forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
headhunt: (xxx ↪)

1/2

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
( holy shit. she cannot reply because she's bowing over in laughter. he's learned absolutely fucking nothing about minding what he says in public. )
headhunt: (v ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
( eventually. )

say less
headhunt: (cxlvi ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
( there's another delay because karlach howls with laughter. )

don't talk about your girlfriend shackling you to bed
in public

where we can all read
and comment on it

she's a lady
headhunt: (xxxvi ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
that's not better

did you like it when she made you kneel, darin?
headhunt: (xx ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
( oh, okay.

so it's like this. )


after she put you in your place
what did you do next
did you show her you were sorry?