Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

[catsgothistongue]

[And they were roommates...]

Just roommates. Nothing else?~

[Does he need to pull up what Darin said during the calendar talk?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Best...friends?

[catsgothistongue]

Dude.

[They all can see it, they're not subtle about it he says only finding this out recently during a calendar advent of all things Does he really need to say more?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What?!?

[LOOK THERE ARE REASONS WHY HE CAN'T JUST COME OUT AND SAY WHAT THEY ARE AND THAT'S BECAUSE HE AND ZELDA DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. THEY'RE ROOMMATES. INTIMATE ROOMMATES.]

[Besides, he's not going to make an announcement like that without Zelda's approval. Even though he kinda did. Twice.]

Everyone is getting the wrong idea here! [No they're not.]

[catsgothistongue]

Are we? Are we really getting the wrong idea of you and Zels being an item?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yes!

Look, are we close? Yes!

Did we move in together? Absolutely!

Did anything else specifically happen between us?? I don't see how that's relevant!

[catsgothistongue]

[...]

... you two banged, and there isn't anything more than [Doing a very good Darin impression and even restyled his hair for a split second to the beefcake, minus the pigtail] 'being close' going on?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE DIDN'T DO THAT!!!

[catsgothistongue]

THEN WHAT DID YOU DO??

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE GOT GHOST MARRIED!!!

(1/2)

[catsgothistongue]

[......]

(2/2)

[catsgothistongue]

Oooooh, so that's who was asking about the legitimacy over ghost marriage here.

[empyrean_mirror]

Ranma, she probably made it anonymous for a reason.

[catsgothistongue]

[WHY ARE YOU HERE DAD??]

Blame Darin for spilling, not me!

[empyrean_mirror]

There's nothing I can do about Darin, Ranma.

[That man's beyond help.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm literally right here.

[catsgothistongue]

So you're blaming me??

[:<]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[SHITSHITSHIT]

NO THAT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!!!

[catsgothistongue]

Sure, 'cuz anyone else other than me and you two have gotten ghost married before.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Wait, what?

You got—

What??

[catsgothistongue]

... Okay, not marriage exactly, more like harassed by different ghosts into dates or marrying them--

[Shut up, and get back on track.]

Forget about that, this isn't about me, this is about you and Zels. Or hammocks.

[Sorta lost the plot there.]

Voice

[general_affairs]

[ Sorry, Reno couldn't help himself. ]

And they were roommates??

leaving this in cause it's too hilarious

[catsgothistongue]

Oh my gods, they were "roommates..."

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?!

[general_affairs]

[ Not Reno out here barking with laughter. ]

They got a saying out by the reactors for this:

Bless your heart.