Backdated to July 2nd

[general_affairs]

Type: Video
Sender ID: general-affairs
To: Public
Subject: Weird ass birds
Warnings: Swearing, nsfw topics



[ So there's a redhead on screen, and he's sitting outside, clearly. It's a nice, sunny day. There are clouds overhead. He looks like he's maybe sitting against something. From the color and texture, and the greenery around him, it looks like he's just casually sitting under a tree.

Why is Reno out near the wood's edge? Mind your business. ]

So, you guys hear that?

[ He lowers the camera so the viewers get a vague view of his be-goggled forehead, a bushel of red hair, and a whole lot of tree canopy overhead. Nothing else is happening, except, after a few moments, there it is:

a faint 'DICKS!!'.

There are a few more replies of 'DICKS!!' echoing from various directions. ]

Anyone wanna tell me why the woods're screamin' about dicks?

I mean--shit. Me too, buddy. But I don't go yellin' about it, yo.

Comments

[indispensable]

[From Kaveh's side off screen:] I wasn't aware that you've become an expert on birds now, senior.

reno I'm so sorry

[empyrean_mirror]

And you are?

no no he is LIVING right now

[general_affairs]

[ not here but if he can catch snippets of the conversation over the shellphone he's just ALL ears and mischievous, vulpine little grins. ]

gay disasters strike again

[indispensable]

I'm not the one making the claim to know how birds sound like.

get your tickets now.

[empyrean_mirror]

[Kaveh never did find out there's a mute button.]

We live in a jungle. Of course I know what birds sound like. Have you ever heard birds yelling about dicks in the woods once in your life?

one night only

[indispensable]

[Alhaitham knows where it is, but he never bothers.]

There might've been an incident or two back in the Grand Bazaar.

[You know some kids and people who try it for a spot of laughter only to have it backfire in the most spectacular manner.]

But I suppose the Light of Kshahrewar might be too busy drowning in his own work to have heard about such things.

(they're here forever)

[empyrean_mirror]

...Wait, how did that get by me? You make me do all the shopping!

[DID THE AUNTIES HOLD OUT ON HIM???]

👀 HE LOVES GETTING TO BE NOSY I PROMISE YOU.

[general_affairs]

[ NOT THE AUNTIES! ]

(is he here, is he not, mysteries to be solved later)

[catsgothistongue]

[Dad fight! Dad fight! Dad fight!]

one night... for many nights to come

[indispensable]

You're only shopping when you're not up to your ears in your work. [Which as they know, is more often than not.] You're not the one buying the coffee after you collapse in bed right before sunrise.

[They don't hold out on him Kaveh just misses all the fun stuff all the time like the Archon Quest.]

the kaveh and alhaitham comedy gay hour

[empyrean_mirror]

How often are people teaching birds to swear at the morning market? How are they surviving that? I'm sure Cyno would have grumbled about this?

[HE HAS SO MANY QUESTIONS??? DON'T HOLD OUT ON HIM?????]

gay hour every hour of every day

[indispensable]

Surely the esteemed genius architect of Sumeru would be able to find those answers himself instead of asking it from a mere feeble scholar.

[He's having so much fun.]

[empyrean_mirror]

Sure, if we weren't in a different world.

[JABBING A FINGER INTO ALHAITHAM'S CHEST. Mehrak now helpfully moves the phone to put them both into frame. Guys--]

And what part of you is feeble, exactly?

[indispensable]

[Mehrak stop helpfully implicating them further.

And also Alhaitham isn't going to give a verbal response to that question because the look that he's giving Kaveh now says everything that his senior needs to know.]

[empyrean_mirror]

Listen here you little shit--

[Yeah this is about to go right off the rails.]

[indispensable]

[Did anyone expect anything else.

But also Alhaitham will catch his senior's wrist before he can poke him in the eyeball or something equally unpleasant, tugging him in after so that now he can keep one flailing architect perfectly trapped in his arms.]

[empyrean_mirror]

Feeble my ass.

[He is squirming and pouting.

Man it'd be horrible if someone came in the window during this.]

[indispensable]

[Well if somebody does decide to come in they'll be treated to the sight of Alhaitham pulling Kaveh all the way in for a very deep and thorough kiss that makes no attempt to hide anything whatsoever. Groping will also be involved.]

SORRY NOT SORRY

[catsgothistongue]

Y' guys going for round two there?

[Guess who snuck through one of the windows and is now currently hanging upside down above from one of the support beams on the ceiling? It's ya boi and feral son.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[Kaveh's shriek might pierce the very heavens themselves.]

Wha--Ranma?!

[WHY ARE YOU HANGING FROM THE CEILING?]

[catsgothistongue]

[CAUSE RUMIKO TAKAHASHI LOVES SPIDER-MAN.]

Funny, I'm not noticin' a any melted phones or smoking ovens here...

[indispensable]

[Its one thing to be interrupted but another thing to have your husband shriek right at your ear—

Ow is kind of an understatement right now, really.]

I see somebody is asking to be thrown out in the next minute.

[Hello you disturbed his VERY NICE MAKEOUT SESSION?? What a way to ruin absolutely everything.]

[empyrean_mirror]

Tssst, sorry--

[He did feel Alhaitham flinch, but in his defense, who wouldn't shriek in this situation???

He does turn to Mehrak. And notice she has the phone. Oh god they were live.]

M--Mehrak, shut that off! And you! [Pointing at Ranma!] Did you seriously break into the house to pun at me?!

(1/2)

[catsgothistongue]

[Of all the times he and Akane's private times were interrupted and butted in, it feels a bit nice to be on the opposite end of that. Still holding onto the beam by his feet, he waved off the pointing man.]

What, no, of course not?!

(2/2)

[catsgothistongue]

The windows were unlocked. Didn't need to break them.