Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE HAS HER OWN BED, RANMA

[This is not a tacit denial of the accusation.]

And see? You get it! Every single one of these objects fits the bed spectrum!

[catsgothistongue]

Yes, the bed she owns, that I dragged your unconscious butt to after we fought Ganondick?~

[:P]

When you've been walking all over the place for as long as I have, you gotta take wherever you can get some shuteye as it comes.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh no that one was ruined. [Because he bled all over it. Not some other way.]

I bought her a new one to make up for it.

Honestly, I get so focused at work I tend to sleep where I drop.

[catsgothistongue]

Woof. Yeeeeah, bloodstains are a pain to get out of covers without the right know-how.

[Then again, Zelda probably would've gotten pissed if he'd. Drop Darin like a sack of bleeding, gravely wounded, slowly dying potatoes on the floor. So... necessary sacrifice.]

Same here. [The amount of times he conked out in the middle of training - and subsequently got smacked awake - can not go unstated.] Hammocks are comfy and relaxing to snooze in, so you've got my vote there. Are you getting two, or one?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I bled so much over that thing it just wasn't even worth salvaging. I felt really bad about it.

I want to get one. Why would I need two?

[catsgothistongue]

[Considering Darin's a castle, yeah, Ranma can only imagine the mattress must've looked like a blood-soaked sponge by the time he woke up...]

For Zels? Unless you wanna cuddle with her in one hammock, in which case, you better get a big one.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I told you Zelda has her own bed!! What the hell are you implying?!

[catsgothistongue]

Do ya' need me to spell it out for you? Didn't you say you two were livin' together now?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I...yeah.

We're roommates. She has her own room.

[catsgothistongue]

[And they were roommates...]

Just roommates. Nothing else?~

[Does he need to pull up what Darin said during the calendar talk?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Best...friends?

[catsgothistongue]

Dude.

[They all can see it, they're not subtle about it he says only finding this out recently during a calendar advent of all things Does he really need to say more?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What?!?

[LOOK THERE ARE REASONS WHY HE CAN'T JUST COME OUT AND SAY WHAT THEY ARE AND THAT'S BECAUSE HE AND ZELDA DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. THEY'RE ROOMMATES. INTIMATE ROOMMATES.]

[Besides, he's not going to make an announcement like that without Zelda's approval. Even though he kinda did. Twice.]

Everyone is getting the wrong idea here! [No they're not.]

[catsgothistongue]

Are we? Are we really getting the wrong idea of you and Zels being an item?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yes!

Look, are we close? Yes!

Did we move in together? Absolutely!

Did anything else specifically happen between us?? I don't see how that's relevant!

[catsgothistongue]

[...]

... you two banged, and there isn't anything more than [Doing a very good Darin impression and even restyled his hair for a split second to the beefcake, minus the pigtail] 'being close' going on?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE DIDN'T DO THAT!!!

[catsgothistongue]

THEN WHAT DID YOU DO??

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE GOT GHOST MARRIED!!!

(1/2)

[catsgothistongue]

[......]

(2/2)

[catsgothistongue]

Oooooh, so that's who was asking about the legitimacy over ghost marriage here.

Voice

[general_affairs]

[ Sorry, Reno couldn't help himself. ]

And they were roommates??

leaving this in cause it's too hilarious

[catsgothistongue]

Oh my gods, they were "roommates..."

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?!

[general_affairs]

[ Not Reno out here barking with laughter. ]

They got a saying out by the reactors for this:

Bless your heart.