Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

[catsgothistongue]

People really can't tell if someone's serious or not around here, can they...?

[Do people really think he's that stupid?]

Though you make a good point. Why have a tartar pit if you're not even going to use it? Unless the crabs are eating people...

[They've got a conspiracy on their hands!]

[hyperviolence]

I don't know you well enough to tell, but if it's of any consolation, I wouldn't blame you if you did try something funny.

Man-eating crab. You'd think they have better taste...

[catsgothistongue]

[... He can't tell if Gojo's condoning him or not, and that bugs him!]

... Thaaaanks? [Very hesitant and drawn out.]

I know, right? Who the heck picks tartar sauce as their first choice? Mayo is right there, just choose it instead!

[Might've forgotten they're arguing the semantics of crabs eating people here.]

[hyperviolence]

[look, he's all for everyone living their best lives around here! it's not like they have any duties or obligations (not that he took those too seriously back home...), so why not have a riot here. who knows how long it'll last??]

You like mayo better than tartar sauce?

[catsgothistongue]

[To be fair, he's not actively trying to start a riot. Purposely...]

I guess? It was more so an example that popped into my head first. I'm not particularly picky when it comes to food.

[hyperviolence]

[ but has one truly lived without starting a riot on purpose at least once? ]

See, that's a sensible approach to food. Being picky just limits your option and in an environment like this it can mean starvation.

What did you do to your arm by the way?
If the crabbies attack now, will you be ok?

[catsgothistongue]

[... true. Wise words, Gojo. He only wants to start a riot if there's a purpose to it though!]

I'm used to not having a lotta food and having to make do with what I can find or scrounge up. Comes with living mostly away from civilization and society as a whole for most of your life. You can't afford to be a giant fussy baby about what you like or dislike. That, and I just like food.

[Ranma's a shounen protagonist through and through. Gluttony tends to be on their résumé.]

This? It's not that big a deal, it just got a little crushed during a maze I was exploring here. [He described it in the same way someone'd describe scraping their knee or bumping their toe on a table's leg.] I've fought in worst conditions before, I can handle it!