Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[deepstar]

[ Okay okay. Time to keep it rolling. ]

All of the sudden I understand why someone's definitely going to have to prove themselves to you.

I'm not sure that these two have what it takes to cause "way bigger property damage."

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...What was that?

[deepstar]

Ha! Well if it isn't the man of the hour himself.

I said you and your friend there probably aren't capable of creating the type of damage that the lady and I are speaking of. It's perfectly fine. Not a mark against you at all.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Buddy.

Friend.

The type of property damage I could inflict alone would get me kicked off of Eltrut.

1/2

[deepstar]

[ Oh no. Is this... Is this someone who is deliberately oblivious or-? ]

not here;

[headhunt]

( it's fun seeing this realisation in real time. darin's just like this. )

[deepstar]

Ahhhh...

Yeah, no. I got nothing. Now I'm guessing you're not actually picking up what we're saying here.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Well, I mean in terms of raw damage, I can do pretty well. But Zelda's not the type to cause any trouble or damage to other people's property.

I'm just saying not to underestimate me!

[deepstar]

No, no. I can't do it. Please keep living in your innocent, sheltered world you sweet, sweet child.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm twenty four!!

[deepstar]

Twenty for and still so innocent? I'm impressed.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Inno— WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE INNUENDO?! WHY CAN'T WORDS JUST MEAN WORDS

[deepstar]

Words never do, my friend. They never do.

[headhunt]

Gotta be with someone who can hold their own, you know?

( can practically hear her grin through her voice. )

They might not, but I do.

[deepstar]

[ This is probably the best and worst friendship that could be had here. ]

Well. Don't look at me. I'm far too fragile for something like that. Don't be too heartbroken over it.

[ He sounds so dramatic as he says that! Claude'll even fake a tear. ]

Strong gal like you though? Oh, I'm sure that the entire home would be devastated. They'd have to burn it down and rebuild.

[headhunt]

The more you say it, the less I believe you.

( but she laughs, loud and hearty. )

Are you trying to get me interested in taking a crack at you? It might be working.

1/2

[deepstar]

[ Well yeah. Don't believe him. He is a liar that lies when he needs to?

But erm well. Claude is certainly hoping that this is just. You know. Fun and teasing. Because he isn't a flirt to the level that Sylvain had a reputation to be. ]

[deepstar]

Only "might?"

There's really only one problem with this scenario. You'd have to catch me first and I can fly.

[headhunt]

Oh, that only makes it more fun.

( a laugh. because he's only further selling this. )

I love the face they make when I pull someone out of the sky.

[deepstar]

You wouldn't do that to my poor, sweet partner... Would you?

[headhunt]

That depends.

Who's your partner?

[deepstar]

My wyvern. Who else?

[headhunt]

( there's an audibly excited noise. )

You have a wyvern? Why haven't we met yet?

[deepstar]

[ And now Claude is laughing. ]

Of course. Wyverns are pretty important where I come from. Azita is a little bigger than a horse, if you don't count her wingspan.

[ But he won't answer the other question. He'd have to be hunted down! ]

[headhunt]

Bigger than a horse?

( there's wonder in her voice. that sounds very small!! it must be very cute. )

Important how? Are you guys like some kind of wyvern riding clan?