shellphones | text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)

Entry tags:

text; finding friends...? (not real, totally clickbait)

Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public~
Subject: !!!
Warnings: ~~Impersonation and clickbait B|~~ None whatsoever.

Hello. I am Alhaitham, scholar and Scribe of the Akademiya. I have been informed by my gracious and kind senior that this network is an excellent communication tool.

It has been brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in social interactions, and that it may be detrimental to my health to stay inside and read all day.

Despite the many flaws in my personality, I am very knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, and am a thorough partner in any academic debate. While my way of speaking is quite strangely awkward and disjointed for a man who studies words for a living, my only criteria for judgement is that you are doing your best for your educational background.

Kaveh will be hosting a small party to celebrate the acquisition of a new home. I look forward to exploring the joys of friendship there with you. If you have any further questions, please forward them to me or to my kind senior, Kaveh.

[A few hours later, this post is amended with the following:]

Disregard the contents of this post; Kaveh made it using my shellphone while I was not paying attention. The party that he mentioned above is also not happening.

[A second amendment, around half an hour later:]

Ignore Alhaitham!! The party will be happening!! I will be sending invites soon!!

[ooc note: despite this being written from Alhaitham's shellphone, Kaveh is the one who made the initial post. responses will come from either one of them depending on the time (before or after Alhaitham discovers what Kaveh has done), so do specify which time period your character is responding to!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What? This isn't about drinking, Alhaitham. You need to meet more people. Can you even name anyone on the crew besides Cid and I?

[Alhaitham opens his mouth, about to say a name, but the rest of Kaveh's question sinks in and he snaps it back shut with a faint scowl.]

What reason is there a need for it, beyond social etiquette? You know I am already getting by just fine.

[He has books and if he really wants to stretch his legs there's the Manta Board to occupy himself, among other things. Besides, he's only in the crew because Kaveh is. He has no real desire or intention to interact with anyone else.]

Sooner or later you will have to rely on these people. I told you before, the situation we're in is not one that can be solved by individual action.

[He knows damn well Alhaitham understands the concept, given the plan he'd apparently come up with to save Lord Kusanali.

...It really hadn't sounded like anything Alhaitham would have normally come up with. Kaveh still doesn't know how to feel about that.]

Can you not survive a single evening in the presence of others, now?

[Well sure he can work with people when he has to, but that doesn't mean he has to be friends with them?? He can work with people just fine without the requirement of cordiality??

Its the ridiculousness of such a statement along with the question that's asked which makes Alhaitham let out a dry snort in response, arms coming to cross over his chest.]

For what reason would I have to consider something so trivial? Are you not right in front of me this very moment?

...How many times have I told you? One man cannot be everything. I-- [Kaveh being Alhaitham's only friend worked out so fucking well last time, didn't it?

More than anything, the guilty understanding that there had been, truly, no one else when Kaveh left digs in like a knife.]

It's hardly trivial, but again, it is one evening.

You and I both know that enough can happen in the course of one evening.

[Easier to just focus on that part rather than everything else that rears its heard at what Kaveh had first said. He knows now, of course, that one person can never truly be anything, but the events behind that particular lesson is... certainly one that he'd rather not repeat again, if at all possible.]

I also know steps can be taken to mitigate disasters. Look, I know I can't convince you to not hide in the bedroom or office all night, but it won't kill you to make at least a token appearance.

[...Huh?]

Edited 2024-02-02 05:33 (UTC)

[There's a vague notion of squint from Alhaitham here now, because he's not entirely sure if he heard that right. Kaveh is... asking him to make an appearance? In this party? He just kind of assumed all of that was just part of this... prank or whatever Kaveh means to do.]

Oh? Is the esteemed Light of Kshahrewar actually willing to let others know about his living situation now that he owns a place of his own instead of living under another's roof?

[It's a thought that'd been brewing in Alhaitham's mind for a while now. Kaveh had always been insistent on keeping his living situation num back in Sumeru, and Alhaitham had respected that choice regardless of his own feelings over that matter. Coming to this world hadn't changed that fact, but then there'd been multiple instances where Kaveh had simply just stated it without any hesitation and so Alhaitham is... unsure now, of where that leaves him.]

...It's not like I have a career or reputation to protect here, Alhaitham? Nor am I in any debt or could Lord Sangemah Bay retaliate if the rumors turned out not in her favor.

[He doesn't really understand this line of questioning. To him, it's always been perfectly obvious why his situation needs to be hidden. His clashes with Alhaitham were the only thing people seemed to know about the man for the longest time--if they were found to be living together, people would start looking into why.

The only outcomes he could forsee from the discovery of the Light of Kshahrewar's debt would either be his reputation to come apart at the seems...or for the tide of public opinion to turn on Dori. She doesn't deserve that, but also, he's not enough of a fool to think there'd be no consequences.

None of that is true here. While he misses his job and his work, in this place he is truly free of the weight of his reputation.]

Did you--think there was some reason other than that?

[This... is very much not the answer that Alhaitham had expected, and while it might escape other people, the faint surprise that comes onto his face there and then is impossible for Kaveh to miss.]

... [A notably long pause hangs here now as Alhaitham simply stares at Kaveh, saying nothing, but it eventually does break when he turns his head away to glance aside.]

I'm well aware of how much you want to keep up the prestige that comes with your title.

[And, well, he'd simply figured that Kaveh would want to keep that up. Why wouldn't he? It's not as if he'd burned through everything else he'd had on him to achieve it after all, regardless of what Alhaitham feels about the whole thing. He knows better than to impress his thoughts and opinions onto Kaveh in such a fashion now.]

A title that's meaningless to these people. I don't even think the people here from Teyvat have heard of me--not that I ever expected my name to travel outside of Sumeru in the first place.

[Kaveh watches Alhaitham for a moment, brow furrowed, trying to work through what he's seeing. The surprise, the glance away--

Had he thought there was another reason? He's always assumed Alhaitham knew why, and just was so unaffected by the reputations of others he found the notion stupid, not that he might have thought there was any other reason...] It'd be beyond foolish, even for me, to try and get you to make even acquaintances you tolerate and then pretend you're not living in this house with me.

You certainly seemed to be against me bringing the Traveler and Paimon over that one time.

[He says this while still looking away. Alhaitham still very much remembers how panicked and offended Kaveh had been that one time he'd brought them over after the whole incident with Siraj... at least he'd gotten along well with the two outlanders at the end, but still. The whole thing has stuck with him a bit as a fairly predominant example of what he apparently can't do, and now...

Confusing. Kaveh continues to be endlessly confusing and contradictory, even now.]

You never bring anyone home and Paimon immediately suggested blackmailing me, Alhaitham.

[Bro he was fucking shook.]

...Is this really so hard to believe?

[Has...he really made it seem that way? Well, he does complain about the man morning noon and night, and to his face, and has...said he can't stand him or his philosophy and...

...he's really been awful, hasn't he?]

[In his defense, he did not know Paimon would do something like that. But she also wasn't wrong in the fact that Kaveh was the one who exposed his own weakness right off the bat by telling them not to let people know about his living situation. Which, you know, does nothing but convince Alhaitham further.

And yes, it is a fact that he doesn't care about people's opinions about him, or their reputations for that matter. But he understands how much Kaveh cares about his, even if he finds it illogical, but it doesn't change the fact that it is important to Kaveh, and so—]

You are the one who keeps saying one thing and then doing another. All I can do is act accordingly to what I see and hear.

[Because thinking that he knows everything has so clearly worked out for him before.]

Then listen to what I am saying right now, Alhaitham. I have no reason to hide this in a place where my career and reputation don't even exist to be at risk.

[Stubborn. Stubborn man. But he's always been that way, and if he thought there were other reasons to Kaveh's reticence, then...well, this is probably Kaveh's fault, as usual.]

...

[There's a lengthy pause again as Alhaitham glances at Kaveh ever so slightly now, to stare at his senior's face to see the sincerity of those words with his own eyes.

...he can see, indeed, that Kaveh does very much mean what he says here, which is again something that Alhaitam is going to need some time to wrap his head around. While he won't deny there'd been something of a shift between them ever since the events surrounding the Interdarshan Competition, there'd been a sort of equilibrium that had existed there, one that he was content with letting it stay. But ever since they'd come here things just keep happening that shakes that balance each time, and not for the first time Alhaitham isn't entirely sure what to make sense of it all, or on what will happen when the time comes where that balance is finally fully upset. Will it be for the better, or will history repeat itself? He isn't sure if he wants to know the answer, this time.

...still, those are things he can dwell on later. But for now, with this particular situation—]

This is your place, so you are free to do as you see fit. [He says as he turns back to face forward, arms dropping back down. And though the tension that'd been unconsciously building up on his shoulders has faded away, he hasn't brought his gaze back to properly look at Kaveh, instead still sort of glancing aside.] If a party is what you want to do, then I have no right or reason to stop you.

[He is, after all, simply a tenant now. Even if part of him is aware that he will perhaps be the only tenant in this place that is obviously meant for more than two people who share the same bed.]

Edited 2024-02-02 08:07 (UTC)

It's not just--[He stops himself, because that's opening a can of worms he doesn't know how to handle right now. But he's never thought of this place as solely his--fact is, he'd have never bothered buying it if Alhaitham hadn't shown up.

But to talk about that, to be honest about why, that requires more bravery than Kaveh possesses.]

At least emerge long enough to get to the grill. You always complain how I season the meat anyway.

Edited 2024-02-02 08:10 (UTC)

You never put enough pepper no matter how many times I tell you to do so.

[This, at least, is familiar territory, and one that Alhaitham is perfectly fine with treading over as many times as he has to. It is not that he fears the unknown, but he knows better than most how volatile Kaveh can be, and how one single thing can be enough to cause an entire chain reaction if he isn't careful. And for all the issues that he has with Kaveh, none of them should ever lead him to that near ruined state that Alhaitham had seen him in, back on that fateful night.]

Because you want me to use an entire jar of it, Alhaitham, not all of us like having our tastebuds scored clean off.

[That strange tension dissipates as they bicker, treading back into familiar (comfortable) waters, but it lingers at the back of Kaveh's mind. What does Alhaitham think Kaveh thinks of him...? He's always avoided confronting how deep that wound goes, but with all his assumptions about Alhaitham's resentment challenged, and them in somewhere so unfamiliar, Kaveh is forced to step back and really assess the damage he'd done.

That's why, no matter what people have said, he's not sure he has the right to tell Alhaitham the truth.]

I'm fairly certain Lambad uses more than a jar for his, and you've never complained.

[Alhaitham, on his own end, has always been fairly convinced of what Kaveh thinks of him. He won't deny that they'd been close, long ago, but that is a time that has long since passed, and the both of them are different people now. He has never held any hope for anything being like how they used to be, even if at times there are... snatches and fragments of what once was. And as bittersweet as those moments are, he does not let himself linger on them, for he knows better than most how nostalgia can distort even the worst of memories.

The facts are simply as they'd been laid out: Kaveh has said he regretted them ever being friends, and he'd been only living in Alhaitham's place out of necessity until the time comes where he can move out. These are the truths that Alhaitham has seen and understood and accepted, much like how the sky is blue and the grass is green. The certainty in them is one he'd never felt necessary to question, up until now. And now that he finds himself having to do so...

...he isn't sure what will be the answers he is going to find there, but Alhaitham has never been one to leave something unanswered if he can help it.]

Because he is doing a dry rub on an entire donner kebab, not single servings on the grill!

[He'd said it then, hadn't he? There is nothing more he regrets than those words, said cruelly, flung out in a moment of pain and desperation. He'd wanted Alhaitham to bleed just as much as he was, and where had that gotten them?

It has been obvious for a while now, that Alhaitham cares, and does so deeply. But Kaveh cannot imagine that Alhaitham could love him again. So the reason behind this care remains elusive, and he is afraid of burning his hands on hope again.]

And I've always held the opinion that a more concentrated flavor is what brings out the best of the meat, and I haven't seen any reason to change it.

[The thing about pain is that it is only recognizable if it is understood. And while Alhaitham is no stranger to pain, it is not as if there is ever just a singular type of pain, just as how there is no singular way of existence. The pain over the loss of his parents had been minimal, for he does not remember enough of them to truly feel like he has ever lost anything, and with his grandmother it had been an eventuality he was prepared to face, but when it came to Kaveh—

How does one explain the loss of something which had once been a certainty, an understanding? Is it ever possible to rationalize something that lost all meaning in an instant, even though the person themselves is still around? They are there, and yet they are also not. They exist, but they might as well be smoke in the wind, leaving nothing else except the hole that'd been neatly carved out within him, in the perfect shape of something that will never willingly fit.

He doesn't remember now, exactly how long that had lasted. All he knows is that it got easier, eventually, and that no matter what time does not wait for anyone or anything, least of all somebody like him.

So he'd moved on, just as he did with everything else. What has happened has already happened, and nothing can change it. They've made their choices and so must accept the consequences, no matter what it might be.]

You make yours so spicy you can't even taste the actual meat!

[Kaveh maybe your spice tolerance is akin to a baby or someone from Mondstat.

It's easier to focus on that then the still gaping wound in his chest. He'd been the one who tore his own heart out. He'd been the one who shattered everything in the face of a truth he could not handle, a cleaving wound that opened up his broken heart to the sunlight.

He had hated Alhaitham. Resented him, truly. And yet, even then, even as they spoke only in angry letters to academic journals, whenever he'd completed a project, the first person he'd wanted to share it with was...

He wasn't there. And it was Kaveh who'd done it.

But with pain and time comes wisdom, and Kaveh thinks the men they were--still barely more than teenagers, only just on the threshold of adulthood--could never have learned to bend. He is older and tireder now, and he understands only now what Alhaitham had really meant that day. They cannot go back.

But they could be something else, couldn't they?]

Edited (wrote too many feelings forgot the icon) 2024-02-02 09:57 (UTC)

That's because you can't even take a single Jueyun Chili without needing five glasses of milk to accompany you right after.

[Yeah Kaveh your spice level is horrible. Sometimes Alhaitham still can't believe you are actually from Sumeru? People eat spice all the time??

Not that he has ever doubted that, really. Kaveh has always been the pinnacle of what a scholar can be, and then so much more than that. He has never let tradition and rules hold him back, even at the height of Azar's reign, his determination to shine even through the toughest of times never once faltering. Even as a student he'd strived to bring the arts in Sumeru onto a new and unprecedented level, and in the end the Palace of Alcazarzaray had become the jewel that the City of Wisdom now holds as near and dear to their heart.

The fact that they would claim it so, after everything that Kaveh has sacrificed for it, has never truly sat well with him. So, maybe in some ways the both of them being here is a good thing, for as like what Kaveh has said earlier—here, Kaveh does not have to be weighed down by the weight of his title and perceived prestige. He is free to do anything that he wants, and though there are still many days where he is frustrated at being unable to create the things that he is inclined towards he finds many other ways to occupy himself. And of course its not at all perfect, but...

The freedom to do whatever he wishes, the lack of pressure to pay back his debts or any rent at all, the knowledge that he isn't alone now, because Alhaitham is with him here... this might be nowhere close to a possibility that neither of them had ever thought about, but now that the chance is here—what harm is there, is grasping it? Maybe something might be forged anew from this opportunity.

...its why, with that thought in mind, Alhaitham does relent—just a little.]

...still, considering how neither of us are aware of the actual dietary preference of whoever you plan to invite, it'll make more sense to split up the dishes.

I do not need five--

[Kaveh puffs up, but something in his chest seems to shake loose. Yes, this is comfortable. This feels...it's nothing like they were as students. Then, they never stopped to think about what a life together really meant.

They cannot go back. But older and wiser...here, in a place where they can start fresh...

...Well, who knows?]

Hff. That's the first bit of sense you've spoken all night. Now give me your phone, I'm fixing your edit.

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my deepest apologies to anyone stalking this, they're ridiculous.

they're so normal about each other

they've never been normal a single day in their lives