're saying.)

[catsgothistongue]

Yeah, but unlike those stuff, that's on the outside. Alcohol's basically poison you're ingesting inside you. Broken bones are a lot easier to deal with than having to go through dialysis.

[So basically everyone Ranma's fought back home?]

[telepathicignorance]

And I'd rather be on dialysis than have a TBI.

(Should a kid really be fighting to the death?

Of course, they're also thinking of their world, where boosted heroes younger than drinking age aren't uncommon, despite the drugs involved killing most of the people who take them. And then those kids go on to become slaves to the government or corporate greed.)

[catsgothistongue]

To be fair, when's the last time a little head trauma's killed anyone? [Ranma.

He does it all the time! It's fine! Nothing gets the blood pumping than having someone try to turn you into a red paste all over the ground!'

Lesson of the day: don't do drugs kids.]

[telepathicignorance]

It's one of the two most common causes of immediate death.

(This kid has a really screwed up perception of things.)

[catsgothistongue]

... Oh, right. [Did he seriously forget that not everyone's super durable like most martial artists of his caliber?? Yes he did.] Well... it's never killed me or anyone I know from back home!

[That's what you get when you've been conditioned to have violence towards you be treated as if it's an everyday occurrence.]

CW: momentary suicidal ideation

[telepathicignorance]

Pretty sure that's called survivorship bias.

(Not even going to get into how surviving a TBI is only sometimes a happy outcome.

Does a psychic scar count as a TBI? Because they'd be better off dead after Heartbreak.)

[catsgothistongue]

Agree to disagree. [Not what that means Ranma.] The point I'm trying to make here is...

[...]

Uh, what were we discussing again?

[telepathicignorance]

That's a funny way of saying you refuse to listen to reason.

(Seriously kid. They know this guy's got enhanced durability--it sounds like it might be typical in his world--but that doesn't make this stuff harmless!)

Crab intelligence.

[catsgothistongue]

>:/ I'm not actually going to try attacking the crabs here. It was just a passing thought.

[Can't you tell he's just so great at thinking?]

[telepathicignorance]

You don't have much of a filter, do you?

(Just blurting out his thoughts like that. They weren't planning to tell anyone their secrets anyway, but he definitely doesn't seem like someone who could keep one.)

[catsgothistongue]

I guess? Why do you ask?

[Excuse you, he can keep a secret when he wants to! Circumstances simply conspire against him that they end up revealed anyway!]

[telepathicignorance]

No reason. You just seem really bad not saying things.

[catsgothistongue]

>:/ I am good at saying things, so guess you're not entirely wrong. :P

[telepathicignorance]

What's that saying? "It's better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubts."?

[catsgothistongue]

Never heard of that one before, so I don't see your point.

[telepathicignorance]

The point is you talk like an idiot.

[catsgothistongue]

Screw you too.

[telepathicignorance]

You're like half my age, kid. Gross.

(They are deliberately being an ass now.)

[catsgothistongue]

[They might be joking, but Ranma's not laughing. His face scrunched up with annoyance.]

I'm not into guys anyway, so I'm oh-so heartbroken about it.

[Two can be a sarcastic ass.]

[telepathicignorance]

(...)

I'm not a guy.

[catsgothistongue]

[...]

Eh?

[telepathicignorance]

You've already proven that you can read.

(Since Sidestep refuses to send anything but texts.)

[catsgothistongue]

[Smartmouthed asshole...]

... You're a girl?

[telepathicignorance]

(You know, they figured of all people this guy might be quick on the uptake.)

Not one of those, either.

(They are kind of scrawny and have a high pitched voice for a dude despite lacking the chest features you'd usually expect on a girl.)