Alhaitham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
indispensable) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2024-02-02 03:37 am
indispensable) wrote in shellphones2024-02-02 03:37 am
Entry tags:
text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)
Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings:Impersonation and clickbait B| None whatsoever.
Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.
It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.
Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.
Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.
[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]
Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.
[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]
Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!
[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings:
Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.
It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.
Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.
Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.
[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]
Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.
[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]
Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!
[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]
action;
More than anything, the guilty understanding that there had been, truly, no one else when Kaveh left digs in like a knife.]
It's hardly trivial, but again, it is one evening.
action;
[Easier to just focus on that part rather than everything else that rears its heard at what Kaveh had first said. He knows now, of course, that one person can never truly be anything, but the events behind that particular lesson is... certainly one that he'd rather not repeat again, if at all possible.]
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[...Huh?]
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Oh? Is the esteemed Light of Kshahrewar actually willing to let others know about his living situation now that he owns a place of his own instead of living under another's roof?
[It's a thought that'd been brewing in Alhaitham's mind for a while now. Kaveh had always been insistent on keeping his living situation num back in Sumeru, and Alhaitham had respected that choice regardless of his own feelings over that matter. Coming to this world hadn't changed that fact, but then there'd been multiple instances where Kaveh had simply just stated it without any hesitation and so Alhaitham is... unsure now, of where that leaves him.]
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[He doesn't really understand this line of questioning. To him, it's always been perfectly obvious why his situation needs to be hidden. His clashes with Alhaitham were the only thing people seemed to know about the man for the longest time--if they were found to be living together, people would start looking into why.
The only outcomes he could forsee from the discovery of the Light of Kshahrewar's debt would either be his reputation to come apart at the seems...or for the tide of public opinion to turn on Dori. She doesn't deserve that, but also, he's not enough of a fool to think there'd be no consequences.
None of that is true here. While he misses his job and his work, in this place he is truly free of the weight of his reputation.]
Did you--think there was some reason other than that?
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... [A notably long pause hangs here now as Alhaitham simply stares at Kaveh, saying nothing, but it eventually does break when he turns his head away to glance aside.]
I'm well aware of how much you want to keep up the prestige that comes with your title.
[And, well, he'd simply figured that Kaveh would want to keep that up. Why wouldn't he? It's not as if he'd burned through everything else he'd had on him to achieve it after all, regardless of what Alhaitham feels about the whole thing. He knows better than to impress his thoughts and opinions onto Kaveh in such a fashion now.]
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[Kaveh watches Alhaitham for a moment, brow furrowed, trying to work through what he's seeing. The surprise, the glance away--
Had he thought there was another reason? He's always assumed Alhaitham knew why, and just was so unaffected by the reputations of others he found the notion stupid, not that he might have thought there was any other reason...] It'd be beyond foolish, even for me, to try and get you to make even acquaintances you tolerate and then pretend you're not living in this house with me.
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[He says this while still looking away. Alhaitham still very much remembers how panicked and offended Kaveh had been that one time he'd brought them over after the whole incident with Siraj... at least he'd gotten along well with the two outlanders at the end, but still. The whole thing has stuck with him a bit as a fairly predominant example of what he apparently can't do, and now...
Confusing. Kaveh continues to be endlessly confusing and contradictory, even now.]
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[Bro he was fucking shook.]
...Is this really so hard to believe?
[Has...he really made it seem that way? Well, he does complain about the man morning noon and night, and to his face, and has...said he can't stand him or his philosophy and...
...he's really been awful, hasn't he?]
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And yes, it is a fact that he doesn't care about people's opinions about him, or their reputations for that matter. But he understands how much Kaveh cares about his, even if he finds it illogical, but it doesn't change the fact that it is important to Kaveh, and so—]
You are the one who keeps saying one thing and then doing another. All I can do is act accordingly to what I see and hear.
[Because thinking that he knows everything has so clearly worked out for him before.]
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[Stubborn. Stubborn man. But he's always been that way, and if he thought there were other reasons to Kaveh's reticence, then...well, this is probably Kaveh's fault, as usual.]
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[There's a lengthy pause again as Alhaitham glances at Kaveh ever so slightly now, to stare at his senior's face to see the sincerity of those words with his own eyes.
...he can see, indeed, that Kaveh does very much mean what he says here, which is again something that Alhaitam is going to need some time to wrap his head around. While he won't deny there'd been something of a shift between them ever since the events surrounding the Interdarshan Competition, there'd been a sort of equilibrium that had existed there, one that he was content with letting it stay. But ever since they'd come here things just keep happening that shakes that balance each time, and not for the first time Alhaitham isn't entirely sure what to make sense of it all, or on what will happen when the time comes where that balance is finally fully upset. Will it be for the better, or will history repeat itself? He isn't sure if he wants to know the answer, this time.
...still, those are things he can dwell on later. But for now, with this particular situation—]
This is your place, so you are free to do as you see fit. [He says as he turns back to face forward, arms dropping back down. And though the tension that'd been unconsciously building up on his shoulders has faded away, he hasn't brought his gaze back to properly look at Kaveh, instead still sort of glancing aside.] If a party is what you want to do, then I have no right or reason to stop you.
[He is, after all, simply a tenant now. Even if part of him is aware that he will perhaps be the only tenant in this place that is obviously meant for more than two people who share the same bed.]
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But to talk about that, to be honest about why, that requires more bravery than Kaveh possesses.]
At least emerge long enough to get to the grill. You always complain how I season the meat anyway.
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[This, at least, is familiar territory, and one that Alhaitham is perfectly fine with treading over as many times as he has to. It is not that he fears the unknown, but he knows better than most how volatile Kaveh can be, and how one single thing can be enough to cause an entire chain reaction if he isn't careful. And for all the issues that he has with Kaveh, none of them should ever lead him to that near ruined state that Alhaitham had seen him in, back on that fateful night.]
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[That strange tension dissipates as they bicker, treading back into familiar (comfortable) waters, but it lingers at the back of Kaveh's mind. What does Alhaitham think Kaveh thinks of him...? He's always avoided confronting how deep that wound goes, but with all his assumptions about Alhaitham's resentment challenged, and them in somewhere so unfamiliar, Kaveh is forced to step back and really assess the damage he'd done.
That's why, no matter what people have said, he's not sure he has the right to tell Alhaitham the truth.]
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[Alhaitham, on his own end, has always been fairly convinced of what Kaveh thinks of him. He won't deny that they'd been close, long ago, but that is a time that has long since passed, and the both of them are different people now. He has never held any hope for anything being like how they used to be, even if at times there are... snatches and fragments of what once was. And as bittersweet as those moments are, he does not let himself linger on them, for he knows better than most how nostalgia can distort even the worst of memories.
The facts are simply as they'd been laid out: Kaveh has said he regretted them ever being friends, and he'd been only living in Alhaitham's place out of necessity until the time comes where he can move out. These are the truths that Alhaitham has seen and understood and accepted, much like how the sky is blue and the grass is green. The certainty in them is one he'd never felt necessary to question, up until now. And now that he finds himself having to do so...
...he isn't sure what will be the answers he is going to find there, but Alhaitham has never been one to leave something unanswered if he can help it.]
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[He'd said it then, hadn't he? There is nothing more he regrets than those words, said cruelly, flung out in a moment of pain and desperation. He'd wanted Alhaitham to bleed just as much as he was, and where had that gotten them?
It has been obvious for a while now, that Alhaitham cares, and does so deeply. But Kaveh cannot imagine that Alhaitham could love him again. So the reason behind this care remains elusive, and he is afraid of burning his hands on hope again.]
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[The thing about pain is that it is only recognizable if it is understood. And while Alhaitham is no stranger to pain, it is not as if there is ever just a singular type of pain, just as how there is no singular way of existence. The pain over the loss of his parents had been minimal, for he does not remember enough of them to truly feel like he has ever lost anything, and with his grandmother it had been an eventuality he was prepared to face, but when it came to Kaveh—
How does one explain the loss of something which had once been a certainty, an understanding? Is it ever possible to rationalize something that lost all meaning in an instant, even though the person themselves is still around? They are there, and yet they are also not. They exist, but they might as well be smoke in the wind, leaving nothing else except the hole that'd been neatly carved out within him, in the perfect shape of something that will never willingly fit.
He doesn't remember now, exactly how long that had lasted. All he knows is that it got easier, eventually, and that no matter what time does not wait for anyone or anything, least of all somebody like him.
So he'd moved on, just as he did with everything else. What has happened has already happened, and nothing can change it. They've made their choices and so must accept the consequences, no matter what it might be.]
my deepest apologies to anyone stalking this, they're ridiculous.
[Kaveh maybe your spice tolerance is akin to a baby or someone from Mondstat.
It's easier to focus on that then the still gaping wound in his chest. He'd been the one who tore his own heart out. He'd been the one who shattered everything in the face of a truth he could not handle, a cleaving wound that opened up his broken heart to the sunlight.
He had hated Alhaitham. Resented him, truly. And yet, even then, even as they spoke only in angry letters to academic journals, whenever he'd completed a project, the first person he'd wanted to share it with was...
He wasn't there. And it was Kaveh who'd done it.
But with pain and time comes wisdom, and Kaveh thinks the men they were--still barely more than teenagers, only just on the threshold of adulthood--could never have learned to bend. He is older and tireder now, and he understands only now what Alhaitham had really meant that day. They cannot go back.
But they could be something else, couldn't they?]
they're so normal about each other
[Yeah Kaveh your spice level is horrible. Sometimes Alhaitham still can't believe you are actually from Sumeru? People eat spice all the time??
Not that he has ever doubted that, really. Kaveh has always been the pinnacle of what a scholar can be, and then so much more than that. He has never let tradition and rules hold him back, even at the height of Azar's reign, his determination to shine even through the toughest of times never once faltering. Even as a student he'd strived to bring the arts in Sumeru onto a new and unprecedented level, and in the end the Palace of Alcazarzaray had become the jewel that the City of Wisdom now holds as near and dear to their heart.
The fact that they would claim it so, after everything that Kaveh has sacrificed for it, has never truly sat well with him. So, maybe in some ways the both of them being here is a good thing, for as like what Kaveh has said earlier—here, Kaveh does not have to be weighed down by the weight of his title and perceived prestige. He is free to do anything that he wants, and though there are still many days where he is frustrated at being unable to create the things that he is inclined towards he finds many other ways to occupy himself. And of course its not at all perfect, but...
The freedom to do whatever he wishes, the lack of pressure to pay back his debts or any rent at all, the knowledge that he isn't alone now, because Alhaitham is with him here... this might be nowhere close to a possibility that neither of them had ever thought about, but now that the chance is here—what harm is there, is grasping it? Maybe something might be forged anew from this opportunity.
...its why, with that thought in mind, Alhaitham does relent—just a little.]
...still, considering how neither of us are aware of the actual dietary preference of whoever you plan to invite, it'll make more sense to split up the dishes.
they've never been normal a single day in their lives
[Kaveh puffs up, but something in his chest seems to shake loose. Yes, this is comfortable. This feels...it's nothing like they were as students. Then, they never stopped to think about what a life together really meant.
They cannot go back. But older and wiser...here, in a place where they can start fresh...
...Well, who knows?]
Hff. That's the first bit of sense you've spoken all night. Now give me your phone, I'm fixing your edit.
they really have not at all
For all that they have stayed the same in some ways, it has been made clear time and time again that they have also both changed in others. Time and distance has made them both wiser and more learned, in terms of themselves and each other. And though there are things about Kaveh which Alhaitham knows he might not be able to wholly understand... it is fine. He has accepted now that not everything is meant to be known, for better or worse.]
What, so you can shame me further? [He asks this, voice completely dry and with a pointed roll of his eyes, but despite all that he still holds out the shellphone that'd been in his hand this whole time for Kaveh to take and do as he desires.
At the end of the day, there is nobody else who Alhaitham would trust more than Kaveh, even until now.]
being unique is also an asset, no?
[He makes an addendum, instead of resuming the deception, at least. Kaveh's picked up the dexterity for typing on the shellphone remarkably quickly, so it's not long before he hands the phone back.]
only to each other lbr
[He takes his phone back from Kaveh once he's done, taking a moment to read through what has been added, and then snorts. Those sure are a number of exclamation points there, senior.]
So? Who are you planning to invite for this get together? [Since he didn't really specify anything in the post itself.]
they're fools in love
[Kaveh snorts and rolls his eyes, but he's already starting to hunt around for some paper and pen.]
Well, the crew of the Hideaway, though I don't know they'll all come. Clive, Joshua, Dion, Cid...there's a few others I haven't met yet. Rem and March. G'raha...Freminet and his brother, so try not to strangle him in the backyard, okay? There's a couple other teenagers I seem to have...acquired.
I don't know or even think they'll all come. And I don't plan to make a habit of inviting so many people, before you say it. But it's something Mother used to say, that homes need their christening, same as any other newborn.
they are... they love each other so much... i cry
wehhh
;3; one day... they'll know....
soon...(tm)
Soon............
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