2 Jokes 4 the price of 1

[bountyfull]

Type: Video
Sender ID: bountyfull
To: general public
Subject: Two Things
Warnings: It's dad jokes.


[ Haha, helloooo! He waves with one han—the metal one— since the other is holding his shellphone. It's pretty novel, this kind of technology. He seems fairly adept at it if the way he's framed himself in the video is any indication. ]

I heard some pretty good jokes the other day [ DID YOU, VASH? ] so I wanted to share them.

[ He clears his throat with a laugh, his head tilting slightly. ]

What would bears be without bees?

[ There's a pause as he leans in to the camera to whisper: ]

Ears.

[ He does his absolute level best (not really) not to laugh, which is unsuccessful. Once he calms down he grins in a way that makes his nose wrinkle ]

One more!

The other day a guy hit me with a bottle of milk!

[ Another Pause... ]

How dairy?!

[ He needs to be stopped. ]

Comments

video; un: stillarhino; 1/4

[stillarhino]

[Beat stares back at the shellphone screen, brows knit together.]

[stillarhino]

video; un: paradisea

[empyrean_mirror]

[It's like he can feel it, the spirit of Cyno, coming here to possess some poor man and haunt him. What has Kaveh done to deserve this?

Aside from all the felonies, Mehrak doesn't even COUNT.]

Why.

[Why would you do this.]

[stillarhino]

done

[stillarhino]

I don't get it.

WHEEZES

[bountyfull]

[ Oh. Uhhhh. ]

Haha, not at all? What part's the confusing part?

[bountyfull]

[ a disturbance in the force, if you will. ]

Why not?

[ He says this with a grin. He knows what he's doing. ]

video | sender id: netherese

[netherese]

[Suddenly, Gale feels keenly aware of how his companions back home must feel when he says such things.]

Well... for a given definition of 'good,' I suppose. Passable, at the very least!

[He clears his throat, his initial grimace giving way to show that he's fighting the urge to smile. Gods, he hates that he thinks these are funny.]

video!! un: professor

[lecturer]

[ MY FIRST NETWORK REPLY sometimes a joke is funny enough that you work the little shellphone so the person telling it can hear you laughing! it's 100% genuine!! ]

Oh! Very good. A spot of wordplay, is it...? [ putting his hand to his chin, cyrus delivers with flair: ]

Have you ever heard the one about the broken quill? I do believe it may be pointless.

[stillarhino]

What's bears got to do with bees becoming ears?

[Yep.]

An' yeah milk's dairy. Ain't no joke there.

[Yep.]

voice; un: makoglow

[makoglow]

Tell me your location.

I just want to have a talk.

[empyrean_mirror]

I get there's an argument that you've been wronged by being brought here, but none of the rest of us riftfarers have done anything to deserve thi--

[Visibly pausing. Thinking that over. Well, okay, but.]

I've never done anything to deserve this.

[bountyfull]

[ Oh... Oooooohhh.... ]

Well, you could try saying them out loud to yourself. It's a play on words?

[ HE said them out loud so maybe this isn't helpful advice. ]

But uh, you know. [ He makes motions with his free hand as he says the words again. ]Dairy... DAIREE... Dare he?

[bountyfull]

[ The way Vash leans in a little to peek closer at the camera, and the way he's still grinning like an idiot proooobably means he's caught the way that grimace is faltering. ]

C'mon, don't tell me you don't have any jokes of your own to share!

[bountyfull]

Mmmm...

No thanks!

[ uh oh. ]

text; un: vulturvolans

[indispensable]

[Alhaitham normally does not have any real opinion on puns. They kind of exist, and Cyno likes making them more than one should be feasibly allowed to.

But right now he's seeing Kaveh grimacing in real time and he's always up for causing more pain in his husband's life.]

7/10 for the first joke. It requires a rudimentary understanding of spelling, and would translate better in a textual form instead of a verbal one.

8/10 for the second. It works better as a verbal punchline like you did, but enunciation is key. It will be easy to overlook otherwise.

[He's texting because he's in the same room with Kaveh right now and obviously speaking will just give the game away.]

[bountyfull]

[ Oh. FINALLY. ]

Haha, that one's pretty good!

[ But see, now it's either a competition, or bonding. ]

Hmmm... You know what has more lives than a cat? A frog, because he croaks every day!

1/4 I'm sorry

[stillarhino]

[You know what? He's going to take that advice.]

Dairy?

[stillarhino]

Daaair-he.

[Almost there.]

[makoglow]

A completely innocent and non-violent conversation.

[stillarhino]

DARE HE!

done

[stillarhino]

[...]

What the hell? That's a lame-ass joke, yo.

video; un: nutsornothing

[nutsornothing]

[You see this Vash? This is Denji leaning very closely towards the feed of his shellphone squinting before the tip of his tongue extends out his mouth making a fart sound emanate aloud.]

Dude...Those were so LAME.

[Sorry Vash you're going to have to do better than that to amuse this unhinged teenager.]

video;

[activatingcombatmode]

[Well, have a clip of Zack busting a lung laughing!!]

Looks like you've got some legendary jokes, man!

[bountyfull]

[ He does not even slightly feel bad. ]

Haha, really not a fan, huh? That's too bad, they're pretty funny.

Laughing does a lot of good for you too, you know.