forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
headhunt: (clii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-05 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
hey fairy hair
you want her to be comfortable or not?
headhunt: (clvii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-05 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
good boy.

so when's the housewarming party
headhunt: (liii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-05 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
WHAT

( that's the most insane thing she's read so far. )

OH MAN
YOU'VE GOT TO

you gotta start the place off with TONS of good energy
headhunt: (lxii ↪)

1/2

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
( while karlach has been able to put two and two together about the fact that darin hasn't had friends, having him say it so plainly makes her chest ache. even just written.

she takes a second, turning her shellphone over in her hands before she replies. )
headhunt: (cli ↪)

2/2

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
it's the dawn of a new day, blueberry!

and that's worth celebrating too! we can get a ton of beer and meat to grill!
headhunt: (cxxx ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
i'm sure she will!

i can bring over some of the extra furniture from our place
we've changed some of it since we've been here

others can probably help get you started too!
headhunt: (liv ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
i live with my wizard, gale

we've got our own island
you should come visit sometime
headhunt: (clix ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
i didn't tell you?

( no, she sure didn't. she's been too busy being nosy about darin. )

i got my own magic man
he's smart
he's handsome
and he cooks me meat
headhunt: (cxlii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
( she has no restraint— )

that's not the only meat of his i'm interested in

i'll bring him to your housewarming! you'll like him
headhunt: (clxv ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-07 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
oh you flatterer!!

but you're fucking right i do!!

we've got a couple cats too. but don't call them that.
headhunt: (cxxii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-07 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
the one with wings is the little lady of the house
she's a tressym and her name is tara

the others are warriors. dame footloose and dame bramblesong.
headhunt: (xlvi ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-15 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
cats are good at that

make him a tower!! cats love to climb


( pumpkinpatch, huh? she remembers that particular warrior cat and it warms her to know that he's in good care. )