Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Honestly I can sleep anywhere too which is why Im not picky.

Back home I slept in a hammock in my room because I used the extra floor space for whatever I was working on or researching at the time

[emberized]

Ah a tinkerer, eh?

[Or just messy. He's certainly known both.]

I dunno
I couldn't imagine working my long work hours without an actual place to crash after. You'd need more than some quick shut eye eventually.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Tinkerer and Master Blacksmith!

Okay when you put it that way that actually really sounds appealing

[emberized]

Whoa! Don't know if I'd want that kind of stuff all over my floor!

[Tinkering sure, but you don't wanna trip over a half formed molten sword or something!]

Right. Exactly.

[The Nobody thinks. Okay, he can't exactly tell if you have agreed so he might as well press it to his advantage.]

Bed. Get a real one. Your body will thank you for it.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Ah it was mostly just books manuals and blueprints I never brought any metal or anything home with me

Okay Im not saying no but have you ever slept in a hammock before?

[emberized]

Well sure

I think.

[Okay maybe he hasn't directly that he can recall, but if he searches his memories...]

And a sofa, and a rooftop and a coffin
What's your point?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Coffin?

[emberized]

Yeah coffin.

[...what?]

Had em all over the gardens at Ghoul's moon

Give it an 7 out 10
They velvet line those things you know

[forgeabettertomorrow]

OH

OH OKAY THANK GODS

Wait really? Is it just for aesthetics? I cant imagine dead people worry about comfort

[emberized]

Got me
I'm not the one making em

[But he's seeing a fun button to press here.]

Why
Am I not allowed to sleep in one for any other reason?

[Would it make you uncomfortable if maybe he was kind of DEAD?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Well why would you?

Youre not dead are you?

[emberized]

Would I be talking to you right now if I was?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Ive been here long enough to learn that 'being able to talk to someone' is not a qualifier of being considered alive

[emberized]

That so?


[Just gonna let that hang a beat.

...]



Well anyway I'm still advocating for a bed.

Get. A. REAL. **BED**

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Fine whatever real bed got it

I cant help but notice youre not clarifying on whether youre alive or not

[emberized]

[Bye Darin~
User Emberized has disconnected.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

HEY

HEY COME BACK HERE

HEY!!!

[Darin has thrown his shellphone.]

ZELDA THERE'S A DEAD GUY ON MY SHELLPHONE HELP!!!