Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[minorinpain]

Yeah, uh, if she's happy you're happy.

[Now Nappa's going to employ what's known as a Pro-Gamer Move.]

You got time later you should come out my way. I'm gettin' lax on training, it's better with someone to spar against. Come fight me.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[That was a wild change in topic. What could this guy be up to?]

[...shrug]

[Screw it.]

Yeah, fine. Where are you? I could use a good workout myself.

[minorinpain]

Out by the docks. Least people complain less if my energy blasts go out over the water. Just head for the rooftop those're coming from, we're up here.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Energy...what?

[He's already on the way but...what?]

[minorinpain]

Energy blasts! Shooting energy outta my hands. It's, you know. Like the flight. Basic stuff.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...You can fly?

[minorinpain]

Well I sure didn't take the stairs up to the roof like a chump.

[Nappa runs his hand down his face; is this really so hard to grasp.] Saiyans can control our reserves of energy to do stuff like fly and shoot energy. It's like the most basic stuff our kids learn before we set em loose on planets to conquer.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

So why did you let me throw you through a window?

[minorinpain]

[Several seconds pass]

...What?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You could fly.

What was stopping you from just stopping mid-air?

So either you're full of crap ooooorrr...

[minorinpain]

[...The little twerp is right. Nappa can fly.]

Rrgh...like I said, I wasn't expectin' ya to be so strong, remember?! I was just...flummoxed, is all! Didn't have time to process what was happenin' to me!

[And to prove it he throws an arm outward towards open water and channels a beam of out over the water, flying over the tops of ships in the harbour and out into sea. He holds it for a few seconds before letting it go and the beam dissipates. If Darin's nearby the harbour already, no way he missed that.]

Ha! See that? Call that bein' full of crap? You just surprised me. Wasn't expecting anyone here to be a real challenge.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Okay but did Nappa forget he could fly?]

...Alright, so that's not magic? You said that's energy?

What's the difference? Where's the energy come from?