shellphones | first ⚔️ tomatoes are veggies

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first ⚔️ tomatoes are veggies

Type: Text
Sender ID: rokubro (Rokurou)
To: Public
Subject: Tomatos R Veggtabels
Warnings: Chaos and ragebaiting

[There is only the following message depicted in this picture:]

[text version for those who can't see the image:

Tomatos R Veggtabels CHANGE MY MIND

Yep, that's it. HE'S ON TEAM VEGETABLES NO MATTER WHAT try and prove him and everyone else wrong—

This is an open post that anyone can threadjack and comment to anyone!]

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You're not actually going to do this, are you?

[Staring daggers at him through the phone.]

Why, gonna stop me?

[At this point, it's less to prove a point and more because she challenged him.

And he hardly ever backs down from one.]

At this point, I'm not sure I can...

I'll call you once I find a bottle.

Please don't.

[Yeah, she's just... going to hang up now, although she figures that her protests only further his desire to do the exact opposite of what she asks if only so that he can "prove his point".

All he's going to do is prove that he can drink an entire bottle of ketchup...

With that, their call ends.]

[Yep, she is exactly right.

Should he do this?

Probably not.

Will he?

Yes.

So it'll be a little bit of time before Lightning will receive a text that just has Rokurou holding up a bottle of ketchup and the words:]

fond a bottl

[Well, to his credit, at least he didn't call, but the photo doesn't make it any better.]

Great. Now put it in the fridge and save it for some fries.

[Next picture is of the bottle uncapped and him holding it up closer to his face as if to drink it.]

nah gnna drnk it

wnna watch?

[Ew!!!]

No.

[But she has a suspicion that he's going to do it anyway—]

[He's definitely going to do it because RING RING video call incoming.]

[What if she just doesn't answer...

She picks up on the last ring, turns on video—]

... Can't believe I'm doing this.

[He'd just call again—

But Rokurou will just smirk, waving the bottle of ketchup on the screen.]

I'm a man of my word.

[It's terrible how morbidly curious she is now, like she's about to watch a trainwreck coming from miles away.]

Hope you've got a straw for it. Not a smoothie without one.

What, I can't just chug it straight?

No? Have you ever had a smoothie before? They're too thick to just "chug it straight".

I have, but I've drank them straight from the cup sometimes. Didn't really have much of a problem with it.

Nope. Won't count unless it's with a straw.

[She's just intentionally making this more difficult now. It's what he deserves.]

Think that's more of a you problem.

[He's not going to bother with the straw!! Going ahead and raising this up to his mouth.]

I think that's cheating—

[Oh my god, he's really doing it, the madman. THIS IS SO GROSS but she'll wait with only the slightest wince of disgust settling into her brow.]

[GLUG GLUG GLUG

Okay maybe not that much on the first "sip," but he will take a mouthful first. There will be a bit of a strange expression as he while he's had ketchup plenty of times, he's never really had this much in his mouth at once. And while it's weird...]

Huh, it's not the worst thing.

[It's not bad. So after swallowing, taking another—]

[HE'S NOT EVEN LISTENING TO HER...]

What?

[She stares at the screen of her phone, clearly shocked.]

You're saying you actually like it?

Kind of hard to say if I like it as a drink, but I could do it.

[Annnd another "sip."]

Tolerable is probably the better word.

[Stop. Drinking.]

Still think it's a smoothie?

No. Which means it's not a fruit.

[She is going to suplex him...]

That wasn't even the point of all of this!

[WHAT WAS THE POINT she doesn't even remember anymore why he was drinking ketchup!!!]

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rokubro - 2026-03-14 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

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sparkstrikes - 2026-03-14 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

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