Darin Altway (
forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in
shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm
Entry tags:
- alhaitham,
- axel,
- azul ashengrotto,
- cidolfus telamon,
- commander shepard,
- darin altway,
- della duck,
- emet-selch,
- gale dekarios,
- garrus vakarian,
- hiro hamada,
- jill warrick,
- karlach cliffgate,
- kaveh,
- miriam,
- naeva dos martos,
- nappa,
- ranma saotome,
- reno,
- roxas,
- sakata kintoki,
- sherlock holmes,
- sidestep,
- vash the stampede,
- zelda
Bedroom Talk
Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

no subject
[...what?]
Had em all over the gardens at Ghoul's moon
Give it an 7 out 10
They velvet line those things you know
no subject
OH OKAY THANK GODS
Wait really? Is it just for aesthetics? I cant imagine dead people worry about comfort
no subject
I'm not the one making em
[But he's seeing a fun button to press here.]
Why
Am I not allowed to sleep in one for any other reason?
[Would it make you uncomfortable if maybe he was kind of DEAD?]
no subject
Youre not dead are you?
no subject
no subject
no subject
[Just gonna let that hang a beat.
...]
Well anyway I'm still advocating for a bed.
Get. A. REAL. **BED**
no subject
I cant help but notice youre not clarifying on whether youre alive or not
no subject
User Emberized has disconnected.]
no subject
HEY COME BACK HERE
HEY!!!
[Darin has thrown his shellphone.]
ZELDA THERE'S A DEAD GUY ON MY SHELLPHONE HELP!!!