forgeabettertomorrow: (this Lance guy sounds alright)
Darin Altway ([personal profile] forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in [community profile] shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm

Bedroom Talk

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
emet_sulk: (28 I had high hopes for you)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2024-12-30 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure why your bed partner matters here but you are welcome, I suppose.

'Tis none of my business if you wish to share a hammock with one girl or five.
emet_sulk: (13 the world belongs to us)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2025-01-03 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Some people have large appetites. Who am I to judge?

Regardless, 'tis none of my business. Although I can still make it my business should I ever hear of mistreatment.
emet_sulk: (36 thought we might chat)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2025-01-07 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
Frankly you do not strike me as the sort to need the warning, but if there is one enduring truth I've learnt about mankind, 'tis that even the kindest man can become the cruellest monster given the right impetus.
emet_sulk: (28 I had high hopes for you)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2025-01-16 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah. I hope 'twas not too terrible an ordeal.
emet_sulk: (41 ...and what it is not)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2025-01-21 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Who was it? Someone close to you?

Or mayhap...a more personal experience?
emet_sulk: (15 in thought)

[personal profile] emet_sulk 2025-01-29 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
You may have to refresh my memory.