Text;

[thearchangel]

Type: Text
Sender ID: thearchangel (Garrus Vakarian)
To: Everyone
Subject: Help Wanted
Warnings: N/A

All right, I cave.

Help wanted for someone who can engineer a way to keep someone from sinking the second they set foot in a body of water.




And please don't say "swimming lessons" - that's not physically possible without a lot of flotation assistance.

Comments

video; un: halfdog

[halfdog]

[ he barely knows how this stupid device works, and there was no way you're gunna catch him texting on this thing.

so cue the all too blank stare as he gazes at the nothingness. ]

Can't ya just... float?

video;

[thearchangel]

[... You know he really should have expected questions, given how he didn't elaborate. Good going, Vakarian.]

No. My people have metallic plating. [Sort of. Kind of. Easiest way to put it.] Trying to float looks more like flailing, followed by drowning.

[halfdog]

[ Oh. Whoa. Okay. He was not expecting to see that on the other side of the screen! So forgive Inuyasha's.... tactfulness when he blurts out. ]

What the— what the heck are you?

[thearchangel]

Currently? Worried about drowning.

[He's a comedian.]

Let me guess - you've never seen one of my people before? Not in your world?

[halfdog]

[ Ha ha. Very funny.

He almost rolls his eyes at that, but he's more curious about Garrus' answer more than his annoyance. ]

I mean, I've seen some freaky lookin' demons before, but something tells me you ain't one of 'em.

[thearchangel]

[He's hilarious excuse you. Comedian of the game.]

No, no, I am not. Nothing even close to a "demon".

[Different tactic might be needed...] Does the concept of "aliens" exist in your world?

[halfdog]

[ Don't expect him to come to your shows anytime soon!!



.... And sorry, but that'll earn another stare, this time his face going a bit blank. ]

Nuh uh. Guessin' that's what you are, though?

[thearchangel]

[Yeah he was afraid of this.]

That's what humans say. Easiest explanation to run with in a place like this.

[halfdog]

I ain't stupid. [ And not a human, either! ] If you don't wanna be called an "alien" or whatever the hell it is, then just say what you are!

Or, y'know, if you got a name or something.

[thearchangel]

I didn't say that. [Easy, down boy.] It's just easier sometimes, to explain it that way, for everyone involved.

It's Garrus. And I'm a turian.

[halfdog]

Garrus the turian. Got it. [ He does, in fact, not get it. ] I'm Inuyasha.

So what, can turians not take off the metal pieces? Are they stuck on ya?

[thearchangel]

Nice meeting you.

My armor, sure. But not my actual plating. It'd be like you removing pieces of your skin.

[halfdog]

[ Cue the cringed grimace as that mental image flashes through his mind. ]

Gross! Okay, I get your point.

So then… why not look for somethin’ here? This place is magical, isn’t it? There’s gotta be a thing here that can keep you from drowning. I keep hearing about these “relics” or whatever.

[thearchangel]

[He inclines his head a little - you're welcome for that image, Inuyasha.]

Mostly, because I don't know a damn thing about 'magic'. So... asking people here with more experience seemed like the best bet.

Yeah. Apparently the "relics" are all underwater, too.

[halfdog]

Underwater? Damn, you're really unlucky, aren't ya?

[thearchangel]

That's me. Unluckiest son of a bitch in this world.