forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
crystalrepose: (08)

[personal profile] crystalrepose 2024-12-12 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
...did you think it was detachable?

[She has a feeling she knows the answer to that.]
crystalrepose: (06)

[personal profile] crystalrepose 2024-12-13 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
[There was an attempt! Miriam still sighs, though it's small.]

Regrettably, they are not. The crystal on my back is only the largest so far.

[Stupid inconvenient demon rocks.]
crystalrepose: (09)

[personal profile] crystalrepose 2024-12-14 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
[This is sure a heavy topic for a thread about bed discourse.]

It's the nature of my curse. One Shard attracts the others, and my crystal grows.
crystalrepose: (06)

[personal profile] crystalrepose 2024-12-14 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
They'll continue to spread until the crystal is all I am.

[It's said so matter of factly, but in a resigned sort of way. Like this was her own hanging sword of Damocles Miriam had been staring down for quite some time now.]

I'm certain you have more questions, but I'd...rather not talk about this here.