shellphones | ❄️ out here it’s like i’m someone else

Entry tags:

❄️ out here it’s like i’m someone else

Type: Text
Sender ID: tilfrosset (Jill Warrick)
To: Public
Subject: On comings and goings...
Warnings: None

Many people come here looking for a way back to their world and I cannot blame them. The idea of mysterious rifts controlling when we come and go... it's more than one can take. Should take, even.

But if it's not asking too much, I'd like to seek out a differing opinion:

If you had the choice to leave this place, would you stay instead? Why?

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Can't. There's a world to save and a couple gods to kill.

Can't is different than won't.

Is there no one else who can contend with the gods?

[She's asking that question out of curiosity, not judgement. Jill is all too familiar with people who try to shoulder the entire burden by themselves and she hopes this isn't the case with Davrin.]

We've got a whole team, yeah. But half of us are here. Can't put the whole plan on the others' shoulders. Besides... they're my people's gods. It's personal.

You, Neve, and Harding. Would the other two agree?

Elven gods? Does it not feel blasphemous to take on your own deities?

Plus one more. He just got here. Probably would. But I never really believed in them, personally. And when they're trying to end the world, it's hard to care about anything except stopping them.

Oh? What's his name?

[Unbeknownst to Jill, she's met him and his little friend already.]

If that is the case, I hope you and your friends find the solution you desire. Both in returning home and liberating it.

Lucanis. If you meet a man who looks like he hasn't slept in ten years, funny accent, that's him.

[... he's not wrong about the insomnia though.]

Yeah. Me too. And that's why I can't stay, given the option.

Lord Dellamorte.

I wouldn't describe him as so. Yes, his manner of speech did strike me as unfamiliar, but referring to it as funny would be more than a bit rude.

[Notice she says nothing about how tired Lucanis looks. Jill assumes the presence of a demon sure doesn't help with that.]

I have another query, if you don't mind?

Edited 2026-01-11 00:59 (UTC)

Don't worry, I tell him that all the time. He calls me self-righteous right back. We're good.

[They've progressed from Murder to Give Each Other Shit - at least from where Davrin comes from in the timeline.]

Go ahead. I'm listening.

Self-righteous? I don't agree except in your opinion of slugs.

[Did he think she would ever let him forget that? Never.]

If the issue with the gods had been settled (or simply did not exist to begin with), would your answer remain the same?

Next time I run into a banana slug, I'll bring it to you for some affection. ... Yeah. It would. If the gods weren't trying to rip down the veil between worlds, I'd still have a duty with the Wardens. There would still be Blight, and Darkspawn - people still need defending from them. I'm a Grey Warden. Above all else.

[Kaveh doesn't answer for a while, because...well, it's a touchy thing, isn't it? But, eventually..]

I want to go home. But...there are people I'd want to take with me, if I can.

[It is a sensitive topic, but the thoughts have been brewing in Jill's head for months now and recent conversations are making her reach out in search of like minds.]

People you've met here?

Yes. I know there are people who want to stay here, specifically...but for people who don't have much to return to but can't do well here, I'd want to take them where they could thrive.

[It probably doesn't take a genius to work out he means Sherlock.]

[Then call her a fool because while her and Sherlock have met, she's not familiar enough with him to properly guess that.]

When you say "can't do well here", what exactly do you mean?

I would rather not disclose their personal details, but this type of world isn't going to be well-suited to everyone who comes to it.

Forgive me. I allowed my curiosity to get ahead of my good sense.

But I still have one more question: are they aware you wish to take them with you?

...Come to think of it, I assumed it was obvious, but I've never really discussed it...

I should go fix that.

Yes, perhaps you should. Just because there might be a case where they would want something different for themselves and it'll probably be better for you two to come to an agreement before the time to act comes.

[...]

I doubt they'd want to return, from what I've heard. But I want them to simply have the choice.

I want everyone to have the choice where they end up. I can't see any other outcome as acceptable.

I agree. Cid taught me a man (or woman, if you will) should always have a say in their own path. I wonder if just simply bringing up the topic to them would be enough to assess the next steps for both of you.

Though experience has also taught me it isn't always that easy. Convincing someone there is the potential of something better for them out there is just as difficult as showing up to the battlefield empty-handed.

It would be smarter for me to stay. Safer, even. But I would rather not stay if I had the option.

[That is certainly a straight to the point network name, but like Jill didn't get to pick hers, she assumes that is the same case here.]

So even with the option at hand, you'd still choose returning over your own safety? That seems rather...

[Stupid, if she was the type to say so, but thankfully Jill has a better vocabulary than that.]

...imprudent. But a man should have a say in their life, so if that is what you desire, then I hope that is how it shall be.

Edited 2026-01-11 03:15 (UTC)

[The name was certainly not intentional- he’s not a fan of mages, but it feels to him more like a practical joke than his actual sentiments on the group.

Calling his decision imprudent does make him feel a little prickly, though.]

Imprudent? Perhaps the forces that put me here should have considered it was imprudent to take me. I have no way to see through events set in motion at home.

[He was just going to leave it at that, but then adds:]

Are you satisfied with your unfinished business at home remaining so? Even if it means those you care about are in danger?

Edited 2026-01-11 18:10 (UTC)

I've learned most people would choose not to bring risk to themselves if they were guaranteed asylum. Perhaps it could be considered selfish, but again, it is what they want and truly, I am no one to demand otherwise of them.

[A pause and then another message comes in:]

I have no unfinished business.

[Not quite true. Yes, there is the fact that almost all of Jil's people—her lover, her found family, unlikely friends and allies—are here, but there's one mystery that remains to be resolved back in Valisthea. She's just unsure if her soul can bear a potential conclusion of that one.]

[ it takes her some time to reply, mostly because she has an answer and that answer is "no." but the way the question is phrased gives her pause. that sounds like a discussion awaiting and discussions mean information. ]

Are you asking in the context of everyone's lives both here and in their respective homes? Or are you asking if a person had no other obligations, no goals or people they need to return home to, would they remain here instead?

[ in other words, her answer might be different if they strip away everything that ties her to her home. but if they keep those ties, the job she needs to finish or her teammates or literally anything involving the people of her city whom she needs to protect because no one else will, then absolutely no. ]

Either one. I didn't want to limit any potential answers to one or the other as I suppose it cannot be as simple as "I don't have anyone I care for at home" or "I have leftover goals to achieve". There must be a grey area somewhere in some cases, so that line is where I find myself interested.

[Her own answer could be uncomplicated in that everyone she considers part of her family is here, no longer dead or missing in action. While the final condition of Valisthea and the lands beyond it is still left in the air, Jill's finding herself feeling a might selfish these days. She wonders if there should be some guilt for that.]

No. There would be no reason for me to stay because the people I know will go home and forget me. I'll just be alone.

I see. But I must ask: is making new acquaintances in that case not an option? Or does the prospect of doing so repeatedly sound tiresome?

I've lost enough people. At least by going home I will regain someone.

I have too many responsibilities to get back to. Besides, this place is nice, but it's not home. It's probably safer, but I've made a lot of promises I intend to keep.

Would it be too forward of me to ask what kind of promises those are?

[Probably, but she feels a need for conversation, perhaps forming a connection with this person and what better way to do so than by being nosy?]

[Maybe for some people, but Harding is pretty open, whenever she can be. No secrets to be had here.]

I'm sure you've heard about some of it from Davrin, but I've got a job to do. Things to see through that can't be left for others to clean up. There's a blight to stop, and wrongs to be made right.

I can think of a few hypothetical scenarios in which someone might want to stay here rather than return to their home world, but I imagine those would be a small minority of cases.

Most people have loved ones, families, obligations. Ties that bind. Only a few would have so little as to find the prospect of building a life in another universe acceptable.

I can too, but my interest lies more in seeing if we shared any commonalities rather than hard numbers.

Though I still wonder if anyone who has those connections would still choose to remain. Certainly, it cannot be so black and white between having something and not having something, can it?

I don't know. I'm not sure what would compel someone to abandon all responsibilities like that. I have many obligations awaiting me back home, and certainly not all of them are pleasant, but I would never run away from them.

I would choose to stay.

[ He considers just leaving the message there, but he'll add a little more. ]

This world isn't perfect, but it's kinder than the one I come from. And almost all of the people I care for are here.

[ His biggest fears are leaving, or them leaving. Not that he says that part. ]

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