[VOICE] | un: hammertime

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Type: Voice with Screencaps!
Sender ID: hammertime
To: Public
Subject: Shellphone Tech Support
Warnings: Stupidity

Okay, I admit I'm not the best when it comes to technology but I'm seriously running out of patience here! All I want to do is text someone! I was able to text them before but then I changed their name in my phone and now I can't AND IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I CAN'T GET NEAR CERTAIN PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THESE BRANDS BUT IF I CAN'T TEXT SOMEONE NOW EXPLODING PRISONS ARE GONNA BE THE LEAST OF THEIR WORRIES.

[Darin takes a deep, steadying breath. Normally, the person he would go to for tech support is Zelda. A person he cannot presently go anywhere near. So now he's the network's problem.]

Look. Okay. I just. I need someone to look at my contacts and tell me if I screwed something up. Because I don't know what I did. I just changed one contact. I change contact names all the time! All the time!

LOOK. HERE.



CAN ANYONE SEE THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO TEXT SOMEONE AND EVERY TEXT I [Sounds of fingers furiously tapping] TRY [More tapping] I GET [TAPPING]

... ... ...

"MESSAGE CANNOT BE DELIVERED" MY BRIGHT, BLUE ASS!!! WHO THE HELL MADE THESE PIECES OF—

[Darin is drowned out by the sound of wind because he did, in fact, throw his phone.]

[He will retrieve it shortly once it lands.]

Comments

voice; thearchangel

[thearchangel]

[Oh he fuckin SEES that "girlfriend" right there, but more importantly--]

Where the hell did you get that picture of Shepard?

[... Garrus. Garrus did you not see your picture.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Garrus is that really the important thing right now?!

[thearchangel]

Do you want an answer to your tech issues or not?

[So, yes, yes it is.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I DON'T KNOW, GARRUS!! I TAKE PICTURES A LOT!! SOMETIMES RANDOMLY!! I'M ABOUT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY ASS AND SEND IT TO YOU EXCEPT APPARENTLY I CAN'T SEND TEXTS!!

[thearchangel]

I'll pass, thanks.

[You can just HEAR the eyeroll.]

Did you change the number when you changed the name?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

No, why on earth would I change the number? I only ever mess around with the photos and the names.

[thearchangel]

[Because you text like a drunk krogan--]

Because you're not familiar with tech as some of us are, and weird crap happens with these things all the time.

Just check the number and --

[thearchangel]

...



Change that picture of me.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

But you look so cute.

[thearchangel]

Where did that come from?

My face doesn’t even look like that anymore.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh that? It's a doodle I did on my phone.

[He completely forgot he was having issues.]

[thearchangel]

…


Scratch that, suddenly I’ve forgotten everything about technology.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS, COME ON I'M TRYING TO TEXT ZELDA!!

I'll tell her that her first mate is being really uncooperative.

[thearchangel]

Ah, well then, far be it from me to stand in the way of someone texting his girlfriend.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU BASTARD!!!

...Wait.




What?

[thearchangel]

Look at the image again.

Look at the picture of Zelda.

Now, stay with me… look at what you put her contact name as.

1/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

2/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

3/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

4/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

5/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

DONE

[forgeabettertomorrow]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thearchangel]

[Oh god.]

[Okay - he at least has the decency to mute his mic before doubling over laughing. It's more like a dry wheeze, but it's still a laugh. Don't cough up a lung big guy.]

You - you really didn't notice?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHUT THE HELL UP I'M ANGRY AND I JUST WANT TO TEXT MY—

GUH—

GI-APTAIN.

[thearchangel]

Didn't you also call her "my Zelda" on a big breaking out of prison announcement a while back? Or did I hallucinate that from crystal jail?

[He did not. He knows.]