forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
thearchangel: (Here's what we do.)

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-13 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
You sort of did make a big statement about how great she is, recently.
thearchangel: (My favorite part of me.)

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-14 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
... Given what you told me, off the record, I don't think I can comment on that.

[Aka: You told me you liked her so I can't confirm or deny anything here without being a bigger jackass than usual.]
thearchangel: (/FACEPALM)

> Private

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-17 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh my god]

[SIGH.]

[PRIVATE NOW...]


Only when you confirm it like that.
thearchangel: (I have nothing left)

> Private

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-17 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't think you were going to say that.

You usually argue this kind of thing.
thearchangel: (give him a smooch)

> Private

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-18 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, and I thought you were going to continue.
thearchangel: (Did I leave the gas on?)

> Private

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-19 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
A lot of times when you start yelling louder, people think you're protesting too much.

So that's probably why.

Just brush it off? Ask them why they're so curious where you sleep at night?
thearchangel: (Here's what we do.)

> Private

[personal profile] thearchangel 2024-12-26 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd guess at that point you just hang up?

Unfortunately, it could be a case of "anything you say can and will be used against you."