text; un: archangel | Free Snacks

[thearchangel]

Type: Text
Sender ID: thearchangel (Garrus Vakarian)
To: Everyone
Subject: House cleaning with your neighborhood alien.
Warnings: None

Does anyone want any of this?

[Attached to the message is an image of many, many boxes of Pocky. There's so much. And it's all untouched.]

Before anyone asks "what kind is there", there's all kinds. No, I'm not selling it, just come take it away. Yes, I know there's a lot. No, I'm not going to eat it.

It's not opened, either. I just don't want it.

[Someone finally went back to his hole in the wall apartment after... a long time, and decided to finally clean house.]

Comments

» text | un: tilfrosset

[tilfrosset]

What is that?

[Sir, you can't just post strange looking sticks on the network and expect everybody to get it.]

[thearchangel]

[Sorry, Jill. He assumed it was a Human Thing(tm) all over-]

It's... a cookie with chocolate, or other kinds of flavor on it. That's how it was described to me.

[tilfrosset]

[Wow, Garrus! So you think all humans eat the same things? How dare!]

I see. Never seen any that look quite like that before.

But do you not like cookies?

[Surely, he'd want to keep a few boxes of treats for himself!]

[thearchangel]

Me either. Before a bunch of them wound up at my place.

[The little text of: Garrus Is Typing... pops up. Stops. Pops up again. Repeat several times before the answer comes over.]

No. If you want them, they're yours.

Text; un: chatteblanche

[chatteblanche]

what’s the catch?

[ Surely, someone would not give cookies away without expecting something in return! ]

[thearchangel]

No catch.

I'm not going to eat them, and I don't have space to just store them somewhere. Whoever takes them off my hands is doing me a favor.

[chatteblanche]

that makes sense. it's a win-win proposition.

do we need to bring our own means of taking them away?

[thearchangel]

... You know, you probably should.

I under-estimated how many boxes there were.

text; perfpilot

[sos_pilot]

I'LL TAKE ALL OF IT

[ do not let her have all of it ]

[thearchangel]

[Please take all of it.]

If you can carry it, sure. Go ahead.

[sos_pilot]

[ garrus no ]

SWEET! literally lol

how did you even GET all that anyway???

[thearchangel]

Someone left it behind.

Take as much of it as you want.

text; un: deepstar

[deepstar]

How and why do you have so much of it?

[thearchangel]

Someone left it behind.

[Which is. Ominous. But easiest explanation.]

I don't want it. They're not going to eat it.

[deepstar]

Hmmm. So you, yourself, aren't a fan.

[thearchangel]

No. I'm really not.

So - I'd rather give them away.

text | un: skypatrol

[playertwotailed]

That's *so many* boxes. How long have you had them all? Because I'll take as much as I can carry, as long as it isn't from a secret stash that's been piling up for years.

[He considers carefully.]

Actually, I might still take some either way. These kinds of snacks usually have crazy long shelf lives.

[thearchangel]

Probably a year. Little less. Packages aren't open.

[Was that really all it was? About a year? It feels like no time at all.]

Can't really tell you how the dates match up with time here, but they're probably fine.

[playertwotailed]

Yeah, if it's just one year they should still be good! I'd be surprised if they've even gone stale inside the package. I'll come and grab a dozen soon.

But I really am curious — why do you have so many?

[stillarhino]

whats with all the pocky yo

[Looks like someone hoarded an entire shelf of a convenience store if you asked him.]

[thearchangel]

Someone left it behind.

Do you want it or not?

[stillarhino]

if ya sure you dont want em i can take a buncha offa ya

un: reindered

[reindered]

what's that? chocolate? sweets? i'll take some!

[Garrus is lucky it isn't the cotton candy. Though at least that is sort of in control to some degree with Darin being able to make it with his machine, so that can be somewhat limited, that Chopper doesn't live off of the stuff.

But. Really. Anything chocolate/sweet, Chopper is probably going to like it.]

[thearchangel]

Some of it's chocolate. Apparently there's spicy ones, but I can't tell.

[Please come take this stuff away, doctor toddler.]

[reindered]

spicy?? but it's chocolate??

[Why ruin the delicious sweetness with spicy stuff??? Ew??]