forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
netherese: (22)

[personal profile] netherese 2024-12-06 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Naturally! Of course, I make due wherever I must, as circumstances dictate— we've spent our share of nights sleeping in our bloody, well-appointed ditches all across the Sword Coast— but with the proper space in resources, there's no reason not to invest in one's comfort and long-term health.

Just so that we're clear, a proper mattress does not qualify as 'fancy stuff.' The amount of pillows, however, may.
headhunt: (lvii ↪)

[personal profile] headhunt 2024-12-06 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
no i'm with you
fancy stuff all the way


( living in their fancy house for so long has led her to develop a taste for some fineries. )

how do you tell if a mattress is proper
Edited 2024-12-06 05:34 (UTC)
netherese: (71)

[personal profile] netherese 2024-12-17 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Glad to know that our lodgings here are well-appreciated!

[How will they ever go back to living without such comforts? May they never have to find out...]

A proper mattress ought to be firm enough to offer reasonable support, but pliant enough to provide comfort. Preferably, no straw sticking out of bursting seams.