text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings: Impersonation and clickbait B| None whatsoever.

Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.

It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.

Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.

Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.

[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]

Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.

[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]

Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!

[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]

Comments

[scooba]

[The more that he read the story, the more he couldn’t help but absorb the information that was given to him.]

…That’s a lovely story. Where did you hear it from?

[Because the more he read into it, the more it seemed something straight out of a fairytale.]

[empyrean_mirror]

The little bird told me, of course.

[Hahaha it's not about him, why would you think that?]

[scooba]

...

Is that something I should continue to ask about? Because whoever that little bird is, they seem like someone who doesn't give up. No matter what the cost might be.

[empyrean_mirror]

Tell you what, if you can be brave enough, you can ask Alhaitham about this story--show it to him from your phone, if it helps. He knows who that bird is.

[And Kaveh's actually a little embarrassed to reveal it's him.]

[scooba]

....

Are you sure? He seems a little intimidating to ask.

[Just saying.]

[empyrean_mirror]

I know, he doesn't always make a good first impression. But even though he looks grumpy and he's very blunt, he's never cruel. He's actually quite kind, but he's not very good with people.

Here's a secret, if that helps. If you leave him alone in a sunny spot for fifteen minutes, he'll usually fall asleep right there. And he's useless in the morning, before his first cup of coffee kicks in. Doesn't seem as scary now, does he?

interrupting the current program to bring some breaking news

[indispensable]

It's twenty minutes, not fifteen.

Also, the 'bird' that Kaveh is talking about refers to himself.

surprise bitch

[scooba]

Is that so?

...Can I ask what exactly did you do, Mr. Kaveh?

screeches

[empyrean_mirror]

[There's a long pause because kaveh had to go chuck pillows at Alhaitham.]

um. I built a palace.

[Kaveh. Broseph.]

[scooba]

[Oh.......]

Why didn't you let me know? That's amazing you built it!

[empyrean_mirror]

It's...a little embarrassing to talk about it, somewhere the Palace doesn't exist...I'm not used to it.

[scooba]

What do you mean it doesn't exist? Is it in another world?

[???]

[empyrean_mirror]

It's in Sumeru, and we're currently not.

[scooba]

Oh.

[Beat]

.......I'm sorry.

[empyrean_mirror]

It's fine, everything is very surreal here as it is. I wonder if this is what dreaming is like...I hadn't gotten used to that, either.

[scooba]

I heard that it was only recently that your Archon was released, right? That's a scary thought.

To know at there was someone who held her hostage and stealing dreams...

I can't imagine.

[empyrean_mirror]

[...hm, weird, had the news really made it all the way to Fontaine? He supposes the steambird reporters really do work hard...]

Alhaitham and the Traveler know more about it than I do. I'm just glad she's free to do as she wishes now...god or human, no one should be trapped like that.

[scooba]

Is she doing better? I hope so.

Like you mentioned, nobody deserves to suffer a fate such as that. It makes me wonder what kind of things Archons have to go through....

[empyrean_mirror]

I've never had the honor of meeting her, but I believe she is...Alhaitham worked with her directly, after they freed her, so he really does know her better.

The gods...must surely have their own troubles too. I do wonder about it...wisdom often starts as confusion. If that's true for her, I wonder if she's ever been truly happy.

I hope so.

[scooba]

...

I am curious. What have you heard about our Archon? I'm not sure how much Sumeru knows about her.

[empyrean_mirror]

My mother lives in Fontaine, though I haven't gotten a letter from her in a while...Furina de Fontaine, who takes part in a great many plays at the Opera Epiclesse and attends all trials, correct?

[scooba]

Yes, that is correct.

...What do you think about our Archon?

[empyrean_mirror]

I...am afraid I don't think about her very often, I'm sorry. I've never met her, though I always thought it was nice that she meets with her people.

[scooba]

...

If it helps, I want to let you know that she is doing well. If you ever see her, I think she would appreciate it.

[empyrean_mirror]

That wouldn't be...presumptuous of me or anything?