text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings: Impersonation and clickbait B| None whatsoever.

Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.

It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.

Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.

Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.

[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]

Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.

[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]

Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!

[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]

Comments

[empyrean_mirror]

I already said they were earpieces?

[Earpieces aren't the same as earrings???]

[catsgothistongue]

Most earrings don't play music. Last time I checked.

[Earpieces, earrings, what's the difference?]

[empyrean_mirror]

They don't, which is why I didn't say earrings.

[catsgothistongue]

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE???

[empyrean_mirror]

my earrings are hanging from a piercing in my earlobe. his earpieces cover his entire ear and create a seal around it.

[catsgothistongue]

So what you're saying is you're both wearing something that goes on your ear?

Therefore, they're earrings.

[I'm so sorry Kaveh.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[ it's fine. this is fine. ]

I'll be sure to remember you need your ears pierced before I make you a set of these, then.

[catsgothistongue]

I'll pass. I've had too many things stabbed into me for a lifetime, I'd rather not get stuck with something embarrassing hanging off my ears.

[empyrean_mirror]

...they are not embarrassing!

[ HIS EARRINGS LOOK AMAZING SIR? ]

[catsgothistongue]

Anyone with some sense of dignity wouldn't be caught dead in those.

[OH SO NOW THEY'RE EARRINGS HUH?]

[empyrean_mirror]

first of all, rude. second of all, I'm not taking advice on dignity from someone who got mugged by penguins.

[catsgothistongue]

I'M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE THAT LYING DOWN FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS THOSE PENGUIN'S CRUSH

[empyrean_mirror]

aren't you?

[catsgothistongue]

[If this is one of those phones that have '...' buffering or 'catsgothistongue is typing', then it's a solid five minutes before Ranma finally responds.]

Did you need anything else for the party.

[empyrean_mirror]

I think we've got most everything else, thank you.

[catsgothistongue]

You're not welcome. Stub your toe on the nearest coffee table.

[He goes offline.]