text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings: Impersonation and clickbait B| None whatsoever.

Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.

It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.

Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.

Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.

[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]

Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.

[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]

Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!

[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]

Comments

[indispensable]

[Why are you so offended by those words anyway its not as if he said it for you to hear.]

You do realize there is a difference between hearing an anecdote and having a blatant lie told right to your face, yes?

[empyrean_mirror]

You are the one who gets fussy about my involvement in combat of any kind, and it is not a lie that Mehrak's capabilities were programmed for surveying first.

[indispensable]

[Just gonna give you another Look here, senior. You know the one.

Both of them know there is literally no excuse for the inclusion of the claymore in this.]

[empyrean_mirror]

She's more reliable than any bodyguard.

[And more economical!!]

[indispensable]

[The Look just continues on.

You say that but you could have just. Picked up a sword? Like a normal person? And maybe it might take a bit more work but he's fairly certain a catalyst wouldn't be out of your ballpark.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[Swords are boring and don't break mining points.

And he has a catalyst her name is Mehrak.]

What point are you even trying to prove? You're the one always fussing when I do anything remotely combative.

[indispensable]

All I said was that you should have a way to defend yourself in case of an emergency.

[Not make a toolbox to wield a claymore for you, that's just being extra at that point.]

[empyrean_mirror]

And I did it in a way that protects my hands, didn't I?

[HHMPH.]

[indispensable]

[A small snort here. He can literally feel the pout emanating from you right now, senior.]

Then would you like a gold star for your accomplishment?

[empyrean_mirror]

I see you want to make your own lunch today, sassing me like this.

[he does. he wants a gold star and headpats.]

[indispensable]

[One day Kaveh will have all the headpats and gold stars he desires. But for now—]

Maybe I will.

[And maybe he'll make an extra serving while he's at it, since, you know. The stuff is already there anyway so might as well.]

[empyrean_mirror]

Do as you like.

[It's not like Kaveh will eat it if given or anything! HMMPH!]

[indispensable]

[Not even if Kaveh gets a close semblance to his favourite dish? But minus the ostentatiousness.]

I always have.

[Kaveh knows this very well.

Alhaitham's shellphone buzzes then, and he goes to look at it, only to snort at the influx of new messages that have come.]

There are more replies on the post. Since you made it, its your job to reply to them.

[empyrean_mirror]

[...MAYBE. But only because it'd go to waste!]

At least answer the questions directly addressed to you.

[He squints at his own phone, and sighs. He might kill a teenager today.]

[indispensable]

[A small snort here.]

I'm sure you can answer on my behalf, seeing as how much fun you were having with impersonating me.

[...and that's pretty much how he'll end that conversation because he is going to head to the kitchen to prepare that lunch for them now. Bye Kaveh.]