Darin Altway (
forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in
shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm
Entry tags:
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- commander shepard,
- darin altway,
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- zelda
Bedroom Talk
Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.

As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

resurrects myself maybe
[He's prepared to Let Darin Cook.]
We can hardly limit ourselves to a single plane in this particular thought exercise, either. No two are exactly alike, with vastly different properties and demands.
no subject
As in different worlds?
Is that why people can't understand why a hammock makes a suitable bed? Maybe people are just sturdier on my world.
[No Darin, it's because you're a demigod that's too stupid to process pain.]
no subject
[That said...]
I'm not certain a hammock is considered a suitable bed in any of them, however.
no subject
no subject