Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

video; un:catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

So you two are sleeping together, huh? And you didn't have to be at death's doorstep this time to do so?

[Whistles with a teasing/impressed look on his face. "Nothing with having the hots for her", his ass!]

Anything can be a bed if you're tired enough to sleep on it.

[Yes, that goes for the parachute too.]

video; un: paradisea

[empyrean_mirror]

...I mean, a hammock can be a bed, I think a lot of the people in Ghandarva Ville use modified hammocks. But they also live in trees.

You are gonna want something a little more solid. Your spine will thank you when you're thirty.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE HAS HER OWN BED, RANMA

[This is not a tacit denial of the accusation.]

And see? You get it! Every single one of these objects fits the bed spectrum!

text; onebullet

[onebullet]

Can you get double hammocks?

voice;

[desirestruth]

...I sleep in a tree burrow.

[Get on her level, Darin.]

So you're living with the little Lady?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I've been sleeping in a hammock since I was eight, I think? And I'm twenty for now so I think I'll be okay.

Honestly, the beds in those apartments were way worse.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Why would I need two?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I mean, as long as you're comfortable. Isn't that the point?

...Oh. Uh...yeah? Yeah we're...

Yeah.

[empyrean_mirror]

[Oh, the folly of youth...]

...I promise you, you won't be in about ten years.

[Kaveh sighs, and shakes his head.] I can't argue about the provided beds. But it shouldn't be too hard to get a bed commissioned that suits your needs. In this case, I'm betting you'll want a very soft mattress instead of something too firm.

[onebullet]

No, one hammock for two people.

[catsgothistongue]

Yes, the bed she owns, that I dragged your unconscious butt to after we fought Ganondick?~

[:P]

When you've been walking all over the place for as long as I have, you gotta take wherever you can get some shuteye as it comes.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I mean, I've never been too picky about that sort of thing? I can sleep pretty much anywhere.

Pretty sure I've slept on an anvil once or twice.

no one saw me break continuity

[desirestruth]

Huh. Well then you should get a bed you're both comfortable in, not just you.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh no that one was ruined. [Because he bled all over it. Not some other way.]

I bought her a new one to make up for it.

Honestly, I get so focused at work I tend to sleep where I drop.

voice;

[thearchangel]

... What's wrong with a hammock?

I keep meaning to get one - they look a lot easier to sleep in.

[No, Garrus you're just built like an avocado on toothpicks.]

[empyrean_mirror]

...And I have fallen asleep in bookshelves at your age. I promise you, there's a time limit for how long your spine tolerates that nonsense and it's age twenty-five.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I thought those were called a teammock

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS!

THANK YOU!

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAMMOCKS THEY'RE COMFY AS HELL!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

She has her own bed though.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Then I've got a year to go! Challenge accepted!

[desirestruth]

Then why does it matter what you sleep in?

[empyrean_mirror]

No! You are still accruing debt your back will pay off! Have a care for your future self!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!!

[onebullet]

You pulling my leg?

[desirestruth]

I guess it'd matter if she's planning on coming to cuddle, but then you could just use her bed?