text | Free Toe Ring

[emet_sulk]

Type: Text
Sender ID: emet-sulk
To: Public
Subject: Free Toe Ring
Warnings: None besides the nature of the uh. toe ring (Game's A Foot) being what it is.

If there is anyone with a penchant for feet who would take this ridiculous toe ring off my hands then I would be much obliged.

[ He attaches an image of the toe ring, which was his reward from completing the investigation into the brothel's lockbox. ]

Comments

text;

[activatingcombatmode]

Not a feet guy, huh?

[emet_sulk]

I do not see the appeal. They smell and can have any type of fungal growth on them.

[activatingcombatmode]

Hah! Well, you're not wrong! Feet are kind of gross.

Why are you giving away a toe ring. How did you get it in the first place?

[emet_sulk]

It was my reward for locating a stolen lockbox for a brothel.

[activatingcombatmode]

Well, that's your first problem. You took on a job at a brothel.

[emet_sulk]

So I should have let their stolen goods be? I would question the integrity of someone who has no qualms in discriminating against clientele.

[activatingcombatmode]

Nah, don't get me wrong! Helping people is helping people, that's great!

What I mean is, of course a brothel's gonna give you a weird sex thing for a reward.

[emet_sulk]

[ ... ]

I suppose.

Then I suppose I shall need a way to sell any future...rewards.

[activatingcombatmode]

Yeah, just always be aware they're gonna give you the stuff. And if you don't wanna use it then yeah you're gonna have to make a lot of posts like these or find someone to buy it off you.

[Does Emet-Selch wanna be that weird guy that pawns off sex rewards all the time!!!]

[emet_sulk]

[ Hey, it'd be a decent side business-- ]

I shall think of something. An anonymous sale, perhaps.

[activatingcombatmode]

[There would probably be buyers somewhere...!]

Yeah, man. That might work!

[emet_sulk]

And so I go from destroyer of worlds to purveyor of sexual trinkets. Good grief.

[activatingcombatmode]

What a time to be alive, am I right?

You don't mean that for real though, do ya? The destroyer thing.

[emet_sulk]

I'm not in the habit of lying, even in jest.

[activatingcombatmode]

Seriously... those kinds of details? For free??

[emet_sulk]

What? Am I supposed to hide my misdeeds? I destroyed several worlds in the hopes of restoring my own - and no, I don't care to argue over the ethics over that choice. I'd rather not waste time on explaining myself to someone who won't listen.

[activatingcombatmode]

Wow, you're a piece of work. I thought you villain-types were supposed to keep your terrible secrets half hidden at least.

[emet_sulk]

[ Oh boy, here we go again. ]

Why? Are you from [ sigh ] Hydaelyn?

[activatingcombatmode]

Hydaelyn... Nah. I think Raha is.

[Don't tell him you murdered stars in G'raha's vicinity...........]

[emet_sulk]

[ It takes him a moment to remember Raha is the Exarch's informal name. ]

Aye, we're from the same star regrettably.

I'm sure he will be glad to regale you with my villainous exploits.

[activatingcombatmode]

Damn... seriously.

[Zack's a bit lost for words on that one. This guy isn't even trying to hide it.

... Then again. Sephiroth didn't either. Hm.]

So are you looking for that redemption arc now or what.

[emet_sulk]

No. I did what I thought was right and necessary. Just as those who opposed me believed what they were doing was right and necessary. The claim to 'righteousness' is a privilege of the victor, just as 'villain' becomes the scornful moniker of the fallen.

If you want to direct your ire towards anyone, direct it at the false goddess who sundered our star to begin with. She destroyed countless lives doing so and all I and my brethren did was try to repair the damage.

[activatingcombatmode]

... When you put it like that? I can't blame you for parts of it, then.

I mean. Maybe you could have tried to find a way to say your part without killing or hurting even more people and stars. There's always that. Just food for thought.

[Luckily Zack isn't in the market to be lecturing people even if they seem kind of... Well. This. So, he'll just say that for now.]

[emet_sulk]

Do you think we didn't try to find another way? The one time I had hope of another solution, I was left disappointed at the final malmstone. It took seven calamities to reach that point - an eighth would have made it a certainty, I think.

[activatingcombatmode]

I'm really sorry, man. It sounds like you're still healing.

But the simple saying goes that you shouldn't solve violence with more violence. That's how wars keep happening. When do you find the end to that.