2 Jokes 4 the price of 1

[bountyfull]

Type: Video
Sender ID: bountyfull
To: general public
Subject: Two Things
Warnings: It's dad jokes.


[ Haha, helloooo! He waves with one han—the metal one— since the other is holding his shellphone. It's pretty novel, this kind of technology. He seems fairly adept at it if the way he's framed himself in the video is any indication. ]

I heard some pretty good jokes the other day [ DID YOU, VASH? ] so I wanted to share them.

[ He clears his throat with a laugh, his head tilting slightly. ]

What would bears be without bees?

[ There's a pause as he leans in to the camera to whisper: ]

Ears.

[ He does his absolute level best (not really) not to laugh, which is unsuccessful. Once he calms down he grins in a way that makes his nose wrinkle ]

One more!

The other day a guy hit me with a bottle of milk!

[ Another Pause... ]

How dairy?!

[ He needs to be stopped. ]

Comments

[empyrean_mirror]

I get there's an argument that you've been wronged by being brought here, but none of the rest of us riftfarers have done anything to deserve thi--

[Visibly pausing. Thinking that over. Well, okay, but.]

I've never done anything to deserve this.

[bountyfull]

[ He does not even slightly feel bad. ]

Haha, really not a fan, huh? That's too bad, they're pretty funny.

Laughing does a lot of good for you too, you know.

[empyrean_mirror]

A sense of humor like this should never be suffered sober.

[YOU OWE HIM A DRINK OR THREE SIR.

Except not because the last time he got drunk .........well.]

[bountyfull]

I probably wouldn't be able to tell them with a straight face if I was drunk, but it's been a while.

[ Don't be a wet blanket Kaveh you're supposed to be like idiot blond brothers with him or something. ]

[empyrean_mirror]

[Excuse you he is a very dry blanket and a genius how dare you--]

Why would you need to tell jokes with a straight face to begin with?

[bountyfull]

[ You're KINDA DAMP, my guy. ]

It'd ruin the joke if I'm too busy laughing to tell it, wouldn't it?

[empyrean_mirror]

[DRY AS A BONE, HMPH!!!!]

I think it could only be an improvement.

[Because these jokes suck, dude.]

[bountyfull]

[ So judgemental... ]

Haha, okay okay. I get it. If you want drinks we can definitely talk about something else while we do it.

[empyrean_mirror]

Well if you're offering...

[You see how this man immediately brightened up? Yeah, he's an alcoholic.]

[bountyfull]

Haha well, we might have to pay our own tabs. I only just got here so.....

[ Two alcoholics walk into a bar...

Does it count as alcoholism if it's just your biology that gives you irresponsibly high tolerance? ]

[empyrean_mirror]

Oh, no need to worry about that, hahaha. I've been here a while, I can open a tab, it's fine~!

[He can absolutely pay for their drinks.

If he's not too drunk to remember how money works.]