Darin Altway (
forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in
shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm
Entry tags:
- alhaitham,
- axel,
- azul ashengrotto,
- cidolfus telamon,
- commander shepard,
- darin altway,
- della duck,
- emet-selch,
- gale dekarios,
- garrus vakarian,
- hiro hamada,
- jill warrick,
- karlach cliffgate,
- kaveh,
- miriam,
- naeva dos martos,
- nappa,
- ranma saotome,
- reno,
- roxas,
- sakata kintoki,
- sherlock holmes,
- sidestep,
- vash the stampede,
- zelda
Bedroom Talk
Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

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Ballsacks?
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Please tell me that you're joking.
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Surely you have a better suggestion than something so crass.
[or maybe this guy really is just stupid...]
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Sacknap?
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Me? I can pretty much sleep anywhere. I've fallen asleep on the anvil in my forge before.
But at least with one of those bean bag things there's some level of cushioning. I'm sure you can find one to try out somewhere!
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[But honestly, looking at the chart and the example picture, this looks like a chair that someone like Idia would probably enjoy more than him... though speaking of the chart again--]
I just had a thought I realized I should have asked sooner, in regards to the hot tub inclusion: does this involve trying to sleep in the tub while it's empty, or when it has water in it?
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How would you ensure that you don't accidentally drown if your head slips under the water while you're asleep?
[Azul may be able to breathe underwater, but land-dwellers... not so much without magic.]