forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
catsgothistongue: (HA HA HA HA HA!!!)

[personal profile] catsgothistongue 2024-12-05 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
What're the chances she sees this comment out of the hundred comments on this post? She'll be none the wiser!
catsgothistongue: (LETSTALKABOUTTHIS)

[personal profile] catsgothistongue 2024-12-05 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[WAIT WAIT WAIT-]

It'll be your funeral too! You're the loud mouth who blabbed it!!!
catsgothistongue: (A little peeved)

[personal profile] catsgothistongue 2024-12-06 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Not if I bring you down with me first!

[Think he's afraid of death, old man? You've got another thing coming!]
catsgothistongue: (Pause)

(1/2)

[personal profile] catsgothistongue 2024-12-06 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
[shit he didn't think that far ahead.]

catsgothistongue: (Payback's a bitch)

(2/3) I lied

[personal profile] catsgothistongue 2024-12-06 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
[After a few minutes of scouring the entire post for blackmail material...]

Tell Zelda, and I show her this.

[catsgothistongue posted an image:]