Text;

[thearchangel]

Type: Text
Sender ID: thearchangel (Garrus Vakarian)
To: Everyone
Subject: Help Wanted
Warnings: N/A

All right, I cave.

Help wanted for someone who can engineer a way to keep someone from sinking the second they set foot in a body of water.




And please don't say "swimming lessons" - that's not physically possible without a lot of flotation assistance.

Comments

[onebullet]

[ There's a good 15 minutes of silence, and then... ]

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⠀
It looked better before I sent it.

[thearchangel]

[... Please hold. Processing.]

[And so help him, he has to laugh.]

I think that's the best thing anyone's sent me in a long time.

[onebullet]

[ Backspaces the middle finger emoji. ]

How do I delete it.

[thearchangel]

Is that a serious question?

let's all agree to never be creative again

[onebullet]

No.

it's beautiful

[thearchangel]

Glad to hear it - I was going to be worried if you couldn't find the delete button.

Maybe offer some

lessons?

[onebullet]

On pushing my buttons?

Thats something I should be teaching you.

[thearchangel]

[... Hold up, sudden flashbacks to that drunk conversation with Darin and Karlach.]

[And The Revelations.]

Is

That something you'd like to... share with the class?

[onebullet]

[ His reply gets a laugh, though judging by his reaction to her emotional support emoji, she doubts he'd appreciate just getting a "lol" back. ]

Very funny.

[ She has no idea he's having war flashbacks potentially fishing for something else. ]

[thearchangel]

[Charisma Roll Fail.]

Well, since that's why you keep me around, I've got to stay sharp.

[SMOOTH RECOVERY!!]

[onebullet]

🖕

Do you know what that means?

[thearchangel]

Oh now that's just playing dirty.

I don't have enough fingers for that.

[onebullet]

Yeah you do, you've just got to tell people you're not pointing at the sky.

[thearchangel]

I could always put my hands together.

Six is better than three.

[onebullet]

That might work.

You should send me a pic of it.

[ Hehehe. ]

[thearchangel]

Wow, asking for photos over the network. Might give people the wrong idea.

[Stop being gross u two.]

[onebullet]

And what's the right idea?

[ No. ]

[thearchangel]

Ah

[oops.]

[HE FUMBLES. He didn't think this far ahead!!]

Something.

Research based.

TEXT| UN: hammertime

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I might be wrong here but I think shes asking you to order dinner

Send her one of those cheese frisbees or whatever theyre called

Putzes

Oh order me one too

[thearchangel]

That is not what she is asking, thanks.

Also no. I'm not buying you dinner.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Im not asking you to buy me dinner Im asking you to buy US dinner.

Her and then me for helping you out plus you owe me for punching me in the face.

I will take my reparations in the form of a putza

[onebullet]

Hold up.

[ Uh oh. ]

Is this true? What the hell happened?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Uh oh.]

[It was not Darin's intent to get Garrus in trouble.]

[Okay, he's got this.]

Oh I totally deserved it. We were drinking and I mouthed off and said some really stupid things so he wanted to help me calibrate.

[thearchangel]

Shots happened.

And confusing terminology.

[thearchangel]

That's not even a thing.

It's your own fault for not explaining what the hell a 'boba' was to start with.