Darin Altway (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm
forgeabettertomorrow) wrote in shellphones2024-12-05 01:23 pm
Entry tags:
- alhaitham,
- axel,
- azul ashengrotto,
- cidolfus telamon,
- commander shepard,
- darin altway,
- della duck,
- emet-selch,
- gale dekarios,
- garrus vakarian,
- hiro hamada,
- jill warrick,
- karlach cliffgate,
- kaveh,
- miriam,
- naeva dos martos,
- nappa,
- ranma saotome,
- reno,
- roxas,
- sakata kintoki,
- sherlock holmes,
- sidestep,
- vash the stampede,
- zelda
Bedroom Talk
Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.
As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys
[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]
Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.
See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."
Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.
As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.
Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?
[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]
no subject
B-But I think...people are getting the wrong idea about us...?
no subject
You asked an entire network about your bedding situation with your close roommate.
We didn't have to travel far.
no subject
I feel like it's a pretty big assumption that two people living together having a disagreement about what constitutes a bed in their home automatically translates to them sleeping toge—
...Crap.
Look, isn't it entirely possible that maybe we're just good friends?? Two friends can have a disagreement about bed, right??
no subject
But I think if you have to ASK if MAYBE you're good friends, you already lost this game.
1/2
2/2
I want to play a different game.
...I don't suppose deleting my very expertly made chart is going to make a difference now.
no subject
So, what's this lady like? I know you now, tell me about your girlfriend!
no subject
[Okay, so let's try a different tack.]
She's my captain. [THAT WON'T CAUSE FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS OR ISSUES.]
Her name's Zelda and she's...
[Somehow, being spoken to as if he's actually talking about his girlfriend is way more embarrassing.]
...She's my hero. She taught me that I could be worth something if I stopped pushing everyone away and showed them who I want to be rather than what I thought I was.
no subject
no subject
I-It's not even really that spectacular? I mean she's spectacular but...I-I mean...
no subject
no subject
B-Besides, I don't even know who you are!
no subject
Name's Della Duck! Nice to meet you!
no subject
So, after spending a decade on the moon do you moonlight as a matchmaker now?
no subject
But no, that's pretty low on the "stuff I tend to do" list. But this was just so blaringly obvious I had to say something. Like when someone has a piece of toilet-paper stuck on their foot or their fly's down. You gotta speak up and help when someone doesn't realize they look like a doofus.
no subject
So you're in the business of helping people out, huh? I'm kinda in the same boat.
Sometimes, you just gotta meddle, right?
no subject
[ woo-woo. ]
no subject
And there's plenty of ruins in this world too! I've been poking around them myself!
no subject