Bedroom Talk

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice/Text
Sender ID: hammertime (Darin Altway)
To: Public
Subject: beds
Warnings: He's so stupid you guys

[Darin clears his throat because forget typing all of this out.]

Okay guys, I need you all to settle a bit of an argument Zelda and I are having.

See, we were out shopping for furniture for our new place and she tells me I need a bed. I say "you're right, I do! I know just the type!" So I go and I show her the hammocks because back home, I slept in a hammock. So she says [Darin clears his throat and proceeds to do his best Zelda voice] "Don't be preposterous, a hammock is not a proper bed."

Which is wrong. Because a hammock is totally a bed. Lots of things can be beds. So, to prove my point, I made this chart.



As you can see by this chart that I spent entirely too much time on, the parameters that dictate an objects "bedability" are thus. I think it's a pretty open and shut case.

Anyway, I think this explains why I should be allowed to get a hammock in my room. You guys are on my side on this, right?

[Just...you know. Ignore how he casually dropped that they're living together because he's brain dead.]

Comments

un; mightynappa [voice]

[minorinpain]

Hey I'm with you. You want a hammock, you get a hammock. Easy to fall asleep in and comfy as heck, too! Why does gettin' sleep got to be over-complicated, am I right?

voice un;catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

[Nod nod.]

Chrome dome's got it, sleep doesn't need to be so complex.

[minorinpain]

Yeah, exactly. Look, I ain't saying sleep doesn't have its place. Obviously, you gotta be well-rested if you wanna fight at your best. Hammocks are the way to go, if you don't got a Healing Tank handy.

[catsgothistongue]

Yea-

[Hold up.]

Healing Tank?

[minorinpain]

Yeah, Healing Tanks. Bit of Frieza Force tech. It's like this pod they toss you into after a big fight and you get really thrown around. The sort of stuff you can't just walk off. Then it gets filled with healing juices, I ain't a scientist, and a couple hours later you pop out fully healed, rested and ready for another go!

Probably about the only decent thing about working for that tiny little bastard.

[catsgothistongue]

[Huh, neat.]

Don't know what a Freezer Force is [Cooling company??], but that sounds like somethin' outta science flick. Certainly don't have anything like that back home. Usually you just gotta pull yourself up by the bootsteps and walk off any damage.

[Case in point, him walking off most of his bones being reduced to saw dust.

... Squiiiiints at the monitor...

Snap of the finger!]

Oh! You're that big bald guy I beat up at the festive. That's where I saw your face at!

[Said with a big dumb smile and the tone of recognition from someone who's meeting an old friend they hadn't seen in years again.]

[minorinpain]

Military arm of the planet trade organization. [No that would be his ambiguously-canon brother and we don't talk about him.] The Saiyans are, eh. Part of it. [What's left of them anyway.]

[Nappa squints at the text...he doesn't remember getting beaten up at no OH WAIT THIS IS THE GUY?!]

OH SO YOU'RE THE GUY WHO BEAT ME UP WHILE THAT GUY WAS INSIDE ME HUH?

I got a BONE to pick with you!

[catsgothistongue]

[Because he's cooler than Frieza?] Saiyans?

[Well, these are some pretty interesting deets to learn--

Oh. Tbh, that's about the reaction he'd expect at this point so he can't be too annoyed
by it.]

Geez, thought you'd be more grateful I helped.

[You're welcome, asshat. You beat the ghost outta guy, and he can't be bothered to say thank you.]

[minorinpain]

[He wishes.] Yeah, the Saiyans. That's what I am. The most feared raiders and warriors in the universe!

[Never mind there's only like...three of them left. Maybe.]

It's a point of pride! I can't be happy knowing someone beat me because of a damn handicap! You wouldn't have lasted a minute against me if I'd been in control'a myself!

[Seriously, some of those memories of the fight have come back and it's shameful, shameful the way the ghost fought. Nappa's embarrassed by assocation for being affiliated with such crap technique.]

[catsgothistongue]

Never heard of ya.

["Point of pride"... That's something Ranma can actually get behind. He knows he'd be pretty pissed if someone beat him only cause someone else was puppeteering him... sherry doesn't count, the ghost was actually trying to kill him and ranma broke himself free!

Grinning with an excited flare in his eyes.] How about a proper fight then, without any ghosts gettin' in the way? Won't change all the bruises I'll give ya', but it's like you said. No fun in beating someone with a handicap.

[minorinpain]

Lucky you. But you humans don't know much about the universe at large, do ya? If there is a Frieza Force where you come from, might just be they haven't gotten around to your planet yet. Gonna be a bad day for you when they do.

[When Ranma throws down, Nappa grins wolfishly.] Now you're talkin'. This time you can see what a Saiyan Elite is really capable of!

Sorry for the delay

[catsgothistongue]

Pssh, if that Freezer guy's as strong as you, I don't think I have much to worry about.

[He could handle some alien guy. No. No he absolutely could not he will die.]

Talking a big game there. Where do you wanna back them up?

[aka choose the battleground napster.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Honestly, yeah that's basically the size of it. Sleep's just a way to recharge. As long as you're comfortable enough to sleep, shouldn't that be all that matters?

[minorinpain]

Exactly! Besides, what's she moaning about, she's already got a bed to hoity her toit in. What's she getting on your case for?

Look, you give her an inch on this and she'll take a mile. So let me tell you what you need to do; you gotta go up to her, look her dead in the eye, and say "sleeping in hammocks is great".

You really gotta plant your feet on this one, or before long, she'll be winning all these battles by default!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[S...quints...]

...I dunno, that kinda makes me sound like an asshole.

1

[minorinpain]

So what? What's more important, getting your way or keeping her happy? If she don't like it she can grab her stuff and—

2

[minorinpain]

[Give him a minute.]

3

[minorinpain]

[OH CRAP NO WHAT IS HE DOING ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT]

fin

[minorinpain]

Yeah you should probably just buy a bed.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[NARROWING EYES.]

Okay but I don't see why she can't be happy and I get a sweet hammock.

[minorinpain]

Yeah, uh, if she's happy you're happy.

[Now Nappa's going to employ what's known as a Pro-Gamer Move.]

You got time later you should come out my way. I'm gettin' lax on training, it's better with someone to spar against. Come fight me.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[That was a wild change in topic. What could this guy be up to?]

[...shrug]

[Screw it.]

Yeah, fine. Where are you? I could use a good workout myself.

[minorinpain]

Out by the docks. Least people complain less if my energy blasts go out over the water. Just head for the rooftop those're coming from, we're up here.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Energy...what?

[He's already on the way but...what?]

[minorinpain]

Energy blasts! Shooting energy outta my hands. It's, you know. Like the flight. Basic stuff.