Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[multidisciplinary]

You did not "need" such a nice cottage. Your apartment provided the bare essentials.

[ Emphasis on "bare." ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

…Y-Yeah well.

[Ahem]

Someone came into my life and made me want a little more.

So I guess…I’m just at a bit of a loss for how to…you know.

Treat myself with the kindness she shows me constantly.

[multidisciplinary]

[ Zelda smiles, a look of equal parts triumph and smugness. Seems like he got the message without her needing to spell it out for him. ]

Perhaps you should try thinking about this from a different angle. If she were in need of a bed, what would you pick out for her?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Well…I’d get her whatever she wanted. Something big with lots of pillows. Soft mattress but not too soft. Lots of blankets.

Just…whatever made her happiest.

[multidisciplinary]

[ Her smile softens into something more affectionate. Goddess, he's so sweet. Even when he's constructing an entire chart just to prove his point in a disagreement, Zelda can't help but want to kiss him all over. ]

And if she wanted something that would not be able to accommodate both of you at the same time...?

[ She is literally taking him by the hand and leading him to her reasoning. ]

1/2

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin considers this for a moment and then his face practically starts to burn crimson.]

2/2

[forgeabettertomorrow]

W-Wait but don’t we usually use you—

I-I mean…not that I wouldn’t mind I just didn’t think y-you’d…

U-Um…

[multidisciplinary]

[ Zelda laughs as she sees Darin blush. Ah, he's figured it out. ]

We do usually use mine. [ She confirms in a musical tone, her voice light with amusement. ] And not solely because it is so nice. Your apartment isn't exactly furnished in such a way to accommodate us.

[ Not that she can't think of ways to enjoy what furniture he does have, but there isn't really anywhere they can relax comfortably when they're finished, nevermind sleep through the night. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

R-Right and...I guess you would like to see me...

Take better care of myself. In a way that also accommodates you in my life.

R...R-Right?