Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Congratulations? For what?

Wait she has her own room! This is for me!!

text | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

For your change in relationship with Miss Zelda.

She may have her own room, but that does not stop either of you from using yours.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I wouldnt say anything changed were just roommates now??

I mean shes welcome to come into my room whenever

[astudyinviolet]

Is that so? Then I've been mistaken on how intimate your relationship with her is.

Following the trends of this world, should we be expecting a marriage announcement soon?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHAT TRENDS WHY DOES BEING ROOMMATES LEAD TO MARRIAGE?!?!

LOOK. Zelda and I are close sure. And we do a lot of things together. And shes amazing. And kind. And beautiful.

I am like the worst conceivable match for her

[Because she's a princess and he's a blacksmith and also maybe possibly the harbinger of the end times.]

[astudyinviolet]

If being roommates led to marriage, then I'm somehow a married man despite it being impossible back home.

The trend here is that people who post about here about their relationship end up marrying in a few months' time, and mismatched marriages are prevalent in history. That does not stop anyone.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Wait hold on what do you mean about mismatched marriages?

[R...RELEVANT???]

[astudyinviolet]

A number of people marry despite the opinions of others. Someone who is rich could marry someone poor. The children of two long standing rival families could fall in love. People from either side of a war could decide to marry despite the conflict of their homelands.

Need I continue with examples? As long as someone protests the match, you will also find a couple marrying despite them for that reason doesn't matter to them. Their love does.

[ Be happy, Darin! ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's a few minutes before Darin responds.]

What about between different social castes? You ever hear of something like that happening?

[astudyinviolet]

Yes, even royalty and commoners.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Royalty? I never said anything about royalty!

[astudyinviolet]

No, you spoke of social castes. I intended to cover relations between any caste by using the greatest extreme as an example.

[ He's not trying to out Princess Miss Zelda, but Darin will be doing just that if he keeps reacting as such. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh! OH!

I got it you just wanted to use that example specifically to show the disparity and not because Im just a blacksmith.

Because shes just a researcher.

So we would totally be in the same caste.

Not that we want to be

Private

[astudyinviolet]

If you wish to not expose Miss Zelda's royal heritage, I would say less on the matter. The more you try to say otherwise, the more attention you bring to the opposite being true.

[ Translation: Darin, shut up. You're being too obvious. ]

Private

[forgeabettertomorrow]

How did you find out? Is someone blowing her cover? Do I need to have words with someone??

Private

[astudyinviolet]

I deduced that she was of nobility the first time I met her, but it was upon playing a game that I learned she was a princess. She was quite impaired at the time, so I fear multiple people may have learned the truth.

The one you need to have words with is none other than the princess herself.